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  1. #21
    Member Jstrazz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    I often have a problem with repressing feelings and having delayed emotional reactions to events. I also sometimes have trouble showing my feelings to others even when I'm aware of them.

    I've noticed it's hard for me to get angry at people when I'm actually around them, even when I consciously realize something is unfair or my boundaries have been crossed. Then when I'm alone it will sink in and my anger will flare up, and a lot of it is self-directed for letting myself become this smiling marshmallow/human bean-bag chair.
    Have you tried finding some way to reasonably disagree or voice your displeasure? Your anger may still flare, but you can merely get a word in to get them thinking about your feelings and boundaries. Maybe tell a friend and have them help you in the instance. It's obviously more complicated than that and more difficult but I think it would help you feel less anger towards yourself.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Well some of it. I just repress emotions I don't have the time to deal with, don't want to deal with, emotions that generally just get in the way of things. I had Aspergers as a child so dealing with emotions has always been a bit of a challenge for me because I don't really know what to do with them.
    And over time, you find yourself not having/finding time to deal with any emotions, and pretty soon even the smallest emotions are not worth the time or effort to sort through and understand. The process has become the proverbial slippery slope. I'm not the one to tell you what to do with them, but I'm sure someone else knows and will be more than willing to help.

  3. #23
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    And over time, you find yourself not having/finding time to deal with any emotions, and pretty soon even the smallest emotions are not worth the time or effort to sort through and understand. The process has become the proverbial slippery slope. I'm not the one to tell you what to do with them, but I'm sure someone else knows and will be more than willing to help.
    This is something that I can only help myself with. It is what it is.
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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    I have to hide a lot of my emotions every day, all the time from people, and it is a constant strain for me. Sometimes, I can mask things by putting on a persona of confidence and ease. However, this will only work when I am in a relatively relaxed state of mind.
    The mask works for a while (at least, we convince ourselves it does) but eventually the stress, angst and emotional weight seep into the cracks forming in the visage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    I also find it irritating as I enjoy being emotionally open with people; being able to share my feelings and thoughts without fear is the strongest way for me to bond with somebody. I have to hide my depression from my mum and dad for different reasons. My mum will just worry and think i'm going to commit suicide, because she doesn't understand what it is like to be depressed and won't spend the time to listen. She is also a big worrier and reads into things a lot. Whereas my dad...well apparently having feelings is an excuse for not working and being generally lazy. And of course, real men never cry, space out and get black. I get that from both of them.
    Those who have not experienced depression can never fully understand it. Your mom chooses to respond to it with fear born out of her love for you. She may be fighting her own battles and does not have the ammunition to take on your struggle while dealing with her own. Your father sounds like someone who is also emotionally repressed and cannot seek to help you without compromising the values and lack of emotion he lays on himself. From the snippet you've given us about your family, I would suggest looking elsewhere for the bonding you mention. Your parents, like you, may not be equipped to easily understand and handle their own emotions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    So I am a deeply repressed guy. I don't really have anybody to talk to and there are big chunks of my personality - some of which are fundamental to the composition of my identity - that I can't share with others. It is a constant internal battle deciding how much to compromise with what other people expect of me, and how I want to be myself. It gets worse because in many ways, I also don't know "how I want to be". What reasons do I have to exist at all? Why am I here? Do I know?
    That is the most difficult part of the mask charade: clinging desperately to a calm exterior to the point where you've forgotten what lies beneath and half of the people you know know the exterior and half know the interior, with the result being you don't know how to act.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    (Sorry if this sounds a bit broody. I'm mainly upset because I'm not doing well with my work again. It's hard to feel motivated to do something insanely boring.)
    This is the last place you need to apologize for sharing. It is good that you have chosen to challenge yourself while you continue your less challenging work.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    I'm generally a happy person, but when something is giving me trouble I generally tend to open up to people about it and the emotions I'm feeling are very easy to read.

    The two main emotions I never really open up to people about are stress and fear of the future. Stress because I know I'm the source of that problem, and fear of the future because I can never really find assurance from people that things in life won't pass me by since you can't really predict the future.

    I think the emotions people can read in me easiest are love and anger.

    I do get sad but I only cry on special occasions. Otherwise it's hard to tell when I feel sad.
    I think it is natural to conceal anxiety, especially relating to those things most out of our control (namely, the future).

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    This is something that I can only help myself with. It is what it is.
    It is what it is from your point of view. You do know the most about yourself and your struggle is unique to you, but I'm sure there are some resources to be used to better know how to deal with emotion. Whether that means going to another or reading.

  7. #27
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    It is what it is from your point of view. You do know the most about yourself and your struggle is unique to you, but I'm sure there are some resources to be used to better know how to deal with emotion. Whether that means going to another or reading.
    I have my methods and I do the best that I can. I also know my limitations.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I have my methods and I do the best that I can. I also know my limitations.
    Very true.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    Emotional repression (though one could argue we mean the more active suppression) is the daily, and eventually long-term, pushing down, dismissing, and/or compartmentalizing of emotions, whether pleasant or unpleasant (though, obviously they tend to be unpleasant).

    I think the majority of the people responding are referring to the latter.
    The correct word for this is supression of emotion. I know popular culture confuses repression and supression, just as popular culture confuses empathy and sympathy, but this is because popular culture is uneducated.

    If we take our orientation only from popular culture, we get lost. And worse, we don't know we are lost, and we have the illusion we know what we are saying.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstrazz View Post
    I think we need to make the distinction between psychological repression (according to Freud) and emotional repression. From what I've come to understand, psychological repression, in the way you are using it, is the subconscious repressing of memories and emotions from traumatic or otherwise trying times, usually in ones youth, as a means of defense. Emotional repression (though one could argue we mean the more active suppression) is the daily, and eventually long-term, pushing down, dismissing, and/or compartmentalizing of emotions, whether pleasant or unpleasant (though, obviously they tend to be unpleasant).

    I think the majority of the people responding are referring to the latter.
    But we should also talk about the former.
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