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  1. #1
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Default ISTJs & Feelings

    I don't know if this quality goes across all ISTJs or with just the one that I know...but...

    if an ISTJ ever decides on something by their "feelings" instead of "thinking", do they feel like they have no self control? If so, why is that?

  2. #2
    Senior Member dnivera's Avatar
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    Yes. If I make an impulse decision - say I decide to get a cream puff instead of a chocolate biscotti - I often feel regret. I'd rather spend some time deliberating beforehand. I'd scold myself for not making a better decision and beat myself up for having to suffer the consequences.
    Si>Ti>Te>Ne>Fe>Ni>Fi>Se

    Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%
    Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%
    Thinking (T) 61.29% Feeling (F) 38.71%
    Judging (J) 71.88% Perceiving (P) 28.13%

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnivera View Post
    Yes. If I make an impulse decision - say I decide to get a cream puff instead of a chocolate biscotti - I often feel regret. I'd rather spend some time deliberating beforehand. I'd scold myself for not making a better decision and beat myself up for having to suffer the consequences.
    It's funny you focused on sensory-related choices.

    What about relational ones, such as when you feel angry with someone?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    Senior Member dnivera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It's funny you focused on sensory-related choices.

    What about relational ones, such as when you feel angry with someone?
    Hmm. Do I feel out of control when that happens? Yes, because that behavior was unpredicted. It wasn't part of the "itinerary" to have an argument or have our day ruined by anger.
    Are fights ever planned or scheduled? No, and that makes me feel out of control because the rest of my day gets thrown off-kilter.
    Si>Ti>Te>Ne>Fe>Ni>Fi>Se

    Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%
    Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%
    Thinking (T) 61.29% Feeling (F) 38.71%
    Judging (J) 71.88% Perceiving (P) 28.13%

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    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?
    Last edited by 2XtremeENFP; 08-01-2008 at 10:06 AM. Reason: clarification

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    Senior Member aguanile's Avatar
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    I hate! making feelings-based decisions and I generally regret it afterwards

  7. #7
    Senior Member dnivera's Avatar
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    Depends on how important the decision is to the ISTJ.

    A good way to show an ISTJ that it's OK to make decisions based on feelings is by showing them that over-thinking decisions, without listening to your gut, can have negative consequences. For example, an ISTJ pre-med was flunking all of his classes and compromising his health but still wouldn't change majors so he wouldn't disappoint his parents' expectations of becoming a doctor. He pursued this goal even though everything else suffered.
    Si>Ti>Te>Ne>Fe>Ni>Fi>Se

    Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%
    Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%
    Thinking (T) 61.29% Feeling (F) 38.71%
    Judging (J) 71.88% Perceiving (P) 28.13%

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnivera View Post
    Depends on how important the decision is to the ISTJ.

    A good way to show an ISTJ that it's OK to make decisions based on feelings is by showing them that over-thinking decisions, without listening to your gut, can have negative consequences. For example, an ISTJ pre-med was flunking all of his classes and compromising his health but still wouldn't change majors so he wouldn't disappoint his parents' expectations of becoming a doctor. He pursued this goal even though everything else suffered.
    But don't you still then just approach it through Thinking again?

    IOW, the ISTJ is still thinking through things. Logically, if one's health suffers enough, then it becomes more logical to suffer the parents disappointment than to kill oneself through overwork. Does the ISTJ approach it with logic, in that sort of way, rather than still "feeling" it? The logic is still making the decision, except the "gut" is now credited as a valid source of information that must be taken into account rather than viewed suspiciously.

    I'm just curious, this is a very insightful thread.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Senior Member dnivera's Avatar
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    Yup, I agree it's still thinking in this case.

    Maybe F is just really foreign to me!
    Si>Ti>Te>Ne>Fe>Ni>Fi>Se

    Introverted (I) 60% Extroverted (E) 40%
    Sensing (S) 56.25% Intuitive (N) 43.75%
    Thinking (T) 61.29% Feeling (F) 38.71%
    Judging (J) 71.88% Perceiving (P) 28.13%

  10. #10

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    Very interesting! My husband is ISTJ. After 16 years of marriage, only now am I beginning to understand him.

    He definitely thinks through any decision he makes (and re-thinks, and scrutinizes...)

    It takes him several months to decide on a car. He will research magazines, internet, in person, etc. He will ultimately know more about a vehicle than the salesperson does. Boy, does he beat himself up if every step isn't planned and executed very precisely.
    "People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." ~Soren Kierkegaard

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