[ESFJ] ESFJ stereotypes... what are they?

[RiftsWRX]

I'm curious. I hear there are a lot of preconceived notions about ESFJs. I've asked about some of them, and I simply don't agree with them (in my case).

So I'd love to have a conversation about what this stigma is, and understand what they are, and where they are based from.

Best,

 

[prplchknz]

ok you're a mom you wear a pink apron you host large parties you love kids everything has to be coordinated oh and you look like a 50s housewife

 

[Kullervo]

The Good: Hot blonde who doesn't mind housework and wants a family
The Bad: Brainless gossip obsessed with Facebook, a terrible driver (this also applies to ENFJ)

 

[Kullervo]

ok you're a mom you wear a pink apron you host large parties you love kids everything has to be coordinated oh and you look like a 50s housewife

100% my mum except she gets servants to do the cleaning lol

 

[HongDou]

The main negative one is that they can't think for themselves.

 

[Kullervo]

The main negative one is that they can't think for themselves.

I like balance, females who can think but aren't going to argue and bitch all the time.

ENTP and ENFP girls are hot as fuck to me.

Least hot...INFJs (losers obsessed with "misogyny"), and ES types

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

The main negative one is that they can't think for themselves.

Oh lawd.

 

[RiftsWRX]

Well, I guess that squashes the Ventrilo thought about tons of stereotypes against me.

Thanks for those who contributed!

 

[Such Irony]

 

[prplchknz]

broken photo =./= esfj
broken photo = infp 4w5

 

[Such Irony]

broken photo =./= esfj
broken photo = infp 4w5

I fixed it now.

 

[prplchknz]

I fixed it now.

oh ok.

 

[meowington]

I know 3 (certain) ESFJs well. All females. My mom, the previous HR manager, the current HR manager.
Some traits they all share are :

-image conscious
-most socially engaged and connected of all types (people oriented)
-talkative
-slightly to very judgemental, particulary about things or people who don't conform
-not always sincere
-very good at reading other people obviously (Fe)
-take lots of initiative
-practice over theory
-not very intuitive or technical
-Moody and chaotic inner life, outwardly very balanced

 

[Haven]

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-sj-guardhouse/35069-esfj-hate-thread.html

 

[RiftsWRX]

I know 3 (certain) ESFJs well. All females. My mom, the previous HR manager, the current HR manager.
Some traits they all share are :

-image conscious
-most socially engaged and connected of all types (people oriented)
-talkative
-slightly to very judgemental, particulary about things or people who don't conform
-not always sincere
-very good at reading other people obviously (Fe)
-take lots of initiative
-practice over theory
-not very intuitive or technical
-Moody and chaotic inner life, outwardly very balanced

Now see, for the most part... this is true.

 

[Cimarron]

Now see, for the most part... this is true.

Also, SFJs are known to love "playing the martyr."

 

[RiftsWRX]

Also, SFJs are known to love "playing the martyr."

See... now that I'd disagree with.

I was in a relationship with an ISFJ, and she was so damn proud (she's an E3) that she could NEVER ask for help or admit defeat on anything. She'd beat her self up in private (or with trusted people like me). She HATED it when people would draw attention to her failures or short comings.

Me, it's only been recently (at the behest of my therapist) that she encourage me to share my story and seek community to help work through the decades of repressed emotions and feelings that have trashed me; leaving me broken, where I am today. So, perhaps had I been the martyr, vomiting my life on everyone for years, I'd be in better shape then I am today.

A E4 is much more prone to guilt people into supporting them over their woes IMO.

 

[baccheion]

Stereotypes that I've experienced as being true:

• Too sensitive given their propensity for pushing their way into people's lives trying to tell them how to run it (apart from the "who do you think you are telling people what to do" that comes to mind, I always wonder how they expect to do that and not have the other person lash out or try to distance themselves)
• Obsessed with everyone being well-mannered, polite, nice, and inclusive of them (everything makes them feel left out), but they tend to be vulgar, loud, and pushy with their beliefs (as though they are universal and everyone should subscribe to them)
• Close-minded and anti-innovation/creativity. Everything should be done in a specific way, which just so happens to be the way things were done before.
• Tendency to be bothered by and complain about every little thing and to always be looking for something to complain about
• Can be full of it, annoying, needy, and judgmental

Positives:

• The extroversion thing

They are supposedly good at reading people, but they are always way off as it relates to me. It's like I'm not even there, and all they see are what others have said and the stereotypes/cliches associated with my ethnicity, introversion, current level of popularity, accomplishments, job title, etc. I clash the most with the J aspect of their personality.

 

[Showbread]

See... now that I'd disagree with.

I was in a relationship with an ISFJ, and she was so damn proud (she's an E3) that she could NEVER ask for help or admit defeat on anything. She'd beat her self up in private (or with trusted people like me). She HATED it when people would draw attention to her failures or short comings.

I also know an ISFJ similar to this, she however is a 6.

I am a very verbal processor. I need to talk through my feelings, or I feel like I am going to explode. To some this may feel like playing the martyr, or complaining for the sake of sympathy or attention. But, that's really not the case. I just need talk things through because if I let myself internally ruminate on them for too long they stop making sense.

 

[Lady_X]

i think they rock.

i can have some major fe/fi clashes with them but overall i think they're highly impressive. just very together and take charge people. i admire their initiative.
and their funny ne shit makes me happy and they always seem a lil bit crazy which i love.