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  1. #81
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    It sounds like you were always enthusiastic about jumping on random opportunities and not seeing them in terms of how much work they meant, because you were so "into it" that it didn't matter to you... and she might well have been afraid that she would be the one left with the worry long after you'd had your quickly forgotten initial fun. That part might be an actual issue for you.
    I will own that 100%!! It's that ENFP zest for life - drove her nuts even though she LOVED it in the beginning...

    May I also say that I am an ENFP who shows up on time, manages money well, etc. A responsible version - so she can't have been worried in that department.

  2. #82
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    they all look like ugly betty to me.

  3. #83
    Member illume's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    We tried to reconcile and then I found out she was cheating. That was it for me. She ended up "downgrading" (lol) to someone who is totally unattractive and into drugs and alcohol. However, she continues to call, text, and email me that she loves me and can't get over her feelings for me. I just don't get it.
    Hey now.... Don't forget that ISFJ propensity to latch onto losers and bums. They love to "fix" broken people....It substantiates their whole doormat "thing". Maybe you were just too damn normal. Hrrummmpfff. :confused:

  4. #84
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    i ever had an unhealthy ISFJ as a teacher before.

    my school has this course survey thing, and we took it after one semester. next semester he walks in and starts whining about the negative comments he got for the survey, and how he never has gotten so low before, how he felt disappointed and betrayed by the class, how he thought he was a good teacher etc

    he refused to teach at all for a few lessons afterward, and instead got students to teach, because we "thought we are too good for him". right.

    thank goodness i don't see him around anymore.

  5. #85
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    Passive aggressive, stuck on the past, and stubbornly refusing to change their situation. Helps other people out of a desire to forget their own problems.

  6. #86
    Member INTPatricia's Avatar
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    Default isfj "less majic moments" lol...how well I know

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    • Subtle guilt trips through self-victimization
    • Actively being a paragon of virtue, to use as leverage later ("If I'm perfect, then you have no excuse to be upset with me.")
    • Generally passive-aggressive (occasionally downright aggressive if they feel justified or people they love are threatened)
    • Self-pity/withdrawal/self-castigation
    • Mentally able to block out things they don't want to address (denial and repression)
    • Can keep record of wrongs easily
    • Prone to wild speculation when things are forced outside the box (i.e., weak N abilities)


    Those are the things I generally have experienced.
    I have actual examples of these from a beloved isfj...

    "subtle guilt trips"

    (well, ANY kind of guilt trip has this effect upon an intp: :yim_rolling_on_the_::rolli:

    "Please have some mercy on me...because if you only knew what I was going through ... you would understand...

    (yikes)" ...hey...I never minimized what you were going through...I just asked you to stay in touch you goofball.:rolli:

    "Don't be mad at me, person X is yelling at me, person Y is guilting me, person Z is dying; and I had to walk 3 miles each way just to get xyz done"

    (well, Abe Lincoln had nuthin' on you...I'll write in your name on the next Presidential ballot) but for now, you are still on my Sh$%List...back to my point...you didn't send an email for 10 days, I don't care if you were in India..."

    See, an intp sticks with the subject, relentlessly until it is resolved...regardless of the other person's discomfort...we will patiently await outside the restroom to pick it back up to finish...this doesn't work for the isfj...especially if they fear they were wrong. They want forgiveness, we want unconditional surrender. They assume we will punish them but we won't...we will simply shrug and say, "now you know why I was mad, don't let it happen again"...

    "Can keep record of wrongs easily" ...

    A good thing to ask the isfj is: "oh, yeah, and what else did X do?":steam: Let them answer: blah, blah, blah: "well, he has a good heart, but a,b,c and x,y,z...but it's okay" (then it get's dropped")

    "prone to wild speculation"..."yeah...either that or I was kidnapped by al Qaeda...which is more likely" (which makes him laugh...showing him the odds of his guess being correct are minimal at best) (once the other side of their brain gets to hear their wacky idea...it gets dropped)

    i am crazy about isfj's by the way!

  7. #87
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPatricia View Post
    A good thing to ask the isfj is: "oh, yeah, and what else did X do?":steam: Let them answer: blah, blah, blah: "well, he has a good heart, but a,b,c and x,y,z...but it's okay" (then it get's dropped")
    Clever.

  8. #88
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Aren't the evil ISFJ's equivalent to the ISTJ's? I always thought Recoleta was a sweet ISFJ but then I saw her evil ISTJ side.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    Are they particularly skilled at guilt trips? Underhanded manipulation?

    What are their defenses and tactics of choice when they want attention, control, etc.?

    thanks!
    basically mike tyson

  10. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    • Subtle guilt trips through self-victimization
    • Actively being a paragon of virtue, to use as leverage later ("If I'm perfect, then you have no excuse to be upset with me.")
    • Generally passive-aggressive (occasionally downright aggressive if they feel justified or people they love are threatened)
    • Self-pity/withdrawal/self-castigation
    • Mentally able to block out things they don't want to address (denial and repression)
    • Can keep record of wrongs easily
    • Prone to wild speculation when things are forced outside the box (i.e., weak N abilities)


    Those are the things I generally have experienced.

    This is a great list, but to it I would add "can be insanely unforgiving beyond reason over relatively minor slights."

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