User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 104

  1. #51
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Do you mean that you interested in helping your ISFJ develop a certain area or did you mean yourself?




    Thanks. If I can help those who actually want to improve their relationships with ISFJ's ( because ISFJ's are common in society) then I'd like to try. I realize that some people are just here to vent frustration though and that's okay. I'm still trying to separate who seems to genuinely want help and who just wants to vent.
    I just dropped in to answer the OP, Hmm. Observations without any real analysing.

    And I wouldn't dream of trying to help her unless she indicated that she wanted help. I've dropped a few gentle hints but see no interest on her part. Soooooo. We'll do lunch now and then, I suppose, and probably not have a very deep relationship.

    I can't say that she disturbs me, but there is a certain caution there for me regarding how genuine she is about her feelings.

    Since you asked, there is another. An online acquaintance. I'd like some tips on the best way to interact with her. She is one of the moderators and is pretty aggressive about running things her way.

    She's fun and funny, easily offended, bright and full of surprises - both pleasant and unpleasant.

    I don't think in this particular forum it would be wise to do any hint of confrontation. It's a senior citizen forum. People are set in their ways and most of them seem to be ISTJs. And they also tend to be some touchy about their values and ideas.

    She seems to need a tremendous amount of praise and is quick to jump in and "fix" however she sees fit.

    So far, I've been complimenting her on her very clever posts and participating in her playfulness. And the things I see which strike a jarring chord with me I've been overlooking.

    I think I just answered my own question. I'm wondering whether my patience will fail and at what point it will be difficult to maintain my membership. That's a sure sign that I will either speak my mind or leave.

    Ideas?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #52
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    Finally nailed down my ex gf's type. Thanks for the help.
    It's difficult for me to imagine how someone could blame an uninvolved person for something. Do you have any examples you could share?

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I just dropped in to answer the OP, Hmm. Observations without any real analysing.

    And I wouldn't dream of trying to help her unless she indicated that she wanted help. I've dropped a few gentle hints but see no interest on her part. Soooooo. We'll do lunch now and then, I suppose, and probably not have a very deep relationship.

    I can't say that she disturbs me, but there is a certain caution there for me regarding how genuine she is about her feelings.
    I understand. You want her genuine support. In the moment.

    Tell her that and see what happens. If she's a real friend she will consider it, and imo, it would be worth pushing it for you to get some real answers.

    Since you asked, there is another. An online acquaintance. I'd like some tips on the best way to interact with her. She is one of the moderators and is pretty aggressive about running things her way.

    She's fun and funny, easily offended, bright and full of surprises - both pleasant and unpleasant.

    I don't think in this particular forum it would be wise to do any hint of confrontation. It's a senior citizen forum. People are set in their ways and most of them seem to be ISTJs. And they also tend to be some touchy about their values and ideas.

    She seems to need a tremendous amount of praise and is quick to jump in and "fix" however she sees fit.

    So far, I've been complimenting her on her very clever posts and participating in her playfulness. And the things I see which strike a jarring chord with me I've been overlooking.

    I think I just answered my own question. I'm wondering whether my patience will fail and at what point it will be difficult to maintain my membership. That's a sure sign that I will either speak my mind or leave.

    Ideas?
    Ahh. Because there is no real regulation of these things, disagreeing too much with a moderator will get you in deep doo-doo no matter what forum you are on, or what type, or gender the mod is. lol

    That's about all I can say to that. I'm sorry. :S

  3. #53
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTx
    Posts
    10,552

    Default

    Was a joke, Hmm.

  4. #54
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Oh hahahahaha

    Silly boy

  5. #55
    Widdles in your cream.
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    577

    Default

    You wouldn't mind me taking the opportunity to grab a few ISFJ tips, would you? I've known her for four years now, but after reading the ISFJ profile I didn't realise how little I know about her, emotionally; I didn't realise she had such an intense and underlying emotionality. *facepalm*

    Okay. So I'm going to confess my feelings for her. I know she feels the same way, but is too shy to express herself. We live relatively far away (60 miles or so) but that's fine for me, but I'm not sure about her. Anyway, how would you suggest I go about telling her? Would meeting up and telling her face-to-face be intimidating, or maybe a simple confessional kiss (too aggressive?). I thought sending an e-mail would do, as it isn't too direct and it gives her time to repond in her own time, but than I figured it would be too impersonal. IM is out of the question, because 1) It puts pressure on her to respond immediately and 2) There's never a window of opportunity, and I'm fairly good at sniffing for one.

    I'm totally hopeless at this stuff. Many thanks in advance.
    Um, yeah.

  6. #56
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    ^ Hrm. I think I need more information.

    Were you sure before you read the ISFJ description that she felt the same about you?

  7. #57
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Thanks, Hmm. I'll give the suggestion a try. Nothing to lose except harmony!

    In the second case I think the ISTJ's rut and the jangling of my sensibilities will make my decision for me!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #58
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Good luck, Anja!

  9. #59
    Senior Member ColonelGadaafi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    Si
    Socionics
    ESTP
    Posts
    774

    Default

    Unhealthy ISFJ's can be best described as ferreting emotional nagging types. Annoying , snooping, emotionally sensitive, and neatness facists. My mother is an ISFJ, and she drives me nuts with her inane perfectionism, incessantly correcting everything i do that she deems "improper" and unacceptble to her standards, she will even go as far as telling me how to tie my shoe laces. While im well aware that she does it only because she sincerely thinks it's for my "best" , it can be overbearing at times.
    "Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us. Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations."

  10. #60
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Alot of this sounds like my ISFJ friend, the self sacrificing, refusing to speak up when people are taking advantage, stuff like that.

    However the most unhealthy thing I have seen is that she is stuck in the past, continuously mourning a long forgotten past that is never coming back, and continuing to be a martyr to a love long buried. (one that from my understanding did not break down completely due to her, and yet she takes 100% of the blame onto herself)

    I can get stuck in the past but I can make myself bounce out by reminding myself that nothing will ever turn back time, I feel that whenever I am trying to lift her out of that negative state or rememberence I am embarking on an impossible task because absolutely nothing I have ever said has ever helped her let go of that.

    Also she is extremely paranoid about being cheated on, it consumes her current relationship. She is sure that he will cheat, she has plenty of reason to believe this of course but her attitude is to remain the nice one, to not realy say anything, to continue to self sacrifice and take care of all his little needs, to keep him fed and content, so that when he does cheat (no way will he not as far as she is concerned) she can then be the "nice one" and in no way to blame for the break up of the relationship.
    Yes...the past. ISFJ's live looking through a rear view mirror. The present and future are defined by an accumulation of clearly remembered and judged past insults. They are so good at details and do everything right out of service to the past. They are easy to love and great to have around as long as you remember common kindness and are simply constantly grateful for their loyal diligence. If neglected, their sulking martyrdom will sneak in and dominate the relationship.

Similar Threads

  1. [INTJ] What does an unhealthy INTJ look like?
    By KarenParker in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 184
    Last Post: 07-04-2017, 03:03 AM
  2. [ENTP] What does an unhealthy ENTP look like (if there's even such a thing)?
    By Amethyst in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 03-18-2017, 06:57 PM
  3. [INFP] What does an unhealthy INFP look like?
    By KarenParker in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 252
    Last Post: 12-19-2016, 12:16 PM
  4. [ESFP] What does an unhealthy ESFP look like?
    By KarenParker in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: 02-15-2014, 04:47 PM
  5. [ENFP] What does an UNhealthy ENFP look like?
    By Betty Blue in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 07-12-2010, 02:19 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO