[MBTI General] STJs + FPs

[EJCC]

Was going to post this about TJs + FPs generally, but didn't want the conversation to turn into an INTJ/ENFP bitchfest, so I'm asking my fellow low-drama STJs about it instead.

My question is: If/when you are drawn to FPs, do you have any theories as to why?

My current theory is that we find their Fi expression to be cathartic, somehow. Since we're so unwilling to express that most of the time.


Edit: FPs, feel free to post your view as well -- be it why you're drawn to STJs, or why STJs are drawn to you.

 

[Amargith]

*subscribed*

 

[EJCC]

*subscribed*

Stop encouraging that behavior!!

 

[Abbey]

I'm not an STJ but I am an INFP attracted to TJs, probably because they are so demanding and have that sense of authority that I admire. They are everything I'm not.

 

[Amargith]

Stop encouraging that behavior!!

Subscribing?

 

[Showbread]

Interesting... I am neither an STJ or an FP. But, on behalf of my INFP roommate I can say the attraction goes both ways. She loves TJs, particularly STJs. She's really drawn to objectivity and confidence. It makes her feel secure.

 

[EJCC]

Subscribing?

Ninja-ing.

Interesting... I am neither an STJ or an FP. But, on behalf of my INFP roommate I can say the attraction goes both ways. She loves TJs, particularly STJs. She's really drawn to objectivity and confidence. It makes her feel secure.

Love that! Rings true with me. I'd like to think that's part of my appeal as well

I'm not an STJ but I am an INFP attracted to TJs, probably because they are so demanding and have that sense of authority that I admire. They are everything I'm not.

Thanks for the input. I should have mentioned in the OP that I welcome the opposite input. I'll edit it after this post.

Interesting that their demanding nature is something you appreciate. I'd heard that FPs like the stability and calm we bring to friendships and relationships -- and I've also heard that our restrained nature is something they find intriguing. A treasure chest they can unlock over time. You hear more about that with NTJs, but I'm sure it would still be the case with STJs. The difference would be that we appear to be holding less in.

 

[five sounds]

i love my STJ friends because they're straightforward and no bullshit. they have no problem telling me if they think whatever i'm doing is stupid. love em so much for it.

 

[Amargith]

Ninja-ing.

....and you think reprimanding is...conducive to getting FPs to ninja less from TJs?


Interesting logic.

Besides, when I posted it was an OP addressing TJs...all I did was indicate my interest in reading those responses, while staying out of the way


I'm a fan of TJs - when they're yelling at someone else, that is. Preferably someone who deserved it
And yes, the inherent need to structure and plan your life in order to navigate it means we get to be part of your little peaceful bubble and still see the world. That is pretty epic

 

[LadyLazarus]

As an ISFP, what I love best about my ISTJ sister is her ability to be a reasonable person, she can be very set in her ways sometimes but I like that if I make the effort to present her with a logical argument, she is willing to compromise or reason.I also like her steady nature, I feel like she's great to have around during a crisis because while I'm busy freaking out she'll come up with a solution.

I feel like what attracts me to STJ's and Te users in general is their grounded nature and ability to be logical about things.
I like that we both share a grounded/ realistic world view, despite my being more fanciful overall, therefore we're able to meet each other in the middle a lot.Their practical nature I feel also works well in tandem with my fanciful nature as we balance each other out in that respect.

 

[EJCC]

....and you think reprimanding is...conducive to getting FPs to ninja less from TJs?


Interesting logic.

It was banter -- logic did not apply! There was a whole new set of rulez.

Besides, when I posted it was an OP addressing TJs...all I did was indicate my interest in reading those responses, while staying out of the way

TBH my initial reprimand was misinterpreting your ninja smiley as "oh look, it's going to be just like those ENFP/INTJ threads -- it's only a matter of time". Like the popcorn smiley or something. Looks like I got that one wrong

I'm a fan of TJs - when they're yelling at someone else, that is. Preferably someone who deserved it

Always. :cop:

And yes, the inherent need to structure and plan your life in order to navigate it means we get to be part of your little peaceful bubble and still see the world. That is pretty epic

Aw. I hadn't even thought about it that way. Like getting to know someone epic and powerful who lives in this huge castle -- but still having the freedom to come and go as you please.

 

[Amargith]

There is only one answer to this:




Oh and 'well duh!'

 

[Qlip]

I haven't had the pleasure to spend a lot of time with any STJs. The ones that have popped out as people to me have a kind of visceral quality, are straightforward, and tend to be a little punky. Maybe you'd describe 'em as counterphobic 6 STJs? I dig it, and I wouldn't mind finding out more someday.

 

[Thalassa]

I love a lot of STJs but it ultimately depends on the individual variable components of their Si/Fi how well we get along. For example I admire you, EJCC, but despised this one boss I had, he was just a petty and mean ESTJ.

I have this ISTJ conservative friend from high school who is annoyingly conservative like want to rip my face off sometimes when I read his posts...but he's actually good to talk to, he's a very educated ISTJ and he stays fairly even handed in debates, and he acquiesces points I would never expected, and is full of facts, and he's not condescending towards me, just rigid in his beliefs. If he happened to be liberal we'd probably be best friends.

My grandfather was ofc ISTJ, and JTG1984 is ISTJ and we actually got along really well, for a time, especially considering the amount of time we spent talking together was pretty intense...of course, now we don't speak, but that doesn't erase the fact that we were able to tolerate and enjoy each other's company over a span of about a year and a half, many times literally being in contact all day long. I don't know how much that is related to function.

 

[Thalassa]

[MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] having structure brought in to me like a gift is wonderful, as long as the person isn't invasive or nasty about it.

Like my ESTJ step grandmother would act like it was a crime to leave shoes in the living room, she was imbalanced in extroversion or something, my ISTJ grandfather would even get annoyed with her snatching his tea glass away sometimes, it was like she was on speed but she wasn't...

When it's more subtle it's very nice. I can live in a world that has been structured by someone else as long as they are not acting like a drill sergeant.

 

[Amargith]

(S)TJs should stick to managing obstacles that are objects and situations - not people. That's where they are a sight to behold

 

[Thalassa]

(S)TJs should stick to managing obstacles that are objects and situations - not people. That's where they are a sight to behold

Yeah later in life I came to the conclusion that she just needed a career. So did she. She was younger than my grandfather, like 38 when she married him. She went to school in her 40s and worked after that.

Of course she had other issues too, and was court ordered to a therapist when I was about 20.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

I love a lot of STJs but it ultimately depends on the individual variable components of their Si/Fi how well we get along. For example I admire you, EJCC, but despised this one boss I had, he was just a petty and mean ESTJ.

I have this ISTJ conservative friend from high school who is annoyingly conservative like want to rip my face off sometimes when I read his posts...but he's actually good to talk to, he's a very educated ISTJ and he stays fairly even handed in debates, and he acquiesces points I would never expected, and is full of facts, and he's not condescending towards me, just rigid in his beliefs. If he happened to be liberal we'd probably be best friends.

Same for me. The ISTJ in my life is terrible for talking about politics, since we don't agree. In an exasperated angry tone, she'll say, "Republicans are bad," and treat me as if I'm so stupid for not completely agreeing with that and not understanding that I am neither a Democrat or Republican. But that's just one ISTJ...When we share a hobby, it's fun. She enjoys (at least I think she enjoys it, otherwise she'd stop) advising me on improving at my hobby/everything I do, which is helpful. When I make artsy crafty shit, she likes it.

I enjoy the ESTJ in my life, more broad minded and closer to my plane of thought. We connect best talking about morality. We both have issues with various types of cartoon animals speaking to each other (the cow talking to the pig) and agree that it's satanic. She seems to like my theories about the bible. We can both be very judgy about the behavior of others, not in terms of interacting/socializing, but how they live and plan their lives (or fail to).

Sorry EJCC, you were asking for STJ's opinions, but wanted to chime in.

 

[EJCC]

Just realized that I could, in fact, summon people here. So:
[MENTION=9913]captain curmudgeon[/MENTION] [MENTION=4644]Habba[/MENTION] (still around?) [MENTION=15246]SD45T-2[/MENTION] [MENTION=10780]Patches[/MENTION] [MENTION=15167]The Iron Giant[/MENTION] [MENTION=5637]d@v3[/MENTION] [MENTION=4883]Cimarron[/MENTION]

Ugh what did Stephen change his username to again??
Edit: Did not realize Stephen and The Iron Giant were the same person...

 

[Thalassa]

Same for me. The ISTJ in my life is terrible for talking about politics, since we don't agree. In an exasperated angry tone, she'll say, "Republicans are bad," and treat me as if I'm so stupid for not completely agreeing with that and not understanding that I am neither a Democrat or Republican. But that's just one ISTJ...When we share a hobby, it's fun. She enjoys (at least I think she enjoys it, otherwise she'd stop) advising me on improving at my hobby/everything I do, which is helpful. When I make artsy crafty shit, she likes it.

I enjoy the ESTJ in my life, more broad minded and closer to my plane of thought. We connect best talking about morality. We both have issues with various types of cartoon animals speaking to each other (the cow talking to the pig) and agree that it's satanic. She seems to like my theories about the bible. We can both be very judgy about the behavior of others, not in terms of interacting/socializing, but how they live and plan their lives (or fail to).

Sorry EJCC, you were asking for STJ's opinions, but wanted to chime in.

I used to talk like your ISTJ friend in my late teens and early twenties. I am pretty sure that's Fi. Later in my twenties I began to emphasize how life experience and education and upbringing relate to political and moral choices, and am therefore a lot more understanding and actually hate that kind of blind liberal dogmatism now. For me early on I just couldn't fathom my gay bashing grandfather, and other aspects of the current Republican party, but I had interestingly enough considered myself a Republican until I was twelve, and learned so much about the history of the parties that I would never make such a childish declaration now.

Lol my ESFJ ex thought talking animals were satanic. Sorry. I find it hilarious.

Yeah um JTG was more conservative in some ways but I found he and I actually agreed on many major moral issues, including environmental concerns and how people need to be stricter parents...I think it's all in the Si Fi. He was raised in a very liberal place...where as my annoyingly conservative ISTJ high school friend was raised in the South, joined the military, and now lives in basically what looks like a neo plantation house in the South with his wife.