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Thread: STJs + FPs

  1. #71
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  2. #72
    Glamour puss with a tan Raffaella's Avatar
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    I've had a lot of friendships with ISTJs and I really can only sum it up to this:

    Trap the NFP,
    with your integrity,
    poison the NFP,
    with your rigidity


    ISTJs are... why do I even begin? You'll never have a friend like an ISTJ, their loyalty and integrity is unmatched in any other type and therefore a strong source of relief for NFPs. They're surprising sensitive and remarkably mature and I love that they're the first to call out bullshit and insensitivity (like the ISTJ I worked with who snapped at another colleague for laughing callously at a recent death just because she accurately predicted it, the colleague is a bully and only the ISTJ could put her in her place even though the ISTJ was hierarchically below her). In their younger years, they can obnoxious and insufferable with their need to do everything in a certain way however in their older years, they're wise and thoughtful and make great mentors for NFPs.

    As for the ESTJs, it's really anima/animus on display, it's seeing your commitment and dependability and realising that you, personally, care fuck all about that shit and you're the biggest flake and how you wish you were that mature that you could honour all commitments but fuck it, you have a new idea of a project you could hypothetically start. It's the difference between having a computer that lasts for years that only has certain features or one that has multiple functions that works irregularly ("I'm not in the mood"). Really, which would you prefer? I can't imagine living in a world where I'm so damn good at networking and fulfilling my needs and beating everyone at everything not through the use of creativity but because I'm so pragmatic, I recognise what I need while everyone is still reading the brochure. It must be so nice never to read into intentions and get shit done (stupid term, sorry) without dwelling on the some phrase your friend used that deep disturbed you.

    My literature teacher in high school was an ESTJ, she spent more time criticising my work than praising it, yet at the same time when she did, it was the biggest praise you could ever get -she photocopied my essay and gave it to the class as an example of what they should aspire to write like. Compared to all my other literature teachers (even that dumbass INFP), she was by far the best because it inspired me to work harder and smarter. As such, my marks in literature were higher than my subjects (first time ever in all my high school years).
    Night is another candle

  3. #73
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeceptiveCreative View Post
    As for the ESTJs, it's really anima/animus on display, it's seeing your commitment and dependability and realising that you, personally, care fuck all about that shit and you're the biggest flake and how you wish you were that mature that you could honour all commitments but fuck it, you have a new idea of a project you could hypothetically start. It's the difference between having a computer that lasts for years that only has certain features or one that has multiple functions that works irregularly ("I'm not in the mood"). Really, which would you prefer? I can't imagine living in a world where I'm so damn good at networking and fulfilling my needs and beating everyone at everything not through the use of creativity but because I'm so pragmatic, I recognise what I need while everyone is still reading the brochure. It must be so nice never to read into intentions and get shit done (stupid term, sorry) without dwelling on the some phrase your friend used that deep disturbed you.
    It's interesting -- with NFPs, especially ENFPs, I feel like I do everything they do but to differing degrees. I get invested in projects, sometimes I'm a flake, and for SURE I dwell on those phrases sometimes.

    See "Was That Really Me?", by Naomi Quenk:

    In a variation on this theme, some ESTJs and ENTJs describe situations in which they effectively apply their usual action-oriented, logical problem solving. But later (perhaps even years later), if they are in a vulnerable state, they will recall a specific incident and beat themselves up for not being conscious of other people's feelings. One ESTJ recalled thinking, "Why did I say that to Ellen at that party five years ago? How stupid and insensitive of me!"
    In contrast, my ENFP best friend can go all-out on the Te sometimes. At times more aggressively than me! So you're right about the anima/animus thing. It can mean that we near-perfectly balance each other out. Or it can mean that we relentlessly push each other's buttons. Depends on the person.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #74
    Glamour puss with a tan Raffaella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    It's interesting -- with NFPs, especially ENFPs, I feel like I do everything they do but to differing degrees. I get invested in projects, sometimes I'm a flake, and for SURE I dwell on those phrases sometimes.

    See "Was That Really Me?", by Naomi Quenk:


    In contrast, my ENFP best friend can go all-out on the Te sometimes. At times more aggressively than me! So you're right about the anima/animus thing. It can mean that we near-perfectly balance each other out. Or it can mean that we relentlessly push each other's buttons. Depends on the person.
    I don't doubt that this happens to you and I imagine that you would experience it more painfully however I was more referring to the fact that NFPs read too much into what others say, by comparison STJs are very literal and take it as it appears. I wonder how life would be if I could see it objectively; how nice it must be to be outside of your own head. I find comfort in systematic, ends-justify-means type thinking when shit hits the fan. Like STJs the superheros for NFPs and vice versa.

    I've only recently come to realise how TJs use commitment and duty to show love and appreciation. One of the best part of things about STJ, though, is that they don't project evil intentions onto others, so my inability to see that they cared wasn't dismissed me taking advantage of them or for granted and I guess that's because, in part, you can recognise how NFPs show love.
    Night is another candle

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