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Thread: STJs + FPs

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Lol my ESFJ ex thought talking animals were satanic. Sorry. I find it hilarious.
    When I brought up the problem of talking animals to her, I was just shooting in the dark for a connection to her that didn't involve me pretending ot be interested in accounting/other boring stuff. I never until that instance thought talking animals were a problem. She seemed slightly amused and ran with the topic further than I would've, never hammering down specifics about the evilness of it, but acting like she'd always had a problem with these animals talking. It didn't feel like she was bullshitting me back. Maybe she was, but I felt validated, even though talking animals had never bothered me. Later I decided that it was what I thought about talking animals, and came up with the evidence to support the idea. Not that I plan to do anything about the talking animal problem, and it isn't talking animals I have a problem with per se, but that a cow is talking to a pig. Maybe their talkign to each other at all is a problem, like your ESFJ thinks....I have problems connecting with my ESFJ, so this could be useful information for me. I'll see if she picks up that conversation. I can't imagine it happening.

    Anyways, I guess ESTJ's can provide validation for an INFP and I like to think they aren't bullshitting me.

  2. #22
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ If the ESTJ seemed amused, then I'm not sure if they were serious. Could've been? but I dunno for certain.
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by theDarkSide View Post
    When I brought up the problem of talking animals to her, I was just shooting in the dark for a connection to her that didn't involve me pretending ot be interested in accounting/other boring stuff. I never until that instance thought talking animals were a problem. She seemed slightly amused and ran with the topic further than I would've, never hammering down specifics about the evilness of it, but acting like she'd always had a problem with these animals talking. It didn't feel like she was bullshitting me back. Maybe she was, but I felt validated, even though talking animals had never bothered me. Later I decided that it was what I thought about talking animals, and came up with the evidence to support the idea. Not that I plan to do anything about the talking animal problem, and it isn't talking animals I have a problem with per se, but that a cow is talking to a pig. Maybe their talkign to each other at all is a problem, like your ESFJ thinks....I have problems connecting with my ESFJ, so this could be useful information for me. I'll see if she picks up that conversation. I can't imagine it happening.

    Anyways, I guess ESTJ's can provide validation for an INFP and I like to think they aren't bullshitting me.
    I understand. An ISTJ made me feel validated in my irrational obsession with the 80s. Being emotionally validated in something like that is pretty much a libidinous projected fantasy for IxFPs which they are likely to find in TJs.

    Oh also for ESFJ believes in satanic animals...the belief itself isn't type related. Though maybe it's an Si association some Si types make? Or even an Ne webbed conclusion?

    The belief itself is individual, just like loving new wave.

    My ESFJ ex used to baby my love of new wave and the 80s because of his Fe, but he actually preferred punk and no wave, and 70s exploitation. What he felt kindred with was childhood nostalgia. We used to eat candy and watch Vh1 or horror movies together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ^ If the ESTJ seemed amused, then I'm not sure if they were serious. Could've been? but I dunno for certain.
    Maybe that's the enjoyment an ESTJ could get from an NFP, laughing at their ridiculousness (which is cool with me)...As far as the ISFP in the ESTJ's life, well, they play sports together. I see no connection beyond that. STJ's and NFP's share a functional stack of Fi, Ne, Te, and Si. So it seems that we might be able to connect better than an ESTJ would with an SFP. Really, the ESTJ can get into Ne type stuff with me, conspiracy theories, philosophy and all that. From my perspective, we're able to enjoy the company of each other...I love my ISFP friend, very funny and fun to be around, but somewhere, there's a missed connection. She's such a "bottom line" kind of person. Her attempts at consideration of my feelings just ticks me off. Nice that she's trying, but rather she'd stop....I'm digressing...I figure I have problems with her, the ESTJ might too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    I understand. An ISTJ made me feel validated in my irrational obsession with the 80s. Being emotionally validated in something like that is pretty much a libidinous projected fantasy for IxFPs which they are likely to find in TJs.

    Oh also for ESFJ believes in satanic animals...the belief itself isn't type related. Though maybe it's an Si association some Si types make? Or even an Ne webbed conclusion?

    The belief itself is individual, just like loving new wave.

    My ESFJ ex used to baby my love of new wave and the 80s because of his Fe, but he actually preferred punk and no wave, and 70s exploitation. What he felt kindred with was childhood nostalgia. We used to eat candy and watch Vh1 or horror movies together.
    Satanic animals? LOL! I know as someone who has a problem with cartoon characters talking that I shouldn't laugh, but it's funny!

    I miss the MTV, VH1 stuff I used to watch.

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    Quote Originally Posted by theDarkSide View Post
    Satanic animals? LOL! I know as someone who has a problem with cartoon characters talking that I shouldn't laugh, but it's funny!

    I miss the MTV, VH1 stuff I used to watch.
    He and I both watched a lot of horror movies, I was raised religious and he wasn't, so he had some interesting ideas about what constitutes evil, including talking animals and.people without sexual morals.

    I didn't openly laugh at him, he was my live in partner at the time, but I was utterly taken aback by it inwardly, in a "wow that's kinda goofy given the number of talking animal puppets in children's shows."

    He tolerated my "things" and I his, we shared horror movies and a love of music, but ultimately after I left him over his emotional problems he refused to seek help for, instead of working on himself, he decided the problem was "you don't marry men like me, you will marry a lawyer or some guy in a suit who listens to New Order" and he in fact married a scream queen type more similar to him in his love of exploitation.

    The problem wasn't us needing to be even more alike, but oh well, good luck, Godspeed, and I hope he doesn't beat his wife.

    ESFJ and I also used to watch that other channel in the '00s, another music channel, with newer music, but we liked the documentaries and rock movies on Vh1 as well as the I love the 80s series ..or maybe he just indulged me with that, so I would listen to punk with him.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I'm a fan of TJs - when they're yelling at someone else, that is. Preferably someone who deserved it
    Time to give the scenery a good chew.

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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Showbread View Post
    Interesting... I am neither an STJ or an FP. But, on behalf of my INFP roommate I can say the attraction goes both ways. She loves TJs, particularly STJs. She's really drawn to objectivity and confidence. It makes her feel secure.
    This is basically the same for me @EJCC. The higher level of confidence and (desire for) objectivity many TJs possess is very stabilizing and makes me more secure about our future. Then again I've only dated FJs, but that's where the attraction comes from I think.

    My current theory is that we find their Fi expression to be cathartic, somehow. Since we're so unwilling to express that most of the time.
    My guess is it'd be the reverse for FPs - since TJs are so unwilling it makes a lot of us want to dig deeper and see what goodies they have hidden inside.
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Just realized that I could, in fact, summon people here. So:
    @Habba (still around?)
    I've always been here.

    In this particular pairing I believe the driving force is the completion. These types are strong and confident in areas where the other is underdeveloped and unconfident. I can't speak for all ISTJs, but I believe we are often raised (or rise) without much contact to our softer sides. We fit into school (which is all about rules, schedules and being led by authority) so we rarely feel the need to change or develop. Our social skills are very much bound to situtations. We do what is approviate or expected at the given situtation. It's only at the elder age when those structures of authority no longer bind us (we are free to choose where to work, where to live and how to live) and we begin to see more complex social cues.

    For example, as a kid I didn't like drama movies at all. They were boring. Now, at an older age I find them the best and most interesting. For example, in The Walking Dead zombies do not interest me (they never have), but the dynamics between people and the moral choices makes it thrilling.

    Now, this might seem like an ideal partnership, but I beg to differ. I feel like this is a match based on fears and needs, rather than appreciation and admiration. What's that? I feel as if STJ and FP are driven towards each others because they want to learn and absord what the other person is like. "I wish I could be more social... I better hang out with more social people". While it's true that this help, these needs will be fulfilled eventually. If that happens, the relationship just lost it's main engine and needs to rely on what's left.


    In short, STJ is logical and structured. Because of that, they rarely tend to grow in social and emotional sense (they rely on established structures and are left clueless when structures are taken away). FP is the opposite. These two are drawn together because they see their weakness and want to improve themselves in the company of the other. Once these needs are fulfilled, the relationship might be heading to a crisis as there's still no common language (the other prefer structure, the other doesn't).
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  10. #30
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    I asked my husband and his first answer was "Because they're hot. And sexy."

    Then he was serious and said he doesn't think the question is the right question. That in his opinion the reason why anyone is drawn to anyone is first the sensory experience. And he expanded that to say, once you get to know someone, the things that made him be attracted to me were "good listener and supportive, loving and open to possibilities." That there are not a lot of people like me. (I think that's a compliment lol)
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    When people see some things as good,
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