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  1. #21
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    ESFJ I dated, complained that I didn't update my facebook or upload any pictures of me and her. That was something she noticed and whined about.

  2. #22
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    @Chanaynay
    if wanted her back, he should have showed it to her through his actions.
    He did, he brought her flowers, cried, and told her how he felt. And an INTP showing his raw emotions is a rare spectacle so I think they can work.

    ESFJ I dated, complained that I didn't update my facebook or upload any pictures of me and her. That was something she noticed and whined about.
    There are good ESFJs and dumb ESFJs, much like there is a dumb version of any other type. Okay dumb isn't really the right word haha, more like immature. My ENFJ mom does this when I don't get back to her Facebook posts on my wall though. I agree it can be annoying. It's just Facebook dude!
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  3. #23
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saudade View Post
    Are there even any ESFJ's on this forum?
    I think there are a few who are mistyped as something else.
    RobertCalifornia: TL thinks im black
    RobertCalifornia: shes my homegurl
    Hive: arent you
    SpankyMcfly: wait... you arent?

    thoughtlost: I am not really religious. I just like getting free stuff from churches.

  4. #24
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chanaynay View Post
    I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE

    (I like my version better - she should get a name change)
    Haha! Someone else called me Shortbread.

    To answer the actual question, I rather like INTPs. One of my good friends is an INTP. We have a rather interesting relationship and disagree about a lot of things. But, he's hilarious and despite the image he tries to project, very kind and cares deeply about his friends.

    One thing I struggle with when interacting with INTPs is the way they avoid being vulnerable and their resistance to accepting help, even when they so obviously need it. One of my biggest challenges with them is not being evasive.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

    3w2 6w7 1w2
    *Gryffindor*


  5. #25
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    I think there are a few who are mistyped as something else.
    No kidding.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Showbread View Post
    Haha! Someone else called me Shortbread.

    To answer the actual question, I rather like INTPs. One of my good friends is an INTP. We have a rather interesting relationship and disagree about a lot of things. But, he's hilarious and despite the image he tries to project, very kind and cares deeply about his friends.

    One thing I struggle with when interacting with INTPs is the way they avoid being vulnerable and their resistance to accepting help, even when they so obviously need it. One of my biggest challenges with them is not being evasive.
    Good to hear a positive account. I don't think he's projecting an image, that would be more an INTJ thing. I think it's generally the case that INTPs are kind and that they care about their friends (and, well, everyone). It's just that there are always these complaints and false accusations surrounding them that they don't give a shit. Which is quickly shown to be rubbish if you are around an INTP for even a short period of time. The only thing they can get away with saying is that INTPs are generally not very forward with compliments and feelery forms of support (like words, etc). They can also be direct (different from blunt), but in real life you have to ask for that kinda feedback. So, it's usually the case that someone tried to bait them into giving rosy compliments, and rather than doing that they just said nothing (even this is an insult, probably because the person didn't get what they wanted) or said what actually is. If you see an INTP, then you see someone always doing nice things for people (that don't involve talking), sometimes to the point that people try to take advantage of them (one way they do it is to claim that the INTP doesn't give a shit, or some other attempt at a guilt trip). They don't do it with the frequency of healthy feelers that like doing things for people, but they do it nonetheless. And it's usually unappreciated or patronized. Whatever.

    Why would someone want to intentionally be vulnerable? I think it's good to not be vulnerable and to be self-sufficient, rather than reliant on others. And that's even before all the traps and the BS that people tried to string along with any act of "kindness" they did. I honed in on this part because I notice consistently people trying to break me down until I'm needy and always at everyone else's whim. I think this is weakness and is unnecessary, and it annoys and repulses me when people try to make me this way. Seems very selfish. I also don't like what happens if I ever end up vulnerable or if I ever need someone. What a display of BS. It got so bad that even when I'd normally ask for help I just don't bother because of all the BS waiting for me, but that may not be the case for other INTPs. I think INTPs generally try to be independent and self-reliant and do things to avoid needing other people, but if they need them, then they'll ask for help. So, if they aren't asking for help, then they don't think they need it or think it would be pointless or a waste of time to seek it.

    Another thing that annoys me is that in addition to people trying to make me vulnerable or set things up so I need others or need help, they try to claim that beneath it all I'm just a soft, weak, vulnerable person that needs help and doesn't ask for it, and I'm just putting up a facade to hide my core because I'm afraid of being hurt. What kinda bullshit is this? Where do thoughts/accusations like this come from? Sounds like a feeler to me. Either way, nothing clues me in more to the fact that people just don't get me than them saying something like this. And more than saying this (and being wrong), they actually think they are helping me because they are making me look more human, as if the bullshit claims that I'm inhuman, cold, etc, are all true. INTPs try to avoid people like this like the plague, but they always seem to be around no matter where they go. Seriously, how hard is it to understand the person you are looking at?

  7. #27
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CapLawyer View Post
    Why would someone want to intentionally be vulnerable? I think it's good to not be vulnerable and to be self-sufficient, rather than reliant on others. And that's even before all the traps and the BS that people tried to string along with any act of "kindness" they did. I honed in on this part because I notice consistently people trying to break me down until I'm needy and always at everyone else's whim. I think this is weakness and is unnecessary, and it annoys and repulses me when people try to make me this way. Seems very selfish. I also don't like what happens if I ever end up vulnerable or if I ever need someone. What a display of BS. It got so bad that even when I'd normally ask for help I just don't bother because of all the BS waiting for me, but that may not be the case for other INTPs. I think INTPs generally try to be independent and self-reliant and do things to avoid needing other people, but if they need them, then they'll ask for help. So, if they aren't asking for help, then they don't think they need it or think it would be pointless or a waste of time to seek it.
    I disagree. I think there is strength in vulnerability. I honestly don't see how trust and intimacy are possible without it. I think there is something really beautiful about relationships and living in community with other people. Because if we're being honest, nobody can actually be completely self-sufficient all the time.

    Obviously, it is important to respect people's boundaries. Vulnerability is not something that should ever be forced or pressed. It sounds like you have had some really negative experiences with some very pushy and demanding people.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

    3w2 6w7 1w2
    *Gryffindor*


  8. #28
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    There seem to be different kinds of INTPs. The good ones are like @msg_v2, they have a good sense of humor and self awareness to soften their wit and they generally seem like they need a hug. Really enjoy their company.

    Other kinds have zero self awareness, always have an axe to grind, always have a point to prove, frequently are rude and can't/wont acknowledge it, claim to be self sufficient yet routinely take advantage of others. Something about them gives me chills and I try to avoid them, but they're so aggressive and always have something to prove, so they keep coming back!
    {The Diplomat}
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  9. #29
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  10. #30
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saudade View Post
    No kidding.
    Every INTP has an ESFJ inside of them, whether they like it or not...
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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