[ESFJ] Ask an ESFJ

[Showbread]

Are you ESFJs drawn masochists?

I definitely am not. I can be quite a rebel in the face of authority, especially if it's one I don't respect. My lack of control over my smart ass comments never ceases to amaze me. My response to being torn down/attacked is usually shame, which is probably my least favorite emotion next to loneliness.

Although, if it's coming from someone I know cares about me I love to banter. The smart ass comments are actually useful here.

 

[chubber]

How long does it take for ESFJs to say: "I Love you" to their SO?

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I care less about whether someone says "I Love You" to me than whether they show it in their actions. For me, this would not matter, although I would be concerned if I said it to someone, and they did not say it back. But the words "I love you" matter less to me than the intonation of them and the facial expressions/body language. That's where the truth lies.

Are ESFJs known for not saying "I love you"? Seemed more IxTx to me.

 

[Haven]

How long does it take for ESFJs to say: "I Love you" to their SO?

Not long, depends on the person though. Between 1 week and 2 months? It's weird because different people interpret it differently and I've seen a wide range of responses from "don't say that, this is serious" to "omgomgomgomg". I don't really take it that seriously.

 

[chubber]

How long does it take for ESFJ to get out of the grumpy cat phase? What is required to help it along quicker?

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

http://mudpreacher.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/god_is_light_and_love.jpg​

 

[Honor]

How long does it take for ESFJs to say: "I Love you" to their SO?

Not very long.

 

[Honor]

How long does it take for ESFJ to get out of the grumpy cat phase? What is required to help it along quicker?

Honestly, a few minutes ago, I was getting super annoyed. I realized I hadn't eaten anything yet today, so I ate something. All of my annoyance dissipated. I wouldn't mention it, but I've heard other ESFJs say the same thing.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

How do you feel if a guy you are interested in is obviously interested, but doesn't give you compliments? Do you need compliments? I don't feel like I need them, but I admit to liking them.

(I mean of course genuine compliments that mention things that you like or admire about someone... not insincere flattery.) I am reluctant to give out compliments of any kind for some reason, perhaps because I am afraid it makes me too transparent or something.

 

[Showbread]

How long does it take for ESFJ to get out of the grumpy cat phase? What is required to help it along quicker?

Haha! I definitely agree with Honor, I get really frumpy if I don't eat.

If I am grumpy with a particular person I can't be around them. Everything they do will start to annoy me and I'll nit pick and bite their head off. Space and spending time with other people helps. If I'm just having a generally crappy day I watch a sitcom like Friends or Parks and Recreation. That always helps.

But honestly, I'm not a very moody/grumpy person in general. If I am feeling pissy it's usually because I'm stressed.

 

[Honor]

Haha! I definitely agree with Honor, I get really frumpy if I don't eat.

If I am grumpy with a particular person I can't be around them. Everything they do will start to annoy me and I'll nit pick and bite their head off. Space and spending time with other people helps. If I'm just having a generally crappy day I watch a sitcom like Friends or Parks and Recreation. That always helps.

But honestly, I'm not a very moody/grumpy person in general. If I am feeling pissy it's usually because I'm stressed.

Do you find that you have strong emotional reactions to things in your life, around you, or in the world?

 

[Showbread]

Do you find that you have strong emotional reactions to things in your life, around you, or in the world?

Yeah, it depends though. I probably get upset/angry most, typically if I feel betrayed or taken advantage of. I usually also get really worked up over things I find unjust or unfair.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Yeah, it depends though. I probably get upset/angry most, typically if I feel betrayed or taken advantage of. I usually also get really worked up over things I find unjust or unfair.

What kind of things do you find unjust or unfair?

 

[Showbread]

What kind of things do you find unjust or unfair?

Racism, sexism, a lot of current immigration laws, to a degree capitalism. The fact that some of my good friends currently cannot marry their significant others because so many people, including members of my immediate family feel that their religion is threatened by marriage equality.

It's kind of funny, when I'm at school living on my own with mostly like minded people I forget that people even have different opinions on these things than I do. Then I come home for the holidays and get a rude awakening. Lets just say it's been an interesting week and a half.

 

[chubber]

How often does ESFJs lose things, day to day important things. Like credit cards etc.

 

[Showbread]

How often does ESFJs lose things, day to day important things. Like credit cards etc.

I would love to say "never," but seeing as I spent nearly 2 hours at the Department of Motor Vehicles yesterday applying for a replacement drivers license, I can't. But, I will say pretty rarely. My checkbook fell out of my purse once, so I had to replace things for that... But, I don't really count that as losing it. So, other than the lost driver's license I've never really lost anything super important before. I've never lost a cell phone either. Never understood how so many of my peers managed to do that in high school.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

What do you think of ENFJs?

 

[Standuble]

[MENTION=15392]AffirmitiveAnxiety[/MENTION] - Now that you have "taken the black" and taken up the position of INFP (a post you can never leave) what are your views of ESFJs? Do you feel you made the right decision in defending them previously?

 

[Cellmold]

[MENTION=15392]AffirmitiveAnxiety[/MENTION] - Now that you have "taken the black" and taken up the position of INFP (a post you can never leave) what are your views of ESFJs? Do you feel you made the right decision in defending them previously?

Did I defend ALL ESFJ's? Besides I think even I can admit my original issues with how people approach this theory and the stereotypes that arise, were largely based in a rather hypocritical dislike of generalising something in a harmful manner.

But with typology, there is little solid evidence, it's heuristic, so I felt more justified in my....irritation. When the shit hits the fan in someone's life, it's so...SO fucking easy to turn to a target and paint that as the issue. Sometimes it can be, but only in part and a shit never came from one source.

Let's assmume MBTI is as proven as something can be in this world without resorting to discussions of a descartian nature about reality. An ESFJ might be to blame in someones life, they might make it hell and be part of the variables that piss all over that person's well being.

But even so I'm still wary of giving into that urge to just lump aspects into a category and call it a day, it seems lazy and dangerously so.

Having said this, though, I've probably been touting the horn of indignation far too much when it comes to this subject and I'm trying to learn how to take it more in stride.

Often...people just want to vent their frustrations and as long as it doesn't lead to something tangible, I can recognise my urge to jump the gun prematurely.
Sometimes they could be right in their perception and the ills of ESFJ's could be characterised in an individual, sometimes they could be wrong in that perception and pigeonhole a person unfairly.

Sometimes we learn something, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we laugh...and sometimes the clown comes home and murders his small pet gerbil Horace.

I've lost my train of thought here...whatever..run with it.

 

[Winds of Thor]

How well might you like ENTPs?
What is your impression(s) of them?

Thanks