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Thread: Ask an ESFJ

  1. #41
    Member Sakedon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Showbread View Post
    But, what I am even more sensitive too than criticism is exclusion. I hate to be left out. It always feels intentional, even when it isn't. This is something I have really had to work on. Constantly reminding myself it isn't always personal, sometimes it just happens.
    This ^

    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    When you take a bathroom break, is it quick or do you take your time?
    Depends. If I'm watching a movie with some friends and I have to rock a piss, I'm in and out as fast as I can. Best not to rush some other things though
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  2. #42
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sakedon View Post
    Depends. If I'm watching a movie with some friends and I have to rock a piss, I'm in and out as fast as I can. Best not to rush some other things though
    So would you say, because of the fear of exclusion you go quickly to the bathroom?

  3. #43
    Junior Member Sinshred's Avatar
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    do you crying when someone say f*** off?
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  4. #44
    Member Sakedon's Avatar
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    More like fear of missing anything that might happen, movie or otherwise. Oh wait...that means yes. Lol!
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    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sakedon View Post
    More like fear of missing anything that might happen, movie or otherwise. Oh wait...that means yes. Lol!
    I've noticed how quickly ESFJs go to the bathroom. Thought nothing of it until now.

  6. #46
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sakedon View Post
    More like fear of missing anything that might happen, movie or otherwise. Oh wait...that means yes. Lol!
    Haha! I second this!
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  7. #47
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    How do you feel about being on a forum that's dominated by INxx types?

    How well do you get along with INTPs? ISTPs? (the other Ti dominant type)
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  8. #48
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    • What do you like/hate about INTPs?
    • Can you explain this annoying trend I keep noticing where ESFJs think they are better than INTPs?
    • Can you explain why I keep noticing that ESFJs sees every fault of an INTP (whether real or imagined) as insufferable and unacceptable, while thinking their own faults should be tolerated and accepted (or while thinking they are perfect and have the right point of view on everything)?
    • What's with the sex thing? I hear that after any little squabble, or after any perceived slight (usually imagined) ESFJs stop "putting out" as a retaliatory mechanism.
    • Why does everything become something that offends you or that you see as a slight?
    • Why do you say nice things to people, then talk shit about them behind their back?
    • Why are you so convinced that your way is the correct way, even when proven wrong?
    • Do you think there is something wrong with overreacting, or reacting to things so emotionally?
    • Why do you so strongly believe things should be done in a certain way, while showing very little flexibility even when you end up being wrong?
    • Why would you annoy and try to get an introvert to socialize more, or think something is wrong with them because they don't? Why would you continue doing this even after reading about and supposedly understanding who they are?
    • What personality type have you gotten along best with?
    • Do you get along with other guardians, like ISTJs?
    • Have you ever been seduced? How did it happen?
    • Is it a pain having sex with you (need lots of attention to relax, not open to new things, complain if something is even slightly off from how you think it should be done)?
    • What makes you think someone is special?
    • Where have you noticed emotional strength/resiliency?
    • What does intimacy mean to you?
    • Do you think INTPs enjoy your "showering" of Fe? Do you back off when they tell you or it becomes obvious that they are uncomfortable, or do you shower them with it to watch them become annoyed, miserable, and uncomfortable?
    • Do you have an agenda with everything you do?
    • How open-minded are you? Has anything caused you to become more open-minded (if so, then what)?
    • Why are you so controlling and sometimes rigid (especially when you know you should lay off)? What's going through your mind when you flare up and start becoming so?

  9. #49
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    @suchirony I think they're a bunch of phonies, present company excluded. Ti doms are pretty cool, we tend to see things eye to eye.

    @CapLawyer the sex thing does not apply to male esfjs
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  10. #50
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Such Irony View Post
    How do you feel about being on a forum that's dominated by INxx types?

    How well do you get along with INTPs? ISTPs? (the other Ti dominant type)
    - It can be weird, and slightly disconcerting interacting with lots of people who you know perceive you as a bit shallow and overbearing. Honestly, it can make me feel a bit self conscious. I definitely feel pressure to not act according to the stereotypes.

    - I actually get along with them quite well. One of my very good friends is an INTP. We have some very interesting conversations since he sees basically everything differently then I do. Our relationship has definitely been a learning experience for me. I love talking about feelings. It comes so naturally. He avoids it at all costs and sometimes it drives me crazy. I've just had to learn that people need different things.

    Really CapLawyer? Wouldn't it have just been easier to go to the ESFJ hate thread rather than post a long list of reasons you don't like ESFJs worded as questions? Actually, most of them aren't even questions, they're accusations with questions marks. So, just a warning, a lot of my answers are just going to be corrections of your false perceptions. I apologize in advance for the sass.

    Quote Originally Posted by CapLawyer View Post
    • What do you like/hate about INTPs?
    • - I like that they are contemplative and think deeply about things. I like that the one I know is a very good listener. I like that their slightly twisted sense of humor, and ability to be apathetic about things that really aren't that important.
      - I dislike that I have to play games to get to know them and earn their trust.
    • Can you explain this annoying trend I keep noticing where ESFJs think they are better than INTPs?
      - No, I can't. I think I am better at some things than INTPs, but I also think INTPs are better at some things than I am.
    • Can you explain why I keep noticing that ESFJs sees every fault of an INTP (whether real or imagined) as insufferable and unacceptable, while thinking their own faults should be tolerated and accepted (or while thinking they are perfect and have the right point of view on everything)?
      - Nope. Everyone has faults.
    • What's with the sex thing? I hear that after any little squabble, or after any perceived slight (usually imagined) ESFJs stop "putting out" as a retaliatory mechanism.
      - I've never been sexually active, but when I am upset with people I typically want distance from them. Sex is basically the opposite of distance.
    • Why does everything become something that offends you or that you see as a slight?
      - Are you seriously implying that ESFJs are offended by everything? That's just absurd.
    • Why do you say nice things to people, then talk shit about them behind their back?
      - Why does anybody do that? I don't think this is an ESFJ thing. Literally almost every female I've ever met does this. Probably because it's not socially acceptable to say rude things to their face. I don't think ESFJs do this any more than any other type. In fact, my INTP friend does this quite a bit.
    • Why are you so convinced that your way is the correct way, even when proven wrong?
      - Maybe your "proof" is not sufficient for them?
    • Do you think there is something wrong with overreacting, or reacting to things so emotionally?
      - The word "overreacting" is highly subjective.
    • Why do you so strongly believe things should be done in a certain way, while showing very little flexibility even when you end up being wrong?
      - I do things the way that seems most efficient to me, if you can show my your way is more efficient then I will probably change the way I do it.
    • Why would you annoy and try to get an introvert to socialize more, or think something is wrong with them because they don't? Why would you continue doing this even after reading about and supposedly understanding who they are?
      - I wouldn't. I live with 4 introverts, I know they need alone time and don't enjoy social situations as much as I do. When they tell me they want to do something by themselves I back off and let them.
    • What personality type have you gotten along best with?
      - I really like INFs and other SFJs.
    • Do you get along with other guardians, like ISTJs?
      - No, I don't. I have a very hard time STJs. My dad is an ESTJ, and my grandfather and youngest brothers are ISTJs. I find them harsh, uncompassionate, and unable to see past the surface of complicated issues.
    • Where have you noticed emotional strength/resiliency?
      - In myself? In the world?
    • What does intimacy mean to you?
      - I think honesty and transparency are a huge part of intimacy to me.
    • Do you think INTPs enjoy your "showering" of Fe? Do you back off when they tell you or it becomes obvious that they are uncomfortable, or do you shower them with it to watch them become annoyed, miserable, and uncomfortable?
      - I think sometimes they do, otherwise they wouldn't seek it out occasionally. But, I do my best to back off before becoming intrusive. I would like to think I don't make my friend miserable.
    • Do you have an agenda with everything you do?
      - I have a purpose for everything I do.
    • How open-minded are you? Has anything caused you to become more open-minded (if so, then what)?
      - Again, "open-minded" is extremely subjective. I try to see all sides of an issue before I make a judgement about it. I have been told by multiple IN types that I am good at this.
    • Why are you so controlling and sometimes rigid (especially when you know you should lay off)? What's going through your mind when you flare up and start becoming so?
      - If this happens it's because I fear something that it important to me is being messed up or done improperly.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

    3w2 6w7 1w2
    *Gryffindor*


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