We've been hanging out for a good nine months. We've become oddly romantically involved, though not officially committed. There's too many variables, and uncertainties, and .... I just don't know what the future holds. I have the utmost respect for him, he compels me to better myself, and he feels too good for me (I view that as a good thing)... I asked, and it was stated if I did desire to have a relationship "I guess we could try it." ... is this just a standard gesture? Would this be said to anyone indiscriminately?? Yea, this sounds like a REALLY stupid question, but... I guess my real issue is that I'm not quite able to approach him for emotional support (asking to clarify his position and listening to my problems). I feel like me asking for clarity is pulling my trust for him into question. I don't want him to think I distrust the support he has for me, I'm just... not sure what that support is.. I extract what little I can, and try not to pry... quite frankly, I'm afraid it will be off-putting to him. He's assured me otherwise...
I see him, his limitations, his quiet disposition, how he independently processes his feelings and is seemingly bereft of any emotional life... lol! I kid, I know he his DEEPLY emotional, just... untouchable in some way. It's strange to me, though I view it as a strength. In contrast to his fiercely independent emotional life, I feel quite needy. I feel burdensome opening up about certain issues, yet at the same time I feel the need to proclaim these issues to an audience just to process them- and breathe life into them. It helps lay rest to nagging thoughts and lamentations.
A part of me is marveling over the fact that I found this wonderful man and it's too good to be true. The other part of me is caught up on this catch... that I am going to have to learn to assert myself and my desires as a way to maintain stability within the relationship. I see... that simple gestures would need to be made to reassure me and keep my morale up. I see him adhering to those requirements... and it feels like imposing my will on him...
He is completely worthy of trust. I can just... be close to him and my mind goes silent, and I can be in the moment and appreciate his presence. No words, no pressures, it's wonderful. I want that in my life.... but I fear opening up to him will allow him to grow a distaste for who I am as a person. That he'll be overwhelmed... or put off.
How do you handle people confiding in you? Is it annoying?
Does this sound like a nightmare for an ISTJ??
Hey, thank you everyone who took the time to read, and an extra thanks to those who took the time to respond! I did manage to talk to him about the most fundamental thing that had been bothering me, which turned out to not be nearly as much talking as I thought it would be.... And of course his response was completely receptive, and reasonably a little surprised. This has been very beneficial to me to hear all of the input from different perspectives. Any additional comments are welcomed and encouraged Thanks again.