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  1. #21
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I'm actually a software guy, I write code for a living. I travel a lot and the weather has been poor lately so I've been staying inside more.

    I wouldn't say I'm entirely healthy. I'm controlling, yes, but not nearly as much as others because I'm also ambitious, and I don't like to waste my time.

    I like talking to people about their ideas and getting different perspectives on the world. That doesn't pay the bills though, so I work and study a lot. Maybe I'll return from my isolation soon and venture into the world again.
    Interesting... so you as an ESFJ has been rather "isolated" as you say because of the line of work you do and the situation you're in yet you do look forward to "maybe" venture into the world again. Has your work and situation prohibited you from doing what you really want as an "extrovert" would you say or do you choose what you do and still enjoy it despite it not being very "ESFJ-like?"

  2. #22
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitsuko Souma View Post
    Interesting... so you as an ESFJ has been rather "isolated" as you say because of the line of work you do and the situation you're in yet you do look forward to "maybe" venture into the world again. Has your work and situation prohibited you from doing what you really want as an "extrovert" would you say or do you choose what you do and still enjoy it despite it not being very "ESFJ-like?"
    I just moved cities and my confidence has taken a big hit, I underestimated how important having a network of people to hang out with was to me. What's more is my girlfriend I lived with for the last year broke up with me. We both had our own plans after the move, got in each others way, became dissatisfied, and split. I am a bit isolated mainly because I want to be, in order to rebuild my confidence on something that's hopefully less fragile than whatever it was before.

    On my career as a programmer, well we all have to start somewhere. I chose it because I thought every job will pretty much suck and I might as well get one that would let me move anywhere in the world and work. Every office job is pretty much the same anyway, you sit at your computer, sit in meetings, hang out with coworkers, and end the day at 5. Something I realized later is that coworkers make the job for me, meaning working with people I like is pretty much a necessity, and I tend to like other programmers. Another thing is that I'm fairly gifted in math and language, and I can juggle several things in my head at once, so programming in itself is something I can do fairly well. The reward comes from having made something that is of some value to someone, as well as feeling competent and valuable myself.

    Maybe I will stop writing code if I ever get burned out or find better opportunities, but over the next 4-5 years I think I'm going to stick with it. It certainly helps that I like my current job. I'm certainly faring better than many people in my age group. I know at least 4 other ESFJ programmers, and one quit to become a catholic monk after 5 years, while the others are still programming as far as I know. I don't think it's privy to NTs or any other type for that matter. Programming is a big enough field that every type should be able to find their niche.
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  3. #23
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I just moved cities and my confidence has taken a big hit, I underestimated how important having a network of people to hang out with was to me. What's more is my girlfriend I lived with for the last year broke up with me. We both had our own plans after the move, got in each others way, became dissatisfied, and split. I am a bit isolated mainly because I want to be, in order to rebuild my confidence on something that's hopefully less fragile than whatever it was before.

    On my career as a programmer, well we all have to start somewhere. I chose it because I thought every job will pretty much suck and I might as well get one that would let me move anywhere in the world and work. Every office job is pretty much the same anyway, you sit at your computer, sit in meetings, hang out with coworkers, and end the day at 5. Something I realized later is that coworkers make the job for me, meaning working with people I like is pretty much a necessity, and I tend to like other programmers. Another thing is that I'm fairly gifted in math and language, and I can juggle several things in my head at once, so programming in itself is something I can do fairly well. The reward comes from having made something that is of some value to someone, as well as feeling competent and valuable myself.

    Maybe I will stop writing code if I ever get burned out or find better opportunities, but over the next 4-5 years I think I'm going to stick with it. It certainly helps that I like my current job. I'm certainly faring better than many people in my age group. I know at least 4 other ESFJ programmers, and one quit to become a catholic monk after 5 years, while the others are still programming as far as I know. I don't think it's privy to NTs or any other type for that matter. Programming is a big enough field that every type should be able to find their niche.
    So a bit of both essentially.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I just moved cities and my confidence has taken a big hit, I underestimated how important having a network of people to hang out with was to me. What's more is my girlfriend I lived with for the last year broke up with me. We both had our own plans after the move, got in each others way, became dissatisfied, and split. I am a bit isolated mainly because I want to be, in order to rebuild my confidence on something that's hopefully less fragile than whatever it was before.

    On my career as a programmer, well we all have to start somewhere. I chose it because I thought every job will pretty much suck and I might as well get one that would let me move anywhere in the world and work. Every office job is pretty much the same anyway, you sit at your computer, sit in meetings, hang out with coworkers, and end the day at 5. Something I realized later is that coworkers make the job for me, meaning working with people I like is pretty much a necessity, and I tend to like other programmers. Another thing is that I'm fairly gifted in math and language, and I can juggle several things in my head at once, so programming in itself is something I can do fairly well. The reward comes from having made something that is of some value to someone, as well as feeling competent and valuable myself.

    Maybe I will stop writing code if I ever get burned out or find better opportunities, but over the next 4-5 years I think I'm going to stick with it. It certainly helps that I like my current job. I'm certainly faring better than many people in my age group. I know at least 4 other ESFJ programmers, and one quit to become a catholic monk after 5 years, while the others are still programming as far as I know. I don't think it's privy to NTs or any other type for that matter. Programming is a big enough field that every type should be able to find their niche.
    How freaking strange to see an ESFJ programmer. Are you sure you're not an N or a T? Being the exact opposite of who you are, and also supposedly the "prototypical programmer," I'm mildly curious what it would be like to work with you. Would you be annoying, rigid, meddlesome, and controlling, or would you make the team? I wonder.

  5. #25
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CapLawyer View Post
    How freaking strange to see an ESFJ programmer. Are you sure you're not an N or a T? Being the exact opposite of who you are, and also supposedly the "prototypical programmer," I'm mildly curious what it would be like to work with you. Would you be annoying, rigid, meddlesome, and controlling, or would you make the team? I wonder.
    I'm not an rockstar programmer by any measure, but I think that in the right team and with the right tools I can do pretty well. I remember now I wrote java desktop apps for my first year and I was really close to giving up, but since I moved on to web apps I feel much more optimistic. I think it's because I get to be more social, it's faster paced, and more user-centric.
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  6. #26
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    ESFJ men actually fit a socially "masculine" stereotype very well, in whatever culture they happen to live in,
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    The ESFJ-ExTP comparison works very well, IME. Similarly to how female ESTJs can come across like ExFPs when they're socialized to be a bit more traditionally feminine.
    Yes, to both of these. My Uncle is one and he in no way fits the stereotypical image people generally have of ESFJs. He's cultivated an image that sort of like a ESTP but he doesn't fit the type at all. Being absolutely sports mad probably contributes to that. Until I realised he was actually a ESFJ (through process of elimination), it made me rethink how dominant Fe can come across, especially in a man.
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    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

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