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Thread: What do Male ESFJs do?

  1. #11


    They typically fit gender roles pretty well. Some are incredibly paternal and others are more "I am a tough alpha male but cry on the inside" types. Lol ENFJ men seem much less like that. They can be charming as heck but still stick out like a sore thumb to me in terms of trying to emulate strict societal expectations.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array tinker683's Avatar
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    Nov 2009
    9w1 sx/sp


    The same thing male ISFJs do...just with more style and class
    "There is no such thing as spare time, no such thing as down time, no such thing as free time, there is only life time. Go."
    ― Henry Rollins

  3. #13
    trapped in zoobilee zoo Array Osprey's Avatar
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    Jul 2008


    I have this theory, that Feeling is actually more strongly differentiated into masculine and feminine than Thinking.

    It definitely seems to be true for the SF's. The NF men do seem a little "softer", but I think they often have some kind of cockiness or rowdiness about them too. Think of John Lennon or Jim Morrison. They're like the "musician/artist" archetype a lot of women are drawn to. Perhaps not traditionally masculine, but there is something a little macho about it.

    I do know that the most "masculine" and "feminine" people appear to be Fs. If you thinking about it, it makes sense, because taking anything other than boobs and the ability to throw babies out and thinking about that as "feminine" is somewhat arbitrary and difficult to suss out logically. I suppose Te can see those things as "facts" maybe, but they don't hold up when you observe enough individuals.

    I have a friend who I think is an ISFJ ( we seem to have an alpha quadra at lunch going on of INTP ENTP and ISFJ), and he kind of comes off like a jock, but there's nothing intimidating about him once you actually know him.
    Free me from Zoobilee Zoo...

  4. #14
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Array Cellmold's Avatar
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    Mar 2012


    Actually giving this thread some more thought, although I cannot speak for the majority of ESFJ men, I would say what I do is...nothing.

    I exist, I wake up, I go to social gatherings, I talk...usually quite emptily, I engage in personal hobbies and routines and then I retire to bed. The next day I do the same and then the next....until they run into one another and I die....liked by many, but loved by none.

    I made conversation fun and was a source of humour and well being they will say. I was an idiot say others who lacked a perceptive insight into any faculty of his or anyone else's existence, living entirely upon each emotional reaction like a puppet attached to electricity.

    In any case, people will conclude that I lived and died and fortunately the fact they noticed would perhaps be the second greatest success of my life, the first being that no one would morn for too long, as it should be.
    "An upsidedown wire heart
    Being sucked into a periscope
    Still the mind is dull
    Like you need another excuse"

    … a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
    at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
    .. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
    different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
    domain in which it is clear and adequate….
    - David Bohm

  5. #15
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Aug 2008
    173 so/sx


    The ESFJ-ExTP comparison works very well, IME. Similarly to how female ESTJs can come across like ExFPs when they're socialized to be a bit more traditionally feminine.
    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw or gryffindor (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    9w1 sx/so


    i like esfjs so much i've decided. i have an older esfj friend and her ne shit is hilarious. i mean...she's just such a funny character. i think they're just so cool and capable...they can just do anything really it seems.

    annnyway...ben harper is an esfj i think...this is sort of what pops into my head when i think of them.

    Attachment 9791
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
    Nerd King Usurper Array Edgar's Avatar
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    Oct 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Stansmith View Post
    They're like really, really down-to-earth ENTPs with average joe appeal. Maybe even more ESTP if anything.
    What? ESFJs are nothing like ENTPs or ESTPs. Those are completely different types.

    ESFJ guy is usually a trendy dude who is obsessed about being liked and being part of the cool crew. Usually thinks status quo is totally sweet, unless he's pulling a "fashionable non conformist" thing. Generally very friendly and outgoing, until some line is crossed and it turns into a giant bitch fest. If ESFJ is not in it with the "cool kids", chances are, he's miserable as shit.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  8. #18
    Junior Nasty Woman Array Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Jun 2009
    872 sx/sp


    I'd come in here to say something more or less positive about ESFJ males.

    Then I got a text from my ESFJ ex and that basically fell apart.

    Best I can manage is that they're like more controlling versions of ESTJs.

  9. #19


    I think the unhealthy ones need to be avoided...or matured...

    and the healthy ones need a hug and a shield from the bias of typology. Poor, well-meaning ESFJs.

  10. #20
    Blind Guardian Array Haven's Avatar
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    Apr 2011
    2w3 so/sp
    ESFj Ti


    I'm actually a software guy, I write code for a living. I travel a lot and the weather has been poor lately so I've been staying inside more.

    I wouldn't say I'm entirely healthy. I'm controlling, yes, but not nearly as much as others because I'm also ambitious, and I don't like to waste my time.

    I like talking to people about their ideas and getting different perspectives on the world. That doesn't pay the bills though, so I work and study a lot. Maybe I'll return from my isolation soon and venture into the world again.

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