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  1. #11
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    @Marmotini is mine. Don't go near her.

  2. #12
    Member Hecuba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I have seen you posting elsewhere, and I almost said this then, but, in light of this thread, I figured it should be said that I'm pretty sure you're an unhealthy enneagram 6. It's a very common enneagram type for people with a dominant introverted perceiving function (in your case, Si). I'd look into the enneagram, and specifically the health levels, in order to help out with your issues. It seems like you're pretty neurotic (i.e., you're regularly in the lower health levels). When you talk about coming up with all these different scenarios and what not, it sounds like your inferior Ne is out of control.
    http://www.enneagram.net/type6.html

    Yeah, I see a lot there that describes me to say the least. My head is always running with all different scenarios to the point I'd become dizzy and tell my mind to shut up! It gives me a lot of unwanted thoughts as well, and involuntary conclusions and scenarios that would well, stick with me. My mind is always making comparisons, even ones that make no sense, but it absolutely must think of every possible thing that could happen even if it makes absolutely no sense at all. :|

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hecuba View Post
    Yes, you're right for the most part. I never had anything dramatically bad happen during my childhood. I am not saying I had it wonderful, but not bad in that way either. I've had some scary experiences though, maybe they affected me? You're right. I grew up with my parents fighting and threatening each other with death a lot though and I guess I started to "guard" myself and began to be over protective of any friends that I made as well. I'd protect anything and everything I valued, I'd get really mad when people would invade my personal space. I'd get angered if someone would touch something that was mine, etc.
    I would say that hearing your parents threaten each other may be it. It may have been that as a child you feared it would actually happen, so learned to imagine worst-case scenarios for losing the people you loved most.

    I also agree with Zara that you're probably an enneagram 6.

    I think protecting anything and everything you value is common in ISxJs, though, from what I've observed.

  4. #14
    Member Hecuba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    I would say that hearing your parents threaten each other may be it. It may have been that as a child you feared it would actually happen, so learned to imagine worst-case scenarios for losing the people you loved most.

    I also agree with Zara that you're probably an enneagram 6.

    I think protecting anything and everything you value is common in ISxJs, though, from what I've observed.
    I can only wholeheartedly agree. I wish I could turn back what I did this week, though but I was so determined I was "right" by protecting this friend when in fact he really could have done without me being a nagging presence and a perceived lack of trust from his point of view. I'd always learned things the hard way, I've always had to have my face hit by a tonne of bricks to learn anything and it's a shame I've had to hurt myself and friends in the meantime. The first instance I mentioned, some three years ago I made threats in the name of the girl I believed was a threat to my friend. I was so full of spite, I scared myself. I let my inkling of fear, and uncertainty rule me and ruined our friendship. We're still friends to this day, thankfully and he's long forgiven me and I have long apologized and accepted I was wrong. It really is a double-edged sword I tell you, just like I said in another post. It hurt them, it hurt me and it was inconclusive and it was a product of my ever active mind looking for any and every single outcome. I didn't even know the girl he was in a long distance relationship with and trying to amend basically and I came in there and made her to be the ultimate enemy! He knew what he was doing the entire time, but I unfortunately was unsupportive of his love to what I thought -- about a complete stranger. Even when he mentioned her name it felt like a knife stabbing my gut. I'd writhe and turn at night in anger, I consumed myself in anger and fear -- I wasn't protecting him that way! I was just making everything harder for him, and worse for myself.

    I saw how the relationship my parents had become so tumultuous and literally it was scary to be under the same roof as I was certain I would have been harmed a few times! I know, no two people are alike and yeah, it is sad when relationships turn bad like that but there could also be good, fruitful, wonderful relationships and I just looked for the worst kind that could happen. Sadly, most of my friends had come from families where the parents split and or had it rough in other ways whatsoever. So, I developed a heightened sense of survival and a knee-jerk reaction because apparently any possible love interest could end up in that way! My friends are not idiots, so why do I fear these things? I hate it when I see my friends heartbroken. I hated seeing my parents fight, I hate it when those sort of things happen! I just want to take everyone under my wing and protect them. But I can't do that, I have to resign to the matter that they would do what is best for them and would watch out for their best interests and not let themselves get hurt in the way I have seen people get hurt. I just hope this friend, and all my other friends and other people I care for know I would never hurt them intentionally. I just end up making the wrong assumptions sadly, my track record is not so good on my end!

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I acted like this once years and years ago with a guy who friendzoned me. What I learned from that is to from the start be more self-aware of my romantic feelings/interest in a guy and to recognize if I get friendzoned to move on quickly instead of sticking around.

  6. #16
    Member Hecuba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I acted like this once years and years ago with a guy who friendzoned me. What I learned from that is to from the start be more self-aware of my romantic feelings/interest in a guy and to recognize if I get friendzoned to move on quickly instead of sticking around.
    It's good to know I have not been the only one to go through this, I am really glad this one friend though kept a level head and 'put me in my place' essentially letting me know clearly he had no feelings for me though he liked me as a friend. I took that well, much to my surprise, but when he mentioned that other girls name (I had a nasty choice word for her that started with the same first initial of her name) I felt a grazing sensation of utter loathing and rage. Now, this recent turn of events I am not attracted to him. I just thought at the time I was right in an assumption and I was really off and he tacked it to a lack of trust which in actuality is a part of a greater issue which I have explained in this thread.

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