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ISxJs - Do you relate easily to other Si-dom in person?

OrangeAppled

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ISxJs, when you encounter another of your kind in person, do you find it easy to see yourself in them or not?
Besides your own type (ISTJ or ISFJ), which type do you tend to see some reflection of yourself in (in person mainly)?

If you ever get compared to other people in person, does it tend to be a "neighbor" type (ie. an ISFP or INFJ for ISFJ, or ESTJ for ISTJ) or is it usually completely unrelated to type?
 
T

The Iron Giant

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When I was on PerC, I found I didn't have a whole lot in common with most of the other ISTJs, though people did compare me to some. I'm good friends with [MENTION=4353]MBTI Enthusiast[/MENTION] still, she's an ISTJ and a 9w1. I have a 9 fix, and I'm a reasonably healthy six, so I guess that could be part of it, too. We relate a bit when we talk, which admittedly isn't that often, and is only online. Her boyfriend is an ISTJ with almost the same tritype as me too, and there are things about him, from his posts on PerC, that I relate to as well.

You're asking in person, which makes more sense of course... I have connected rather well with the female ISFJs I've known in real life. I think my ex-wife may have been ISFJ (she tentatively considered herself INFJ, but knows almost nothing of typology aside from the results of her test). She's a 4w3, without question. I've never known anyone who better fits that enneagram type. I didn't see much of myself in her at all, I guess. We had fun anyway. I had an ISFJ friend for a little while a couple of years ago who I got along with OK but we didn't hang out much. I forget her type, she's on PerC but I can't look at her type since I was banned. The ex-girlfriend I had before my ex-wife I also believe to be ISFJ, and she and I got along very well too. I could see a lot of myself in her, we related very well while we were together.

I don't think I've been compared to other people in person. Online I get compared to a few other sixes and a few nines. There was a thread over on PerC asking what members certain members remind you of, and there were a few mentioned there. I'm sure some were Si-dom.

Sorry I don't have many IRL answers for you. Curse of the cave bear. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
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Unfortunately no. I relate very little to most people anyhow and have never noticed an affinity with other ISFJ's.

But of course bias being what it is, (and franky I needn't harp on this horn as it is always constantly blowing), but people often assume Sensing types, especially SJ's, to be copies of each other for some reason.

Possibly because the concept of type was thought of and adapted by intuitives. Assuming of course that any of this is an inherency that we gave terms to instead of the other way around.
 
0

011235813

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that SJs (and maybe sensors in general) identify more with people who share common interests and like to do the same kinds of things, whereas NFs (and perhaps intuitives as a whole) are more likely to find common ground based on patterns of thinking and behaviour, even if directed towards different ends.

I don't know though, it's just idle conjecture.
 

tinker683

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Generally, yes. Sometimes we're just too different as individuals (insofar as interests and hobbies go) but otherwise I get along with them very well :shrug:
 

OrangeAppled

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that SJs (and maybe sensors in general) identify more with people who share common interests and like to do the same kinds of things, whereas NFs (and perhaps intuitives as a whole) are more likely to find common ground based on patterns of thinking and behaviour, even if directed towards different ends.

I don't know though, it's just idle conjecture.

That's EXACTLY something I was "suspecting", and partly why I asked the question.

Si-dom, when you do find yourself relating to someone, what are the factors?
 
T

The Iron Giant

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Si-dom, when you do find yourself relating to someone, what are the factors?

Similar values (for example if someone goes off on a rape culture rant, or something about religious hypocrisy, I'm totally there), strong sense of humor, similar interests, and that rare instance where I see someone standing up for the little guy, or defending an unpopular position against the masses.
 

tinker683

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That's EXACTLY something I was "suspecting", and partly why I asked the question.

Si-dom, when you do find yourself relating to someone, what are the factors?

Similar values (for example if someone goes off on a rape culture rant, or something about religious hypocrisy, I'm totally there), strong sense of humor, similar interests, and that rare instance where I see someone standing up for the little guy, or defending an unpopular position against the masses.

+1. Similar values and interests are primarily what make me click with a person. I can get along with virtually anyone but how much I engage them depends on how much I can relate to them.
 

Giggly

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Yes, I get along with and relate well to other Si doms.

I relate more to individuals than whole types, but if I had to pick another type I relate most to, it would probably be INFJs.
 

EJCC

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Not an Si-dom, but...
I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that SJs (and maybe sensors in general) identify more with people who share common interests and like to do the same kinds of things, whereas NFs (and perhaps intuitives as a whole) are more likely to find common ground based on patterns of thinking and behaviour, even if directed towards different ends.

I don't know though, it's just idle conjecture.
^ Meshes well with my experience. I'd answer exactly the same way as Tinker and Stephen in terms of what leads me to connect with people. Values emphasis is probably part of the reason why I'm friends with so many NFs irl.
 

Habba

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I think I relate to other ISTJs, ISTPs, and ESTJs rather well.
I can also relate somewhat to ISFJs and INTJs too, although they often do have personality feats I slightly resent (but knowing that helps me ignore that resent). Funnily enough, I feel it's the two sides of the coin. The other doesn't stand behind what he believes, while the other doesn't give room enough for other beliefs.

I don't think I can relate to people via interests that well. I like watching football, but I dislike football fans.
 

EJCC

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I don't think I can relate to people via interests that well. I like watching football, but I dislike football fans.
You know, that's a good point. Several interests of mine -- and several TV shows I watch -- led me to try to befriend people who share that interest, only to back the hell away when I saw how freaking obnoxious they are.

But oftentimes, with making friends or whatnot, it'll start with shared interests, right? I mean, I dunno about Si-doms (vs. Si-auxes), but in my case, the "spark" between me and someone else will often be with a shared interest. Whether a friendship/relationship develops from there depends on all the other ways in which we could be compatible, but the initial "relating" process might begin, for me, with some shared experience. Some common ground.

Maybe this is different from what NFs experience? I think they might tend to zero in on principles, loyalty, whether someone is a "good person", before the more superficial things, instead of letting the superficial things lead to the deep stuff. Unless that has more to do with instinctual variants...
 

OrangeAppled

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As an INFP with tertiary Si, there has been a focus at times on "niche interests", where I'd lament not meeting many who shared mine, as if this was the only way to connect. Being rather infantile in me, Si is limiting for me then. But I don't & didn't necessarily see myself in someone because we share interests. I may enjoy & like them and in that sense we may connect over our common interests, but I don't see my own qualities in them aside from taste. I've noticed I generally get compared to & relate to similar types ("neighbor" types, if you will), and I too will see a similar thinking style, even if our demeanors, tastes, beliefs, etc, vary a lot.

However, the nature of Si led me to suspect that a reflection of self would be viewed in more factual terms than patterns of processes. This would go beyond interests & tastes to include specific beliefs, values, and behaviors even. These things are a lot more about specific experience. Since Si is sort of personal impressions of experience held as a sort of map of reality, then two Si-dom may not relate much at all because they're operating off of very different maps.

The ego being a mindset like that would make it hard to relate to a lot of people, I imagine, even if some of them are Si-dom as well. I've had the idea that Si-dom don't really experience themselves as "typical" at all (as they are tagged); some theorists suggest they may view this morbidly. Perhaps because of Je-aux there may even be a hyper-awareness of how they differ in nuances....

Most of what people are saying confirms my hunch though.

/thinking aloud
 

Istbkleta

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As an INFP with tertiary Si, there has been a focus at times on "niche interests", where I'd lament not meeting many who shared mine, as if this was the only way to connect. Being rather infantile in me, Si is limiting for me then. But I don't & didn't necessarily see myself in someone because we share interests. I may enjoy & like them and in that sense we may connect over our common interests, but I don't see my own qualities in them aside from taste. I've noticed I generally get compared to & relate to similar types ("neighbor" types, if you will), and I too will see a similar thinking style, even if our demeanors, tastes, beliefs, etc, vary a lot.

However, the nature of Si led me to suspect that a reflection of self would be viewed in more factual terms than patterns of processes. This would go beyond interests & tastes to include specific beliefs, values, and behaviors even. These things are a lot more about specific experience. Since Si is sort of personal impressions of experience held as a sort of map of reality, then two Si-dom may not relate much at all because they're operating off of very different maps.

The ego being a mindset like that would make it hard to relate to a lot of people, I imagine, even if some of them are Si-dom as well. I've had the idea that Si-dom don't really experience themselves as "typical" at all (as they are tagged); some theorists suggest they may view this morbidly. Perhaps because of Je-aux there may even be a hyper-awareness of how they differ in nuances....

Most of what people are saying confirms my hunch though.

/thinking aloud

This is sooo interesting but you make it sound so dry and hard :(
why :( Pls make it more alove.

Si is fun!


Also, what things mean to me, makes me an individual, and what my past was, makes me an individual too, so they are both a part of me.
I wonder if INFPs are not in danger of believing only their heart holds the key to their true self?
 

Jstrazz

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In my experience (which is my experience not universal truth) ISTP's can be a bit arrogant and won't stop talking about what they know and are a bit lazy, all of which bothers me as an ISTJ who doesn't appreciate anything I do which is a problem area, I never want anyone to know what I know and I need to keep busy to stay sane. In that respect I don't relate well to ISTP's. ISFJ's and ESFJ's, again in my experience, can be very manipulative and whiny which isn't easy to relate to. ISFP's are AWESOME. They are the sweetest nicest people in the world. Though its hard to relate to their patience and open care about others. ESTJ's are pretty much our (ISTJ's) twins and we can relate completely together.
 

pyriticsilence

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I have an ISFJ sister. We get along pretty well most of the time because of a shared sense of humor. There are other times when I think she's a little bit crazy, though. :shock:
 
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