After some thought the best conclusion I can draw at the moment about the whole responsibility thing is that it's a combination of a)projecting our own values on to you (and therefore expecting you to share it) and b) some sort of display that you are acknowledging to us that you're not being careless with our feelings.
About A) This really isn't your problem and I haven't quite discerned whether this is a maturity/how-we-are-when-we're-healthy thing or just a flaw with Fe-users in general as I see many posters on this forum having similar issues with SFJs. Maybe an Si-Fe thing? Bottom line, I need to stop projecting my values onto other people close to me.
About B: Maybe it's because we get taken advantage by so many people, maybe it's because it's important to me that my SO respect my feelings or maybe it's for some other reason but: It's important to me that my partner demonstrate to me that she is sensitive about my feelings and my needs and for some reason that expectation only seems to extend to my SO and my parents. Everyone else in the whole bloody world I will go out of my way, give far more benefit of the doubt, let them get away with a lot more than I would my parents or my SO. My ex noted this paradox to me once. I'm not entirely certain as to the true reasons and motivations behind this but the best I've come up is, because I'm so much vulnerable with my SO and my parents, I therefore bruise a lot easier when they hurt my feelings. With my friends, colleagues, coworkers, etc... I don't really expect that much from them so if they do something careless, it's not the big production that if my SO hurts me it becomes.
I do however expect a lot more from my SO and from my parents so when they do something to hurt me and they seem very slow to accept responsibility or correct the behavior (particularly if a pattern starts to form) then it makes me feel like they're not taking me or my feelings as seriously as I'd like them too. Mind you this does ease up considerably once I've really gotten to know them intimately and find out all their little quirks. Then the things that used to irritate me become endearing
Maybe it's a self-esteem thing?
I'd like to take this time to thank you and Highlander (I'd mention him but I've yet to get that stupid feature working right so I just gave up) for your continued thoughts and time on this thread and to once again apologize to Giggly-chan for making this thread less than fun for her