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  1. #11
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Am I the only one who really hates it when someone can't give you a straight answer? For example, when I ask a friend of mine, "How'd your night go?" And the conversation follows as:

    Them: "was good! We stayed out late, I only got a few hours of sleep."
    Me: "why, what happened?"
    Them: "what do you mean?"
    Me: "why were you out so late?"
    Them: "we were out late because we were out late. Are you mad at me or something?"
    I hate it when someone doesn't give me a straight answer. It drives me nuts. It's one of the reason I don't like politicians - because they don't answer questions. Your example might not be the best because who cares why they were out late. They were having fun obviously. They are wondering if it bothers you and you wish you were along or something. That might be the reason the person responded the way they did.

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  2. #12
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I'm a curious person, so naturally, I'd prefer a more detailed and informative answer. However, I am also aware that some people prefer not to spell out everything in detail. I respect peoples' privacy and realize that much of the stuff about their lives just isn't my business and that some things may be too personal to share. Unless I have good reason to suspect the person of some major wrong-doing, I try not to be overly intrusive in pushing for answers.
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  3. #13
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Yes, but in kind of a different sense than the OP. It doesn't bug me when people are evasive in a way that indicates that they don't want to talk about it, because then I think "okay, I get the message, that's cool".

    But if it's something important, and I ask them a direct question that could be answered very simply, and they choose to answer with some long-winded thing that doesn't really answer the question at all... THAT annoys me. It's like, just answer the goddamn question. It's not that hard.

    It's good to know that this is an Fe thing, though. It will be very useful knowledge in my future interactions with Fe-users. (I can't be cryptic from now on! )
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  4. #14
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    I'm not SJ, but I also dislike evasive answers, especially when it turns into snapping at me. I ask questions to show interest, and then when they respond with hostility it makes me think "well if this is how they respond to me showing interest in them, I won't be doing that anymore." When the response to my initial questions leads to more questions, I follow up with them since it's not really an answer and my curiosity demands explanation. If they didn't want follow up questions, they should have given a straight answer. Or told me they didn't feel like talking at the moment. Which I could sense, but I shouldn't be expected to be a mind reader (even if I am iNfj!).

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Hey all,

    I'm posting this to my fellow SJs as I'm curious if this may be an Si thing or if its just me, but...

    Am I the only one who really hates it when someone can't give you a straight answer? For example, when I ask a friend of mine, "How'd your night go?" And the conversation follows as:

    Them: "was good! We stayed out late, I only got a few hours of sleep."
    Me: "why, what happened?"
    Them: "what do you mean?"
    Me: "why were you out so late?"
    Them: "we were out late because we were out late. Are you mad at me or something?"

    Now see, at this point, I don't really care a whole lot about why they were out so late, I'm just curious at that point as to why it is they're giving me such non descript answers. It's like an alarm bell goes off in my head and I start to wonder, "what's up with this? Why are they answering me in this fashion?" And I become intensely curious.

    Apparently this offends some people. Am I the only one who gets like this? I this an Si or perhaps an inferior Ne thing?
    Not really, that doesn't bother me.

  6. #16
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Hey all,

    I'm posting this to my fellow SJs as I'm curious if this may be an Si thing or if its just me, but...

    Am I the only one who really hates it when someone can't give you a straight answer? For example, when I ask a friend of mine, "How'd your night go?" And the conversation follows as:

    Them: "was good! We stayed out late, I only got a few hours of sleep."
    Me: "why, what happened?"
    Them: "what do you mean?"
    Me: "why were you out so late?"
    Them: "we were out late because we were out late. Are you mad at me or something?"

    Now see, at this point, I don't really care a whole lot about why they were out so late, I'm just curious at that point as to why it is they're giving me such non descript answers. It's like an alarm bell goes off in my head and I start to wonder, "what's up with this? Why are they answering me in this fashion?" And I become intensely curious.

    Apparently this offends some people. Am I the only one who gets like this? I this an Si or perhaps an inferior Ne thing?
    I generally feel the same way- if I get the feeling that they are trying to be evasive.
    I think some people, especially introverts, will answer that way for the sake of word economy.
    If you push for more detail, they will usually go into it. If not, then the shady bell goes off
    I don't mind having to pull a little bit, because I can decide when to pull the plug. If what they did was boring or wack I don't have to continue. I don't mind that option.

  7. #17
    Member RoadPaveMent's Avatar
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    I dunno if she was an SJ or not, but recently I had this conversation. I just arrived at knitting club and pulled out my knitting needles and thread...

    Me: Uhhh, I haven't done this in a long time. I don't remember how to do this.
    Me: *looks expectantly into the eyes of the knitting club president*
    President: Sooo...thennn...do you want me to...help you?
    Me: Yes!

    It could just be that I suck at verbal communication.
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  8. #18
    Member tine5's Avatar
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    I don't like evasiveness because I feel like they may have done something and they don't trust me enough to say. I like it when people feel comfortable enough to share things easily with me, so when people seem like they're hiding things I wonder what it is and why they wont tell me.
    I have a friend who's pretty evasive about things if she's in the wrong mood to be asked, which leads to us going in circles (me asking, her avoiding etc)
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  9. #19
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I'm not good at answering "How's your day" type of questions. Not trying to be evasive or deceptive. I just don't care to get into all of it. I think SJs like "narrative" in general.

    It's mostly only a problem if someone wants me to explain how I solved a problem or how this or that worked.. I'll give them a helping hand sometimes, but somehow it's more laborious to explain it all. Just go away. I'll tell you when it's done.

  10. #20
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Do you think this person is cheating on you or something?
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

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