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  1. #1
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Default I need a quick ISTJ comeback line - HELP!

    My sister in law can drive me crazy (so can my father, but that's another topic.) Both however, are ISTJ's and both do the same thing: whatever's up with you, they've had it harder, or done it better, or seen it / had that idea before, or they tried to tell you XYZ years ago etc.

    "YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT TOUGH? I'VE HAD IT TOUGHER!"

    Here's an example of what I mean. Our dog is dying of cancer and my daughter is flying across the Atlantic as I type this, so I've been up texting with her answering flight terminal questions at 4:30 am and the dog needing out at 5:45 am:

    Me (in the middle of answering how things are going): I am so tired today, 3 nights in a row of 6 hours sleep!
    Her: 6 hours of sleep !?!? That’s my usual, if I’m lucky.

    Now, as more data here, I had surgery (a good many years ago now) on my thyroid and since then, less sleep is a challenge for me. But I don't talk about it or whine about it to ANYONE, except for my husband. I really do need more sleep. Mornings are difficult. I wouldn't have even mentioned today to her if it wasn't in the conversation.

    So, how do I respond to the above? Mostly I ignore it, because frankly, it's not worth the bother of trying to explain it because all it comes across as is some kind of excuse. And I try NOT to let it bother me, but sometimes, the lack of what I consider an appropriate social response is hurtful and annoying.

    I NEED THE BEST COMEBACK LINES HERE PEOPLE! HELP ME!
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #2
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    Okay well I've noticed that a lot of SJs (maybe not-so-healthy or insecure SJs) will try to "best" you with what martyrs they are in terms of work, sleep (or lack there-of) and in some cases you see that they're doing it to themselves...pointlessly. Like they've internally done things to create an external world that they have totally imposed upon themselves where they don't sleep enough or they do too much.

    Bearing that in mind, you can say something along the lines of informing her that people who actually get a full night's sleep live longer. So say something like "well that's fine for you, but I actually want to live to see grandchildren" or something.

    Say something that isn't openly nasty but is more subtle and biting, I think that's more on the ISTJ level and shuts them up. If you start screaming or crying, they may just snicker.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Oh I also read this thing in high school from the Greco-Roman times where it was said that intellectuals need more sleep than average people, and the number given being about 9 hours. You could also allude to that.

  4. #4
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    "I can feel your compassion" (with a heavy sarcastic tone)

    Invite the battle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    "I can feel your compassion" (with a heavy sarcastic tone)

    Invite the battle.
    Some ISTJs will reply to that with a cheerful, sarcastic "Yes, I know right? Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."

  6. #6
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Some ISTJs will reply to that with a cheerful, sarcastic "Yes, I know right? Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."
    Then I'd say "I hope they keep you so busy that you don't call me back"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Then I'd say "I hope they keep you so busy that you don't call me back"

  8. #8
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    If this were a real family member or someone I cared about I probably wouldn't be that brave. I'd probably just avoid talking to her.

  9. #9
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    "I can feel your compassion" (with a heavy sarcastic tone)

    Invite the battle.
    Haha! Giggly, sometimes you surprise me.

    Fight those ISXJ stereotypes!
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  10. #10
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    @PeaceBaby just tell her what you told us and widen the scope to not make them the focus.

    "I know MOST adults in America say they get 6 or less a night. But with my reduced thyroid I need more."
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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