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  1. #11
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Her: 6 hours of sleep !?!? That’s my usual, if I’m lucky.
    So, how do I respond to the above? Mostly I ignore it, because frankly, it's not worth the bother of trying to explain it because all it comes across as is some kind of excuse. And I try NOT to let it bother me, but sometimes, the lack of what I consider an appropriate social response is hurtful and annoying.

    I NEED THE BEST COMEBACK LINES HERE PEOPLE! HELP ME!
    Could say:
    "Well then, you're lucky and sounds like you don't need that many. Haha. Be sure and let the dog out when you get here. I'll be leaving the key with the neighbors. See you after getting up!"

    (Taking advantage of the assumption and reverse the relative understanding of what 'lucky' means.)

    If I decided to say something like this, I'd be sure I did it jokingly with fun intended. Not trying to be mean.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  2. #12
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Some great thoughts all, and really thanks for letting me vent. I am tired so my filter is slightly reduced too, making smaller things annoy me and needing to get it off my chest! This has been a crazy day, my daughter's flight from NY ended up cancelled due to weather and she's still not at the hotel I booked for her. My poor baby. She's exhausted and super-stressed out.

    Seriously, I was so ticked off this morning - my sis-in-law's on holidays next week, and I had invited her to come visit if she wanted to get a break since she's had a lot to deal with the last year and a half. Here I am, trying to be super-nice, and what, the convo is about who's getting better sleep?

    Anyways, still, if anyone has suggestions on how to deal with it in the moment, I would love to hear more. Something about her response shuts my empathy-o-meter off and flares my irritation, and I would love to be able to diffuse it more effectively.

    ISTJ's, please help too, I really need to hear what's in your head when you say something like that, and what you need me to say back.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #13
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    I'd probably go for audacious parody that reflects the comparison and simultaneously says that I don't give a crap about comparing. Something like:

    Well I have to sleep uphill both ways in the snow with my eyes open and fighting off hordes of butt monsters that smell like butt! How many stinky butt monsters do you fight every night? HMMMM? Yeah I thought so!

  4. #14
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    Say "good, you can help me then. I need xyz...123...blah, blah, blah...thanks" and walk off

    It will either shut them up or help you get stuff done.

    If they make an excuse..say "I thought you were good?"
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #15
    The Iron Giant
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    I'm sorry about your dog.

    Comebacks aside, that's a stunningly invalidating response you received from your sister-in-law. She totally missed the point of your reaching out to her with a text. That hurts. My ex-wife's mother was kind of like that, and it pissed me off. Anything I or my ex-wife said, she would have to outdo or deride. Not an ISTJ though, I think she might be ENFP.

    If you want a response that will give your sister-in-law the opportunity to learn something, I would suggest something like, "That was dismissive and very insensitive of you. I'll be sure not to share in the future." Sarcastic responses will probably just invite more one-upsmanship, and ignoring it is as good as encouragement. This response ideally pulls the plug on the competition immediately and tells them why, and you don't need to respond further to clarify what she's done that hurt your feelings and why you're not speaking to her. I'll hope you get an apology, but I won't hold my breath.

  6. #16
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    People see through comeback-lines and aren't moved by them

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Seriously, I was so ticked off this morning - my sis-in-law's on holidays next week, and I had invited her to come visit if she wanted to get a break since she's had a lot to deal with the last year and a half. Here I am, trying to be super-nice, and what, the convo is about who's getting better sleep?

    Anyways, still, if anyone has suggestions on how to deal with it in the moment, I would love to hear more. Something about her response shuts my empathy-o-meter off and flares my irritation, and I would love to be able to diffuse it more effectively.

    ISTJ's, please help too, I really need to hear what's in your head when you say something like that, and what you need me to say back.
    ISTJs need to vent out their frustrations. The thing is that we are not in tune with our feelings. Sometimes we don't realize how stressed we are until the cap almost pops out of the bottle. What would make things better between you two would be her letting out her stress daily, before seeing you. If she learns to do this properly, she would be a much happier and enjoyable person to be around.


    If you want an ISTJ to shut up, you've got to prove him/her wrong. Now I know INFPs are able to think logically and fast with that quick wit. I don't have any specific examples, but just a few ways you can respond to what they're saying.....

    "Great! You'd be the perfect candidate for this job!" (sarcastic tone; can be used to hand a responsibility from your side to them when you complain about something)
    "If you're so good at it, why don't you go do it??" (say it in a cheerful way to avoid conflict)
    "Good for you." (nodd your head and just say yeah, yeah. this shuts them up faster.)

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by rawr_sheila View Post
    If you want an ISTJ to shut up, you've got to prove him/her wrong.
    In my experience, it's easy to prove an ISTJ wrong, but convincing them that they were wrong is impossible.

  9. #19
    The Iron Giant
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireShield98 View Post
    In my experience, it's easy to prove an ISTJ wrong, but convincing them that they were wrong is impossible.
    Jung would agree! And I do, too. The most distinctive clear feature of the introverted sensation type, according to Jung, is that detachment from the object. I call it a kind of blindness to truth. While the Si dom may perceive the object and deduce the truth, they are doing it through an extremely coarse filter of experiences that are based around how similar objects have struck them in the past. This builds an air of confidence around our perceptions, but in actuality we're seeing less of the object as a result.

    In practice, this is really only super pronounced in unhealthy behavior, just as irrational random catastrophizing is for Ni-doms. For many ISTJs, it's a matter of irrefutably proving they're wrong, provided you have demonstrated authority in the subject matter, or authority in the ISTJ's life (a great deal of trust and respect). In my experience, they take well to this too. There's a kind of sheepish "oh crap I really was wrong" response, followed by a changed perspective that is carried forward in a new perception. I know I love being wrong, because I get less wrong after every time.

  10. #20
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    I don't know...I don't like admitting that I'm wrong, especially the deeper I've entrenched my opinion/belief in something. I can push away, for sure. But given time, I may be grateful for the change.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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