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  1. #21
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Dang, I'm not sure what I should write here.

    I mean, I always do nice things for people and I always listen, I'm just not sure when I cross into "love" territory.
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  2. #22
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    They are no longer ashamed of your disinterest in following the norms and expectations of society. Or at least they've learned to restrain themselves from expressing that shame.
    That's huge!
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  3. #23
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Shower me with affection and/or praise. Trust me, it won't be forgotten and you might find your SJ hanging around you more often...

    Also, what Criac is doing in this thread is a good start

    (I don't know how to use the Mention tag so I'll just hope he or she reads this )
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    Dang, I'm not sure what I should write here.

    I mean, I always do nice things for people and I always listen, I'm just not sure when I cross into "love" territory.
    I've heard this before.

  5. #25
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    To elaborate further on that, I think love may be a gradual process for healthy SJs, something that requires time and trust; if an SJ rushes into love they're probably projecting something like the inferior on to the person. I think some ISxJs especially have a hard time trusting, and it's a matter of really fully letting a person in, instead of being kind or helpful out of duty.

    But I think excess dutifulness is a sign of love in SJs, when they feel like doing more for you than they do for people in general, or they sincerely worry about you. And like I joked, when you can't beat them off with a stick, when they come back just like the cat, the very next day, you thought he was a goner, but the cat came back and he couldn't stay away.

    So yeah.


  6. #26
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    To elaborate further on that, I think love may be a gradual process for healthy SJs, something that requires time and trust; if an SJ rushes into love they're probably projecting something like the inferior on to the person. I think some ISxJs especially have a hard time trusting, and it's a matter of really fully letting a person in, instead of being kind or helpful out of duty.

    But I think excess dutifulness is a sign of love in SJs, when they feel like doing more for you than they do for people in general, or they sincerely worry about you. And like I joked, when you can't beat them off with a stick, when they come back just like the cat, the very next day, you thought he was a goner, but the cat came back and he couldn't stay away.

    So yeah.

    Yes, it's a gradual proceeding I've noticed.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  7. #27
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    The only beings in this world whom I can openly say "I love you" to are my dogs. I don't really understand why I have this big hang up about using the l-words when it comes to humans, I can't even bring myself to say it to my dad in text.

    The last person I can remember saying it to is my mom, but she was a real messed up Feeler and pretty much conditioned me into using F as a coping mechanism to try and make sense of her mood swings.

  8. #28
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soppixo View Post
    The only beings in this world whom I can openly say "I love you" to are my dogs. I don't really understand why I have this big hang up about using the l-words when it comes to humans, I can't even bring myself to say it to my dad in text.

    The last person I can remember saying it to is my mom, but she was a real messed up Feeler and pretty much conditioned me into using F as a coping mechanism to try and make sense of her mood swings.
    You are a serious downer, dude. Love isn't that hard, just say it. It feels good to say.
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    You are a serious downer, dude. Love isn't that hard, just say it. It feels good to say.
    ISTJ vs. ESFJ.

    This isn't totally foreign to me in my experience with ISTJs, though a bit extreme.

  10. #30
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    In fact, I just want to add that I'm pretty understanding of ISTJs and their demonstrations of love through loyalty, reliability, performing needed tasks, creating structure and providing, and giving gifts...and that they may be more awkward with saying I love you very often. I was raised by an ISTJ who loved me fiercely, and I'm close to another ISTJ male who has ..these issues...which seem to torture him...so...don't give them such a hard time.

    Though this may be the difference between Fe and Fi, I dunno.

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