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  1. #1
    Junior Member volk's Avatar
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    Default How do ESFJs view INTJs?

    This is a question to all ESFJs. I want to know what you think about INTJs and if you ever reached a level of complete understanding with one. I don't have any S types at all among close friends, but according to socionics an ESFJ would be my best match. I can't really imagine how that can be true, since S and N people live in two different worlds and F people tend to require too much emotional maintainance.

  2. #2
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Where are you getting this information?

    ESFJs think INTJs are weird and rude. INTJs think ESFJs are nosy and obnoxious. That's the short of it.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  3. #3
    More human than human MetalWounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Where are you getting this information?

    ESFJs think INTJs are weird and rude. INTJs think ESFJs are nosy and obnoxious. That's the short of it.
    Second that.
    I'm doing science and I'm still alive

  4. #4
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm afraid it's true. INTJs don't usually seem to mesh well with extroverted SFs. They aren't the most "people friendly" of the types anyway (and I say this with an INTJ best friend whom I love dearly).
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #5
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm afraid it's true. INTJs don't usually seem to mesh well with extroverted SFs. They aren't the most "people friendly" of the types anyway (and I say this with an INTJ best friend whom I love dearly).
    No need to be polite. Most INTJs would readily admit that they're not 'people friendly.' Because, well, they aren't, and we try not to deny the painfully obvious.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  6. #6
    heart on fire
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    My mother was ESFJ and my father was INTJ. He seemed to think she was just as a woman should be, bubbly, decorative, entertaining, nurturing, adoring, emotional, psycho at times. (He was willing to overlook her abusive T shadow since it only came out with his kids when he wasn't there!)

    She thought he was brilliant, funny, arrogant and enticingly enigmatic.

    He was totally different around her when it was us family at home, he was open, affectionate, warm, talkative. Other people never believed this about him, but it was true.

    Even now, I will relate stories to my husband about my Dad and husband will say "Your Dad would never do/say that!" But he would around my mother.

  7. #7
    Junior Member volk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Where are you getting this information?

    ESFJs think INTJs are weird and rude. INTJs think ESFJs are nosy and obnoxious. That's the short of it.
    socionics.com.

    I agree with what you people say. I don't feel comfortable around any one who is S, especially ES. But it bothers me that socionics gives such a wrong impression. Though they do say that in the begining of a duality relation, the extroverted partner views introvert as nothing special at all. However over time they discover how much they need each other.

  8. #8
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    I wonder why they kept the J as a consistency and not the N. I agree that sometimes an introverted partner might need an extrovert for balance, but I've always taken that to mean ENFX/INTJ pairings, not ESFJ/INTJ ones.

  9. #9
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by volk View Post
    socionics.com.

    I agree with what you people say. I don't feel comfortable around any one who is S, especially ES. But it bothers me that socionics gives such a wrong impression. Though they do say that in the begining of a duality relation, the extroverted partner views introvert as nothing special at all. However over time they discover how much they need each other.

    What is it that makes you uncomfortable, if I may ask?

    Also, one of my friends is an INTJ. He is a very intelligent guy, and a fine musician. He is also kind of weird and has a slightly "infantilized" view of the world. He can be kind of annoying, especially when drunk. A disagreement over music or social mores or what have you can be Twilight Zone-ish with him.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  10. #10
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    No need to be polite. Most INTJs would readily admit that they're not 'people friendly.' Because, well, they aren't, and we try not to deny the painfully obvious.
    He says that he prefers my method of verbal karate-chop/board-to-the-head when he's being a creep than someone trying to wheedle-coax him through it. I just come out and say, "You're being a horse's rearend" and he responds well to it for some reason.

    But then again, he's told me that he requires that kind of feedback because he doesn't always know when he's being callous or jerky. It may be particular to him, I don't know, but the same method worked on my INTP ex-bf. The direct approach.

    Not to say that all INTJs need those prompts.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aerithria View Post
    I wonder why they kept the J as a consistency and not the N. I agree that sometimes an introverted partner might need an extrovert for balance, but I've always taken that to mean ENFX/INTJ pairings, not ESFJ/INTJ ones.
    I absolutely could NOT see myself with another J function. We get on like a house on fire when we're friends, but romantically? No. Too much push-pull and uncomfortable acquiescence. That's just me though.

    Besides the scenario that Heart cited with her parents, I've never seen an ESFJ want to BOTHER with an INTJ, much less an INTJ bother with an ESFJ (who I suspect would general miss the grounded demonstrations and affection prevalent in other SFs or even STs....). N can be cold to cuddle up to. I have an ESFJ female friend who loves STPs, and I see that as having harmonious potential.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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