[MBTI General] How do ESFJs view INTJs?

[INTJ123]

you guys should be careful when trying to apply socionics to your mbti type. an INTJ in mbti would score as INTP in socionics thus the relation of duality for an mbti intj would be the esfp with intp in socionics, not INTJ with ESFJ. and mbti intp would score as socionics intj and so I think it's safer to state that the INTP and ESFJ are duals since most people overlook the differences between socionics and mbti, MBTI is the test most people took so I think we should state it as INTP and ESFJ duality so we don't cause confusion.

This explains why the mbti intp is more tolerant of esfj and the mbti intj does not get along with esfj. It's the mbti intj and esfp that are duals in mbti terms, and if you look through this forum and find the consistency of these relations it will make more sense to you.

Also there are different views on type interaction and socionics has it's own method different from others. I prefer Kiersey when it comes to type interaction.

 

[Saslou]

This is a question to all ESFJs. I want to know what you think about INTJs and if you ever reached a level of complete understanding with one. I don't have any S types at all among close friends, but according to socionics an ESFJ would be my best match. I can't really imagine how that can be true, since S and N people live in two different worlds and F people tend to require too much emotional maintainance.

INTJ's are weird and quirky and knowledgeable and i do think you guys are great. Complete understanding, no. But me and ex were both unhealthy back then. I personally think these 2 worlds can be brought together as long as you are aware of the differences and neither of you want to change the other person. Finally yes, we do require emotional input from yourselves, which may possibly be lacking in this kind of relationship unless you are able to express yourself.

I was reading something recently which said my shadow was INTP. No thanks, i would take an INTJ anyday.
Call me crazy.

 

[poppy]

the relation of duality for an mbti intj would be the esfp

The idea of duality is harmonious interaction though, or covering each other's weak points, and in my personal experience I have found sensing-perceiving to be ok companions for recreation, but terrible in romantic or professional settings (or even close friendships for that matter...not impossible, but there's an inherent barrier there). My needs in any kind of a relationship would be much better suited to someone of the SJ temperament.

 

[Exodus]

I know others have touched on this point, socionics is not the same as MBTI. A INTJ is a INTP in socionics.

The "ideal" type for a INTJ is a ENTP or ENFP according to Keirsey.

I prefer a INFJ, but it is not without its challenges.

 

[prplmnky]

I know others have touched on this point, socionics is not the same as MBTI. A INTJ is a INTP in socionics.

The "ideal" type for a INTJ is a ENTP or ENFP according to Keirsey.

I prefer a INFJ, but it is not without its challenges.

Me, too. My mother is ESFJ, and I appreciate her 'mindful', tenacity and diligence, but I love the INFJ's gentle, feeling, and understandable rationale in a partner.

 

[TheGolfCourse]

Basically, as far as my own interactions, if you can obey basic social stuff, behave in a way that displays an appropriate amount of concern or interest in others, or respect their perceptions of life (not necessarily agree) then they will usually get along with you just fine. And I don't see any of the things I listed as pulling teeth.

 

[Lawren]

At least in my own personal experience, I enjoy INTJ's. I find them intriguing and I am ever interested in how their minds function. It seems very different from my own perspective, and therefore I am drawn to them continually.

My best friend is an INTJ. At first it was very difficult to become one in his selective group of pals, but it was worth the long and grueling wait. I'm not one to say it's without conflict. Sometimes I find myself affronted by things that he says, and I'm sure there are things about me that bother him. Also, I used to not be able to take criticism AT ALL without taking it personally, but after spending time with him, I've learned to enjoy the realistic point of view given. I find as long as I don't let those little things take control and bother me, we keep the best company. I think at least in this type's case the opposites can attract each other, and have great potential to learn from each others differences.

 

[Giggly]

I'm borderline I/E and I like INTJ's. I think they are interesting and I like their style but I think they get really annoyed when I gravitate towards certain traditions and when I act all sensorish.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I'm borderline I/E and I like INTJ's. I think they are interesting and I like their style but I think they get really annoyed when I gravitate towards certain traditions and when I act all sensorish.

Urgh, ESFJ sensorish... SAVE ME!

 

[INTJguy]

INTJ and ESFJ

I (INTJ) had a 30 yr relationship with an ESFJ (yes it ended divorce) and am five years into another ESFJ, so I guess that makes me an addict. I find her strenghts compensate my weakness, and my strengths compensate for her weakness. Together we are a force not to be triffled with. We could devastate each other, so trust is key. So I am free to be wierdly silly with her, to let my unbalanced emotional states show a little (she finds it funny and strange). She is free to have a complete emotional meltdown with me (I have learned that these things are not problems to be solved) serving as an unjudgemental safe haven.

Ying and Yang, happily balanced, not in middle, but by the extremes.

 

[IZthe411]

That is pretty much spot on...

I met this guy online, we clicked right away (in writing). I had him take the Myers-Briggs and he came out ESFJ. We talked on the phone maybe twice and met in person once. In this span of 2 to 3 weeks, he would text me everyday and wanted to talk at least every other day. Eventually, things cooled down and I just kinda stopped talking to him. Several times he tried to rekindle the conversation (myspace, texts), but eventually just said "So I'm guessing you are not interested in talking to me?" I have not texted him since. It has been a good week at least. He was a very clingy, needy, smothering person. He probably thinks I am the biggest arsehole ever for not messaging him back at all. I have just been too busy to be bothered. I'll get back to him before Monday...maybe...

I know a guy who I believe is ESFJ. He calls me a lot just to talk. I don't like to talk a lot on the phone with guys- most of the time if I do call a guy it's for a purpose. But he likes to just shoot the breeze. And initially he took it personally that I did not return his multiple calls over the week. Even though he joked about it, he was really serious. It affected him. Over time he just understood I'm not a yap yap and I'd get to him eventually. And he's cool now.

 

[AutumnReverie]

I know a guy who I believe is ESFJ. He calls me a lot just to talk. I don't like to talk a lot on the phone with guys- most of the time if I do call a guy it's for a purpose. But he likes to just shoot the breeze. And initially he took it personally that I did not return his multiple calls over the week. Even though he joked about it, he was really serious. It affected him. Over time he just understood I'm not a yap yap and I'd get to him eventually. And he's cool now.

+1 I'll only call people when I actually have a reason for calling -- and I usually get to the point/that purpose right away when I call. I just find it extremely awkward to call someone up and be like "Uhh...hey...how are you?...uh huh...[awkward silence]...[trying to think of something to say]...uh..."

As for the "returning calls", I'm horrible with returning calls or texts if there is no immediate need to do so. It takes me quite awhile to respond, if I do at all, and people definitely take it personally. So I've learned to improve that: I usually always respond now...but it still may take me an hour, many hours, or the next day to do so.