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  1. #31
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    @SuccessfulSeductress: What would you say is the worst thing that could happen to you? I don't exactly see the problem here since everything you posted points in a positive direction.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  2. #32
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    @Mad Hatter : I'm not expecting anything bad to happen to me, actually.

    Another thing I should say about this ISFJ (or ESFJ). On one occasion, she came into class with a plan to try and attract my attention so I would talk to her. I won't go into the specifics of what she did, but the point is that she was willing to do one or two things that were intended to make it easier for me to make the next move.

    Can someone who knows ISFJ's well tell me if this is a good sign of her possibly liking me? Might seem obvious, but I'm still paranoid and feel like it would've been possible for her to do all this without liking me.

  3. #33
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    It might help to ask tall women in general, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by SuccessfulSeductress View Post
    4. After she found out I liked her, she was more open and friendly coming to class on days she expected to see me. She was in a friendlier, better mood those days. Before that, she was quite reserved, never really talked to anyone (this is a 200 person class, so people don't talk that much in general), but she suddenly became more open and nicer in general after finding out about me.

    There's been a few other things that've happened that've made it clear that she's quite interested and really wants to go out with me. What I'm sure about is that she has a high level of interest directed towards me. I was quite surprised at how interested she was, actually. What I'm not sure about is if she's interested in me as a person, or if she's just interested in me as an opportunity for a boyfriend. That's what I need help finding out.
    It sounds as though you and everyone else has concluded that she likes you, so I think that mystery's closed. The Main Question you're asking here, as @Giggly said, is something with an answer lying in her own subconscious, most likely. She probably doesn't even know the answer to it, herself, not without some searching or coming to terms with more surface-level notions and feelings. And although it might be nice for everyone to be more self-aware of their own subconscious motivations for social interactions, I think it is a lot to ask and expect people to conduct themselves that way. Sorry.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 05-30-2012 at 07:29 AM. Reason: smileys are friendly
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  4. #34
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    It sounds as though you and everyone else has concluded that she likes you, so I think that mystery's closed.
    Are you sure? As I said, "I'm not sure if she's interested in me as a person, or if she's just interested in me as an opportunity for a boyfriend." I don't think being interested in me as an opportunity as a boyfriend counts as liking me. It just means that she wants a boyfriend, found a guy that likes her (me), said "What the hell, I guess he'll do," and decided to pursue it with me even though she doesn't find me all that attractive.

    So, I can't say at this moment that I've concluded that she likes me.

    Then again, being as antisocial as I am, I know pretty much nothing about girls (and guys, too, come to think of it, besides myself, who I don't know much about, either). I just can't believe a girl who barely noticed me before would suddenly start liking me enough to start showing even more interest in going out than I do. There has to be some other reason she wants a relationship this badly. Honestly, does anyone here believe an ISFJ girl would suddenly go almost crazy about a guy in a matter of days just because he likes her?

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuccessfulSeductress View Post
    "I'm not sure if she's interested in me as a person, or if she's just interested in me as an opportunity for a boyfriend." I don't think being interested in me as an opportunity as a boyfriend counts as liking me. It just means that she wants a boyfriend, found a guy that likes her (me), said "What the hell, I guess he'll do," and decided to pursue it with me even though she doesn't find me all that attractive.

    So, I can't say at this moment that I've concluded that she likes me.

    Then again, being as antisocial as I am, I know pretty much nothing about girls (and guys, too, come to think of it, besides myself, who I don't know much about, either). I just can't believe a girl who barely noticed me before would suddenly start liking me enough to start showing even more interest in going out than I do. There has to be some other reason she wants a relationship this badly. Honestly, does anyone here believe an ISFJ girl would suddenly go almost crazy about a guy in a matter of days just because he likes her?
    Please do not take my response offensively, because my SJ boyfriend tells me I make things more complicated than they have to be all the time. But, I think you're making this more complicated than it needs to be. She, for whatever reason, appears interested in a relationship with you, and you appear interested in a relationship with her. Is there really much point in ruminating over this online? Might as well put the mental energy into pursuing the relationship. It will become clear after a date or two whether she is really interested in you or not, and at that point you can take stock again and see if you want to continue.

    Then she finds out that I like her and suddenly starts acting like she likes me, too. Rather odd that someone suddenly likes someone else for no reason. I have a right to wonder if a girl cares about me or not when I have reason to doubt.
    Not really, attention itself can be attractive. If you're in a class of 200 and never really interacted, she'd never have any reason to attend to you in particular. But if you pour a little sunshine on her, and you're reasonably attractive yourself, it's not all that odd for her to take a shining to you, too. I like a little friendly male attention, and not much harm in returning it.

  6. #36
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    maybe she thinks you like her because you think she'll be easier because no one else is offering...maybe she's writing a thread right now on some other forum asking the same thing about you!!

    and...what is up with your name?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #37
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuccessfulSeductress View Post
    Would an xSFJ girl be likely to go out with a guy she isn't attracted to? BEFORE YOU ANSWER, I need you to read on. Because I'm not talking about all about xSFJ girls. I'm talking about a particular kind of one. Also, I know everyone's different. That's why I'm asking for someone to generalize for me.

    Most girls get at least some attention from guys. A very small number, for whatever reason, get very little to no attention. They barely get asked out and can't get any dates. If we're talking about one of these girls who barely gets asked out and also happens to be an xSFJ, would she be willing to go out with a guy she isn't attracted to?

    The reason I asked is because there's this girl I've come in contact with who I'm pretty sure is either an ESFJ or ISFJ (my guess is the latter). She's really tall. In the 6 foot 3 to 6 foot 6 range. I heard that college girls that height barely get any attention from guys at all and almost never get asked out. She agreed to go out with me, and I'm 5 foot 9, at least 6 inches shorter than her. However, I'm having a hard time believing she actually likes me. Maybe she just wants a boyfriend and would've said yes to ANY guy who had asked her out, and she doesn't have any particular attraction to me. It'll be a while before I see her again. When I do, I'll ask her and find out whether she does or doesn't like me. Until, then, though, I need some advice. Based on what I've said, is it likely she's actually attracted to me? I like her a lot and will go out with her regardless of whether she likes me or not. But I'm still curious.
    Just go for it. I once slept with a woman who was 6'4. When we both stood up, my head would be at about the same level as her breasts. When we had sex, she was so much taller that when I fondled her breasts, it made me feel like Mike Tyson hitting a speed bag. Oh but my advice is to ask her out ASAP before she slaps your ass in the friend zone. It's very hard to get out the friend zone. Believe me I have been there, and it's not a place you want to go.

  8. #38
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuccessfulSeductress View Post
    Are you sure? As I said, "I'm not sure if she's interested in me as a person, or if she's just interested in me as an opportunity for a boyfriend." I don't think being interested in me as an opportunity as a boyfriend counts as liking me. It just means that she wants a boyfriend, found a guy that likes her (me), said "What the hell, I guess he'll do," and decided to pursue it with me even though she doesn't find me all that attractive.

    So, I can't say at this moment that I've concluded that she likes me.

    Then again, being as antisocial as I am, I know pretty much nothing about girls (and guys, too, come to think of it, besides myself, who I don't know much about, either). I just can't believe a girl who barely noticed me before would suddenly start liking me enough to start showing even more interest in going out than I do. There has to be some other reason she wants a relationship this badly. Honestly, does anyone here believe an ISFJ girl would suddenly go almost crazy about a guy in a matter of days just because he likes her?
    I'm a guy, but I do the same thing in bold... for girls. Practically every girl I've gone out with has shown the initiative. I have NEVER been successful in pursuing ANY girl. What's interesting is that I always hear about how good looking I am, and how much action I should be getting. It never seems to work in my favor though. I go through thinking that girls just think I'm cute, but generally aren't interested in me. So when someone likes me, it's like flipping a switch between not acting interested because I'll probably get shut down, to omg this person actually likes me, and they don't just think I'm cute.

    Maybe she's used to guys bailing on her after a while and thinks that you're going to stick around. Also, maybe she did notice you, but didn't think you'd notice her. Also, maybe she doesn't need you to be overly attractive because she doesn't want to compete in that area. If she didn't like you, it would show. She seems to like you enough to be nice to you. That's not to say it wont end horribly, but yes she probably likes you, and it's probably not because of the way you look, but by how you make her feel.
    {The Diplomat}
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  9. #39
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    Practically every girl I've gone out with has shown the initiative. I have NEVER been successful in pursuing ANY girl.
    Me neither, with guys. Which is why I don't do it.

  10. #40
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    She, for whatever reason, appears interested in a relationship with you, and you appear interested in a relationship with her. Is there really much point in ruminating over this online? ... It will become clear after a date or two whether she is really interested in you or not, and at that point you can take stock again and see if you want to continue.
    Considering that it'll be months before we get the chance to go out where I can get my answer in person, and considering that I've now decided to make the question of whether or not this girl likes me a major emotional issue in my life, ruminating over this online (or privately) seems to be the most obvious course of action at the moment.

    and...what is up with your name?
    Begins with an S and ends with an s. Odd, isn't it?

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