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[ISTJ] I moved in with my ISTJ.

mrcockburn

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Survival tips?





And we're splitting rent 50/50, so even though I'm moving in his place rather than vice versa, he can't go around acting like he's the boss.
 

iwakar

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Is this the same ISTJ you've created your past threads about?
 

mrcockburn

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Is this the same ISTJ you've created your past threads about?

lol, yes.

I know him pretty well as a person, but living with him is a whole 'nother ballgame. And I can see his SJ clashing with my ExxP.
 

iwakar

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Is there any particular conflict you foresee that you want to get the jumpstart on?
 

mrcockburn

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Is there any particular conflict you foresee that you want to get the jumpstart on?

Foresee? They've already happened. :p

So far, we've bickered about...

* My not noticing a goddamn cheerio on the floor. I'm not a slob, but this cheerio managed to fall down on the floor and roll under a corner without my having noticed it. I don't do a thorough wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling 360-degree face-to-ground inspection 24/7, so come on.

* My friend coming over. The ISTJ hates him, because he talks very loudly and gets in his personal space (I think there's something wrong with him - he's a really nice ENFJ, but I think he has Asperger's Syndrome). I enjoy the ENFJ, but every time he comes, the ISTJ gets pissy. These are reasonable hours, too.
 

iwakar

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Arguing isn't necessarily a problem unless a resolution isn't reached. It's healthy and normal. You're different people trying to accommodate one another's differences. Disagreements are to be expected yeah?
 

mrcockburn

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Arguing isn't necessarily a problem unless a resolution isn't reached. It's healthy and normal. You're different people trying to accommodate one another's differences. Disagreements are to be expected yeah?

Meh, yeah. I've just never officially moved in with a guy (or vice versa), so I'm just kind of...whoah...about it. I probably wouldn't have done it if my old roommates were halfway sane.

I just need some general pointers for living with SJs, since I've never lived with an SJ before.

By the way, how do YOU know so much about ISTJs? You always come into my ISTJ threads. :rly???:
 

iwakar

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By the way, how do YOU know so much about ISTJs? You always come into my ISTJ threads. :rly???:

I don't claim to. But I know some ISTJs and some ESTPs for that matter.

If there's anything my good friend K (ISTJ) and I have in common, it is that 1) we strongly value our personal space and we will respect others that respect ours, 2) we keep our cards close to the chest, and 3) we take our relationship commitments very, very seriously and we will fight the good fight to keep the loveboat afloat until that f*cker has gone total Titanic.

cc-217213-380-675.jpg


Maybe the nitpickiness annoys you, but consider why he is nitpicky. You still may not share his priorities, but you might learn to appreciate them.
 

mrcockburn

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[MENTION=179]iwakar[/MENTION]

I don't think I'm ESTP, so got any anecdotes of your ISTJ + ExFP?
 

River

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I probably wouldn't have done it if my old roommates were halfway sane.

Hmm. Not a good reason to live with your SO.
 

Antimony

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Don't leave food in the microwave. Match those socks. Ban the dust bunnies. Attempt to have some kind of routine.

Haha, good luck.
 

mrcockburn

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How do I get him to accept my ENFJ friend? (see 1st page).

They don't need to be best friends or anything, but I don't really enjoy the constant complaining.

It's not like the ISTJ can't just go into another room or just go take a hike for a little while, but he still complains. The ENFJ is messy (though I make him clean up)...but beyond that, it's ridiculous.

(He's stopping by to hang out around 7, and the ISTJ is already being a baby about it.)

EDIT: Also, the ENFJ *cooks* for me! And he'd cook for the ISTJ too, but he refuses due to his rather iffy food prep hygiene (I admit that, though I've never gotten sick from it, lol).
 

mrcockburn

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Hmm. Not a good reason to live with your SO.

I might actually find another place if things aren't "agreed upon" within a day or two. Most of my stuff is still packed in boxes.
 

River

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as to the ENFJ, why should someone your partner doesn't like get to invade their space? Like it or not, 50/50 rent or not that house belongs to your SO. Turning it from mine to ours takes time and effort.

It's not like the ISTJ can't just go into another room or just go take a hike for a little while

Err... why can't you? Again, it is their home. Be respectful.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

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Prepare to have conduct and procedural lists attached to your fridge.
 

mrcockburn

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as to the ENFJ, why should someone your partner doesn't like get to invade their space? Like it or not, 50/50 rent or not that house belongs to your SO. Turning it from mine to ours takes time and effort.



Err... why can't you? Again, it is their home. Be respectful.

So what am I, homeless? If I'm paying for half of it, it's half mine. No ifs ands or buts. I'm doing my best to compromise, he can learn to do the same, or I'm outta there.

And I do leave with the ENFJ sometimes. But if he wants to cook, which he does sometimes, he needs to come HERE, since his own roommates banned him from the kitchen.
 

River

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So what am I, homeless? If I'm paying for half of it, it's half mine. No ifs ands or buts. I'm doing my best to compromise, he can learn to do the same, or I'm outta there.

And I do leave with the ENFJ sometimes. But if he wants to cook, which he does sometimes, he needs to come HERE, since his own roommates banned him from the kitchen.

I'm going to repeat myself. Turning it from just being their home into a shared one will take time. So it feels, to your istj, as an invasion of space.

Living with a partner is different from having a room mate. Having someone over they don't like is not a simple issue of 'well i pay rent' but involves your consideration for their feelings and respect for their wants and needs. This does go both ways naturally. So sit down your istj and talk to them about how important it is that said enfj comes over and see where it goes from there.
 

Snow Turtle

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My first thought when reading through the replies:

Wait, this is your SO? How the heck is this going to work... =/
 
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