I'm 99% sure the ENFJ has Asperger's Syndrome, but he REFUSES to see a doctor. He brags about not having seen one since childhood.
That's so interesting. How did you become such good friends with him? Does his social inappropriateness and 'super extroversion' mean nothing to you?
Maybe you are an INFJ after all...
Originally Posted by mrcockburn
Anyway, I spoke to the ISTJ before I left for work, and he accepted that I'd crash at someone else's place (which I would've done, regardless of his "approval". I don't need his permission to do what I want).
You seem to have a running theme in the threads you start with the idea that 'no one can tell me what to do/i'm not gonna change for anybody/i don't need your permission'. Of course, not knowing you IRL or even how you talk or think about your bf most of the time these comments might be inconsequential. BUT, if you are gonna live with this guy and stay in a LTR with him it would be helpful to reframe and not look at it that you need his 'permission' to do things or that he's trying to change you or cramp your style, just that you're now entering a new beautiful phase of 'getting to know one another' and 'learning how to live with each other in sexy harmony'. Or something like that.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde
As far as the cheerio thing is concerned just tell him "Sorry about that. I'll be more careful" and if he keeps lecturing then tell him "Look, I don't need to be lectured about this. It was an accident and I said I'll be more careful."
As far as the other stuff is concerned, it seems like you are being a rebellious child that wants to assert that you have every right to do what you want regardless of what your bf thinks. While this may technically be true, it really doesn't matter. If you want to have a lasting relationship with this guy then his feelings can't be irrelevant. You need to compromise with him even if you don't like it. You are living together now, sharing a space, and you need to come to a middle ground where both of you are happy in your space. So maybe, for example, only let the annoying ENFJ come over once every two weeks or so, so that your ISTJ can see that you're compromising, but you also still get to have your friend over.
Also, most grown/mature people in serious relationships will probably have a problem with their signif. other bringing home 5 drunk/high people to crash in the house. And most grown/mature people aren't going to like that fact that once a week their signif. other goes to someone else's house drunk/high to crash after partying. Yes, you are technically allowed to do all these things, but if you plan on having a long lasting relationship with this guy, then you're going to have to consider how he feels about your actions. If you want the relationship to last, then being respectful of how he feels is just as important as being idependent and in charge of your own life.
He's probably very unhappy, and it's all because of you cockburn. It's all because of you.
Although, on the serious side. Which needs come first to you, your ENFJ's or SO's?
tl;dr ^ This.
Reading this gave me a headache. Long story short, get those priorities in order. If one party is annoying the other, decide who's more important to you and get a grip. Living with a SO doesn't just happen. There will be sacrifices and give and take. Bored now.
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't."
@CzeCze - I definitely attract a lot of oddballs. Which is great, since I'm one myself. My "conventional" friends, I really only party with. My real, daytime friends are a gaggle of life's outcasts. lol