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[MBTI General] ENFP Female + ISTJ male-How to make it work

alexx

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Messages
503
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
2w1
Alexx that is not true, ENFP's are not minions. ISTJ's do not want them to control.

Dave - the "fact" that ENFP's have a hard time settling down is not true - we just don't like to be boxed up.
 

Tea-Snob

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2009
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Dave - the "fact" that ENFP's have a hard time settling down is not true - we just don't like to be boxed up.

I have experience in relationships with ISTJ and ENFPs, both myself and close friends and for my money this is pretty accurate.

Security and stability can be wonderful things in a relationship, but those same words have been used by dictators when they invade other countries.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Dave - the "fact" that ENFP's have a hard time settling down is not true - we just don't like to be boxed up.

I have experience in relationships with ISTJ and ENFPs, both myself and close friends and for my money this is pretty accurate.

Security and stability can be wonderful things in a relationship, but those same words have been used by dictators when they invade other countries.

Who said anything about being boxed up? :huh:
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
This sounds like a nightmare.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Is it just me, or wouldn't an ISTJ be most likely to believe that an ENFP was completely out of her mind psycho?
 

alexx

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2008
Messages
503
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
2w1
Or the other way around LOL!
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Is it just me, or wouldn't an ISTJ be most likely to believe that an ENFP was completely out of her mind psycho?
Yes, probably true. What's more, ISTJs have the numbers to back up this belief, because they see more of society on their own side of this.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
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Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Yes, probably true. What's more, ISTJs have the numbers to back up this belief, because they see more of society on their own side of this.

I mean, with the OP, she said he broke it off with her because it was too intense and her whining and crying that she wanted him back infuriated him rather than evoking any sort of sympathy. Frankly, I would be insulted if I made myself that vulnerable to someone and surely wouldn't be concerned with making things right.

I would be embarrassed, though, that I'd behaved in such a needy, emotional manner in front of someone who obviously didn't really give a shit about my feelings. I might also feel shame if I had intruded upon that person in some way.

In that situation, I think the best thing to have done would be to walk away and see if he came around...and if he didn't...oh well.

I understand that this is a particular incident, and not all ISTJs are like this blah blah blah....but yeah.
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
Why do you feel like you NEED an ISTJ? There is nothing wrong with ENFP preferences, but I get your feeling though.

Anyway, if you feel unnecessary and worthless to an ISTJ(or anyone), take it seriously. It's not a good feeling to have over the longterm.

Ohh don't get me wrong, i LOVE being an ENFP!! I know my strengths and love the fact that I have my preferences over the other ones I could have!

However, to clarify..
I feel like I need ISTJs in a good way. Like, I know that I will ultimately be late to every single plan I am committed to, but my ISTJ makes sure that I make it on time. I am way too F and I love his T'ness and his ability to help me not make such a big deal about stupid problems that come up. He keeps my Ne grounded, and he is such a great help when I start to get stressed out, he keeps me focused and helps me to not sweat the small stuff when I'm in my shadow.

It's just everything that I lack (and am aware that I lack) is complete with my ISTJ.

And sure, it's not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but I know in the back of my mind that the balance, though it may annoy me sometimes, it for the absolute BEST.
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
As long as the ENFP doesn't try to change me, I wouldn't mind having an ENFP for myself. :D

But I don't want to feel like I need to change the ENFP either, and the minute I feel like we are trying to change each other, things are going to go downhill from there... :(

I get what you are saying.. do ISTJs appreciate when an ENFP is trying to challenge their ways, in order to help them grow? Because I like being challenged
 

Take Five

Supreme Allied Commander
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
925
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
I get what you are saying.. do ISTJs appreciate when an ENFP is trying to challenge their ways, in order to help them grow? Because I like being challenged

I probably wouldn't, unless I admired the ENFP, though admiration is more likely in a relationship.
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
Ohh don't get me wrong, i LOVE being an ENFP!! I know my strengths and love the fact that I have my preferences over the other ones I could have!

However, to clarify..
I feel like I need ISTJs in a good way. Like, I know that I will ultimately be late to every single plan I am committed to, but my ISTJ makes sure that I make it on time. I am way too F and I love his T'ness and his ability to help me not make such a big deal about stupid problems that come up. He keeps my Ne grounded, and he is such a great help when I start to get stressed out, he keeps me focused and helps me to not sweat the small stuff when I'm in my shadow.

It's just everything that I lack (and am aware that I lack) is complete with my ISTJ.

And sure, it's not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but I know in the back of my mind that the balance, though it may annoy me sometimes, it for the absolute BEST.
That's sweet.:wubbie: I hope it works out for you all and no one gets seriously injured in the process.:D

How long have yall been together?
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
On and off for about 5 years. Right now things seem to be going great, but when we were broken up for a while, he was very hard to read haha I was posting quite a lot then trying to figure out his ways!
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
On and off for about 5 years. Right now things seem to be going great, but when we were broken up for a while, he was very hard to read haha I was posting quite a lot then trying to figure out his ways!
Aw, well obviously you're excited and happy about him.
 

2XtremeENFP

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Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
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3w4
Yeah I am happy it's working out for the best so far! :woot:
 

2XtremeENFP

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
Yeah, I just started another thread just about figuring out the future, I feel my ISTJ is nervous about 'our future' since we've broken up before, I think his Si makes him worry about our past problems too much sometimes :doh:

Soo are you dating an ISTJ or interested in one?
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, I just started another thread just about figuring out the future, I feel my ISTJ is nervous about 'our future' since we've broken up before, I think his Si makes him worry about our past problems too much sometimes :doh:
Why did you all break up? Sorry if you've already answered that somewhere. Couldn't find it.

Soo are you dating an ISTJ or interested in one?
Something like that.:D I've been with one for over a decade. Married for quite awhile.
 
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