Could you elaborate on this?
I, of course, have an ESFJ mom (though she doesn't fit the stereotype necessarily, she's an ESFJ the way I'm an INTJ I feel...our personalities are markedly constructed by our functions, but we both seem relatively in tune with the NTP and SFP parts of ourselves, as a result neither of us really has the stability you might expect from an SJ or TJ, she's also more F than S). We get on significantly better as we age and can bring out the best and the worst in each other. I've come to admire her.
Hmm... How would I describe it? I did feel quite often like she didn't really get me emotionally and sometimes she even belittled my feelings, which really hurt me. (ie. she would think I was crying to get sympathy, when I really really just couldn't help it.) She understands me better now in terms of how emotional I am, I feel (and I also see her emotional side in a healthier way...I used to feel like when I saw her strong emotions it was usually something scary/unpleasant like she was fighting with my dad, and when she displayed what I now realise was Fe it could come across kind of fake.) She'd tend to get kind of stressed out and weird if I wanted to have friends over or something so that I tended to feel like I just didn't want to have them over, really (although I was shy so sincerely I probably didn't want to that much...!). She also completely didn't get it if I wanted to have clothes which were actually, you know, in fashion.
On the other hand, she loved my creativity and imagination and did a great deal to encourage that. She was always taking us out to the library (which was such a magical place for me) and museums etc and my brother and I just loved that. Both my parents, and especially my mom, really nurtured my intellect and my passions with great care. My parents were very liberal about what they let us read while very strict in some other areas.
I do think that growing up in a family of IxxJs, in some ways we kept too much to ourselves and were too reserved, although the advantage was that my family understood me reasonably well (though not entirely how emotional I was - much like now I looked fairly quiet and reserved but had a lot of emotion just under the surface) and they certainly didn't mind if I spent hours in my room reading and writing and so on. Well, if the weather was good, my mom would throw us outdoors, but she'd be fine with us reading outside.
We were also pretty active kids - it was a very well rounded childhood in a great many ways. But as far as the reserved family thing, I felt like I only had an opportunity to really become a people person somewhat later in life when I moved out (and I was 23 by then.)
EDIT: I re-read this and thought that either my mom and I have both become more well-rounded, or you just understand each other better as you age. Probably both.
I understand better the forces and frustrations which have shaped her life, and she understands better that I want to dress fashionably, and that I'm emotional...
I think one or two other people volunteered xSTJ moms, that was all.
