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  1. #41
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    So, you don't think there are many SJ's around?

    Plus, I can provide more compelling evidence, if you so wish.

    My point in this thread is to only say that if approximately 50% of the world is SJ, probability would suggest one of your parents is an SJ.

    Ergo, why would it be necessarily strange to have an SJ parent?

    For the record, I do agree that ESTJ's and ESFJ's get branded with inaccurate stereotypes ALL THE TIME! You know what those stereotypes are so it's not necessary for me to reiterate.
    There are loads of SJs around, but I would question whether it's to that level. I've seen statistics which distribute the types much more evenly, for instance (with considerably more S than N types, but otherwise fairly evenly.)

    I've lived in a city for several years where I have met disproportionate numbers of people acting like (stereotypical) ESFPs and possibly ESTPs. I very much doubt that all of them are. Many, sure, but I am certain that many other types are represented. What they do all seem to have in common is a desperate desire to fit into the group. Some of them act quite differently when away from that group. It has to do with the environment they've put themselves in and where they are in life. Same sort of thing, I think.

    I'm not saying it's strange to have an SJ parent, by the way. I probably have at least one, unless my dad actually is an INFJ. I do find it strange though that so many people claim to have xSFJ moms when the types of other family members seem quite widely distributed. There aren't even as many ESTJ dads as I would have thought. Plenty of people claim to have F dads, for instance.
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  2. #42
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    When I was a teen I think I kinda wished I had an SJ parent actually... or maybe just a tiny bit more structure or guidance.
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  3. #43
    Intergalactic Badass mujigay's Avatar
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    This stereotyping of ESxJs gets really annoying. If there's anything that someone doesn't like about society/family/their hometown, it becomes "OMG. @#!*% ESxJs not understanding my delicate emotions/intellectual superiority/empathy/martyr complex!

    I wonder if perhaps this can't be blamed on those really condescending type descriptions of ESxJs on most websites. They're all written to sound like a fifties housewife or a zombie of suburbia.

    That being said, my mother is an INFJ. Hoo boy, is she a trip sometimes.
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  4. #44
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    my mother is definitely I

    N-S kinda even, but surely IxFJ
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  5. #45
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    My Mom I know is an IxFJ. I'm leaning more toward ISFJ rather than INFJ because she's practical and doesn't seem particularly interested in the "deeper" issues and when she does discuss them, you can tell she hasn't quite invested a lot of thought into it. This doesn't seem to bother my ENFP father, who wubbes her to death

    That, and I'm practically like a male version of her.
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  6. #46
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    So many people seem to say something about their mom being uninterested in the deeper things, thus she's an S, sort of thing. Again in the societal impact area, I wonder if greater educational opportunities and just greater freedom for women have made a difference. I suspect you could end up with NT women forced to act like SJs, sort of thing, because their only real opportunities were ever to become housewives - I mean, surely the "frustrated/desperate housewife" stereotype isn't all made up of SJs? If they were SJs, perhaps they would be less frustrated...? (probably subscribing to stereotypes myself here, sorry)

    My mom went to university and got her Masters but then has been a housewife since she got married, though she does journalism on the side (more for her own satisfaction than for needing the income, as my dad supported us.) She never had to have a permanent or full time job. It just worked out that way for various reasons. She's very much her own person and very intellectually active - reads voraciously, etc - but though she's certainly fulfilled everything that a "housewife" is supposed to do, I know one of her problems has been boredom, too. She's a good cook, but one of the reasons that she didn't pass on a passion for cooking for me is that she doesn't have a passion for it...

    How would you even "know" that you had deep intellectual longings if you had no opportunity for them and grew up in an environment where there was little or no stimulation for it? A wider question, I guess.
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  7. #47
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    When I first got into MBTI, I looked at INFJ first for my mom, but it didn't fit. Then I looked at ISFJ, and it was perfect for her. Once I learned about cognitive processes, imagining her as anything but Si-dom was silly; and it's not because she is closed to new stuff - she isn't at all. She also is not judgey or unable to discuss deeper things. I have a lot of respect for my mom's intelligence. FYI, she tests as ESFJ, but she will also say she is an introvert & I think she is Si-dom over Fe.

    ESFJ just suits my grandma also. The functions suit her, the profiles suit her.... I'm not going to type them as something else just because other people commonly type their moms/grandmas that way. What's interesting is, my grandma is very prototypical "grandma", but I don't see many other people's grandmas that way; many are surprisingly disinterested in their grandkids. So she's way more "grandma" in a good way than most people are in reality.

    For the record, I know lots of moms & grandmas I would not type as xSFJ (or even SJ) at all... I think my step-mom is an ESFP, for example.
    My aunts, who both are moms, are INFJ & ENFP.
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  8. #48
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    So many people seem to say something about their mom being uninterested in the deeper things, thus she's an S, sort of thing. Again in the societal impact area, I wonder if greater educational opportunities and just greater freedom for women have made a difference. I suspect you could end up with NT women forced to act like SJs, sort of thing, because their own real opportunities were ever to become housewives - I mean, surely the "frustrated/desperate housewife" stereotype isn't all made up of SJs? If they were SJs, perhaps they would be less frustrated...? (probably subscribing to stereotypes myself here, sorry)

    My mom went to university and got her Masters but then has been a housewife since she got married, though she does journalism on the side (more for her own satisfaction than for needing the income, as my dad supported us.) It just worked out that way for various reasons. She's very much her own person and very intellectually active - reads voraciously, etc - but though she's certainly fulfilled everything that a "housewife" is supposed to do, I know one of her problems has been boredom, too. She's a good cook, but one of the reasons that she didn't pass on a passion for cooking for me is that she doesn't have a passion for it...

    How would you even "know" that you had deep intellectual longings if you had no opportunity for them and grew up in an environment where there was little or no stimulation for it? A wider question, I guess.
    She's had plenty of opportunities and it just doesn't seem to appeal to her. Her primary interests seem to be romance and her job (sound familiar? )

    That, and her and I communicate with each other extremely well. It's like we're on the same wavelength. So she certainly could be an INFJ, but I'm simply more inclined toward ISFJ.
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  9. #49
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I suspect some of it is "I'm not ANYTHING like my mom!!!!111" from INTPs, which are disproportionately drawn to forums like this, it seems.

    My mom is so far from being ESFJ, haha. She's either INFP with mostly stereotypical S interests (suspect this) or a head-in-the-clouds ISFP with inattentive-ADD or similar that makes her seem N. Definitely no Fe, haha.
    -end of thread-

  10. #50
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I suspect some of it is "I'm not ANYTHING like my mom!!!!111" from INTPs, which are disproportionately drawn to forums like this, it seems.
    I think INTPs and INTJs both.

    I was going through the sticky thread on family types in the main MBTI forum. I was reading the posts before looking to see what type the forum member had posted as their own. There were an enormous number who said "I just can't talk to my mom...she's so boring and nosy...and she's ESFJ" who when I checked were either INTP or INTJ. In fact, I think most of the people who claimed ESFJ moms and made comments like that were INTx.
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