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  1. #1
    Member Alehand's Avatar
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    Default ISTJ - A practical example

    I usually prefer quiet observation to participation with people I dont know () but today I need to express myself and writing is my preferred medium, also to be honest I finished my vodka last night so I am bored before I pass out.

    So where to start...7 days and a few hours ago my Dad died. A shock that I know is going to take months for me to move pass.

    Sorry for rambling.

    Anyway lets see how much of my actions over the pass week are because I am an "emotionless robot" aka ISTJ (list time ):

    1) I called my family on the day of his passing to get them all back from overseas so we can bury him as a family, respect is all.

    2) I went and opened his business and kept it open except for this funeral so my mom and brother can eat, that includes the day he died.

    3) I resigned from my dreadful but good paying job so I can keep the business going until I can sell it. Easiest decision of the week.

    4) I have broken down once namely the day of the event because of shock, havent since because I am trying to save my family from imploding and keep his business going. That includes me identifying his body the next day.

    5) I delivered his eulogy because it was the right thing to do

    6) I have comforted people even though I dont understand why because I know thats what they need, even if I dont comprehend it.

    7) I am stressed and depressed but instead of showing it, I get self destructive

    8) I am paralysed by the multiple decisions I must make without sufficient time to investigate the evidence.

    9) I am being stubborn about making changes because my dad operated his way and it worked, why change.

    10) Despite all this I still find time to try help a girl, who I dont know if she cares about me the same way or wants a relationship or whatever, but I keep going because I know I am helping her with her depression by showing my hereto unknown to her "soft side".

    11) Annoyed at people telling me I need to support my family, WTF else should I do?

    Anyway I need to go and bottle some more emotions.

    Ciao
    Three things:

    "Reason is our soul's left hand, faith her right." - John Donne

    "Take honour from me and my life is done" - Shakespeare's Richard II

    "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

  2. #2
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    You need one of these: and although I do not know you, I appreciate all this hard work you are doing at such a stressful time.

    Be sure to post more, the sharing may help, and I wish you and your family all the best as you work through this.

    Take care of yourself too - stay away from too much vodka!
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Wow. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.

    You are amazing. I think you're doing a lot. No one should complain.

    I'm going to guess that you're not going to ease up on any of that, but just try to find time to take it easy if you can.

    The funny thing is, when SJs get into this habit, no matter how miserable they are, they just can't stop doing it.

    And to make matter worse, they refuse help because they're the "strong one".

    You might want to think about that and just ask for a little bit.

  4. #4
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Relax. Don't bottle your emotions, because one day that bottle will break. Chill out, tell people to shove it up their ass. Things will get better, but they have to get worse, or at least start from some lower point, before they do.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  5. #5
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    sorry about your dad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony
    tell people to shove it up their ass
    they can get over themselves. it sounds like you're taking care of everything very well.

  6. #6
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Sorry about your loss. Put *away* that vodka bottle. You ISTJs latch on to habits like a mother, and you don't need this one. Try chamomile tea instead.


    /shouldtakemyownadviceafterdrinkingashitloadofwhisk eyeachnighttofallasleep
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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    COCKBURN:

    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  7. #7
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss. You're a brick, and I know your family is grateful. They're lucky to have you.

  8. #8
    Member Alehand's Avatar
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    Default Update

    Right got another of vodka but keeping it in reserve for now.

    So update:
    1) I have finally gotten angry, blindingly so at my brother. The one I am working to feed. Brief history, he is slightly mental (retarded is the wrong word), I think autistic and my sister reckons bi-polar. Basically he is difficult and I usually am a lot more considerate with him.

    Here is why I got angry:
    - he has insisted that my Dad broke his promise about immigrating (my Dad wanted to go back to Portugal and retire or England to be with my nephew and sister)
    - swore at my mother...biggest crime in this family since my Dad lost his mom at an early age and refused any disrespect.
    - caused a f@!$ing fight with a cop and then expects sorry to be enough.

    Stupid little fool doesn't understand how much stress he is adding to us all, my Dad isnt even warm in his grave and this (insert swear words) has carried on is.

    Best part is now my Mom is angry at me for losing my temper (I put him in a choke hold...immature I know).

    2) My other brother (2 brothers), is so guilt ridden by ignoring my Dad for years and is now being a complete and utter (insert swear words). So now I have to manage his guilt so it doesn't spill into his only other emotional response, rage, so my family doesn't splinter.

    3) I am the youngest by a long shot but somehow I am head of the family now...Godfather was not like this.

    4) My employers think I haven't resigned, I was pretty clear. WTF.

    5) I am now also wrapping up his estate because my other brother cant be bothered.

    6) I want to give up but I know I cant...I hate having to fight myself.

    7) Radiohead is cheering me up...sad but true.

    8) I cant find time to go and gym...so I am binge eating, my negative response to life.

    9) I really want the vodka.

    10) I cant end on an odd number, if I have OCD I am committing myself.
    Three things:

    "Reason is our soul's left hand, faith her right." - John Donne

    "Take honour from me and my life is done" - Shakespeare's Richard II

    "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

  9. #9
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Re #1 Sounds like he deserved it.

    Have you ever seen "What's eating Gilbert Grape?"

  10. #10
    Member Alehand's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alehand View Post
    Right got another of vodka but keeping it in reserve for now.
    Ja. Deserved or not, cant react that, going to have some deep thinking.
    Three things:

    "Reason is our soul's left hand, faith her right." - John Donne

    "Take honour from me and my life is done" - Shakespeare's Richard II

    "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

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