I usually prefer quiet observation to participation with people I dont know () but today I need to express myself and writing is my preferred medium, also to be honest I finished my vodka last night so I am bored before I pass out.
So where to start...7 days and a few hours ago my Dad died. A shock that I know is going to take months for me to move pass.
Sorry for rambling.
Anyway lets see how much of my actions over the pass week are because I am an "emotionless robot" aka ISTJ (list time ):
1) I called my family on the day of his passing to get them all back from overseas so we can bury him as a family, respect is all.
2) I went and opened his business and kept it open except for this funeral so my mom and brother can eat, that includes the day he died.
3) I resigned from my dreadful but good paying job so I can keep the business going until I can sell it. Easiest decision of the week.
4) I have broken down once namely the day of the event because of shock, havent since because I am trying to save my family from imploding and keep his business going. That includes me identifying his body the next day.
5) I delivered his eulogy because it was the right thing to do
6) I have comforted people even though I dont understand why because I know thats what they need, even if I dont comprehend it.
7) I am stressed and depressed but instead of showing it, I get self destructive
8) I am paralysed by the multiple decisions I must make without sufficient time to investigate the evidence.
9) I am being stubborn about making changes because my dad operated his way and it worked, why change.
10) Despite all this I still find time to try help a girl, who I dont know if she cares about me the same way or wants a relationship or whatever, but I keep going because I know I am helping her with her depression by showing my hereto unknown to her "soft side".
11) Annoyed at people telling me I need to support my family, WTF else should I do?
Anyway I need to go and bottle some more emotions.
I am very sorry about the passing of your dad...I know I don't know you, but if you're managing to do all of those things while grieving, you're doing much better than I ever could.
Originally Posted by Synarch
I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
"Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary
"Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain