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  1. #11
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Alehand,

    I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my father suddenly when I was 19 years old, so I know how such a thing feels. It s not easy to lose someone. Even if you can see it coming. My father lost his mother at 12...seems to parallel your family a bit.
    The advise to not stuff your emotions is very good. It's important to feel them, so the stuffing of them doesn't become a platform for bad habits, like drinking or drugging, etc. I thought, for years, that I had dealt with what happened, but years later, I realized that I had not, and it caused me all sorts of grief. I don't know if that's avoidable, frankly, because things take their own time, but it's worth finding someone you can trust, who will allow you to say and feel whatever you need to. Doesn't have to be a therapist. A friend or relative will do.
    Good luck to you, Alehand.

  2. #12
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    You said you aren't a huggy person but too bad. There's another one!

    I'm sorry about the whole situation. Two things:
    1) Stop bottling your feelings up like that! Yes I know you're an ISTJ, but at the same time I know from experience that A Little Help From Your Friends can make a huge difference. As well as other things that I will allude to later in the post. Either way, denying your feelings now will just make them worse later, as you have already learned.
    Also, talking to people can lead to second opinions and advice on how to go about things -- which is always helpful, for me. A load off your back, perhaps!
    2) Put away the vodka, and put away the food you were about to binge on. There are healthier ways to cope! If you start a cycle now, it's going to escalate even further out of control as time goes on. Grief is a journey and you want to get on the best possible path early on.

    My grandmother died a few months ago and my mom (INFJ type 1, another type likely to bottle up emotions and binge on unhealthy things when stressed) has started going to a bereavement support group, and says that it's really helping her out. I would recommend something similar. It's always good to talk to people who are going through similar things.

    (Sorry, my Te got a little out of control there. Ignore me if you want. I think I overreached. Either way, good luck with everything. Stay strong!)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  3. #13
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    When @EJCC 's Te gets out of hand, we send her to the corner to knit.

  4. #14
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    When @EJCC 's Te gets out of hand, we send her to the corner to knit.
    <-- sad to be punished
    <-- but happy to have knitting time!
    *gets out crafting supplies*
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    <-- sad to be punished
    <-- but happy to have knitting time!
    *gets out crafting supplies*
    I didn't really think it was out of hand. I just need a scarf.

  6. #16
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I didn't really think it was out of hand. I just need a scarf.


    How long? How thick? What color(s)? Fringe? Pom-poms? Neither? Do you like stripes? Do you like ribbing?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #17
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Exactly like this. Big, bulky, same color. It'll be getting cold soon. *shivers*



    edit: Sorry to Aleland for dirtying his thread.

  8. #18
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    We are not dirtying it! We are preparing it for winter.

    Do you want your scarf in that color, too? (b/c I think a lighter, softer gray would really compliment your pink hair.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #19
    Member Alehand's Avatar
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    It's alright Giggly, life is messy.

    I need to sleep.
    Three things:

    "Reason is our soul's left hand, faith her right." - John Donne

    "Take honour from me and my life is done" - Shakespeare's Richard II

    "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

  10. #20
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    *hugs* Alehand. My heart wishes it could give you a hug.

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