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  1. #1
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Default SJ's, what are your thoughts on responsibility?

    I'd like to hear directly from SJ's about what you think about responsibilities.

    My thoughts are that responsibilities suck in a big way. Seriously.

    BUT, and I thought I would never say this but for some twisted reason, I've noticed that I'm happier having responsibilities, than without having them. Without them I just feel... blegh, not good about myself. The trick for me that I figured out is that I do best when I pick the responsibilities myself, rather than someone else dumping them on me without me even asking, or when they are delivered/given to me in a caring and respectful way. And although I may get tired, I still feel compelled to do them, and I am happier for it while I'm taking care of my responsibilities and afterwards.*

    I think being an SFJ vs STJ might be a little different but I am curious about what other SJs think.




    (* please note that I did not mention in this post about dumping responsibilities on others. This thread isn't about that and should not be inferred from what I've said here)
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  2. #2
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Default

    bumped for SJs attention

  3. #3
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I'd like to hear directly from SJ's about what you think about responsibilities.

    My thoughts are that responsibilities suck in a big way. Seriously.

    BUT, and I thought I would never say this but for some twisted reason, I've noticed that I'm happier having responsibilities, than without having them. Without them I just feel... blegh, not good about myself. The trick for me that I figured out is that I do best when I pick the responsibilities myself, rather than someone else dumping them on me without me even asking, or when they are delivered/given to me in a caring and respectful way. And although I may get tired, I still feel compelled to do them, and I am happier for it while I'm taking care of my responsibilities and afterwards.*

    I think being an SFJ vs STJ might be a little different but I am curious about what other SJs think.
    I think it is different for SFJs, just in that STJs are less likely to have problems with people dumping responsibilities on them. In that situation, I would agree that they suck, but I think it might be an IxFJ problem in general to feel like you have to do everything for everyone, and resenting that. xSTJs, on the other hand, are more likely to say "It's their problem and not mine" and avoid the responsibilities that they know they can't handle. (I dunno about other ESTJs, but I'm pretty good about not overburdening myself -- I am very aware of when I start to get burned out and I avoid it at all costs. My family sometimes worries that I'm a potential slacker, because I'm so protective of what little free time I have. But it's my way of staying sane, with all the work I do!*)

    I agree with everything you said about being happier with responsibilities, though. I know from experience how depressing it is to be without them. It's good to have a purpose, you know? Makes you feel good about yourself.


    *btw I blame that persistent miscommunication for the fact that I turned into a type 1.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  4. #4
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    heh Thanks, @EJCC. I didn't even think about the ESTJs having the "it's their problem, not mine" attitude but that's so true. ESTJs rule!

  5. #5
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    heh Thanks, @EJCC. I didn't even think about the ESTJs having the "it's their problem, not mine" attitude but that's so true. ESTJs rule!
    Thanks!

    Key exception to that rule: when other people's f*ck-ups could potentially mess with the ESTJ -- i.e. when it becomes our problem. In which case we bust out the Te and lay down the law.

    (Also -- and I think you'd agree with this -- most of the time, SJs have a very, very strong sense of responsibility towards close friends and family, which means that the "not my problem" thing almost never applies to them.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #6
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Thanks!

    Key exception to that rule: when other people's f*ck-ups could potentially mess with the ESTJ -- i.e. when it becomes our problem. In which case we bust out the Te and lay down the law.
    I seem to find myself doing this a lot these days and it is so. freaking. hard. I HATE yelling at people and being the bad guy, even when I know I'm in the right.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    (Also -- and I think you'd agree with this -- most of the time, SJs have a very, very strong sense of responsibility towards close friends and family, which means that the "not my problem" thing almost never applies to them.)
    True. The exception to this rule for me however is my younger brother who has consistent proven himself to be a mooch and a user. I don't deal with moochers, especially ones with a sense of entitlement

    To answer the OP: How I feel about taking on a responsibility depends who and/or what it applies too. I like being responsible for caring for a friend who is sick. I do not like being responsible for watching over a group of irresponsible, immature coworkers. The former because I care about my friends and want to see them get better and the latter because I intensely dislike it when people don't take their duties seriously. My opinion is that if you're going to take a job then do the best you can at it. When I'm working with someone who doesn't want to be there, who isn't interested in doing the best they can....well, it just makes me think, "Why are you wasting my time?".
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  7. #7
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #8
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    True. The exception to this rule for me however is my younger brother who has consistent proven himself to be a mooch and a user. I don't deal with moochers, especially ones with a sense of entitlement
    When I'm working with someone who doesn't want to be there, who isn't interested in doing the best they can....well, it just makes me think, "Why are you wasting my time?".
    These are good points. There is that element of "Does this person deserve my help?" or "Would it do any good to waste my energy on this person?" If no, then that person needs to gtfo and deal with their problems elsewhere! I don't want to have to pick up after you -- that shouldn't be my job.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great.
    ! Exactly!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  9. #9
    Junior Member Ant17's Avatar
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    Responsibility is mandatory. I will be a parent soon and if I didn't believe that I had to be responsible, then my child or children (it's till too early to tell) may end up really screwing up, because I didn't take responsibility and raise them like a healthy parent.

  10. #10
    The Iron Giant
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great.
    Yeah, this is how I feel. Commitments give me direction, and with them, I feel like I'm being put to some use. In fact, I think I'm effectively tireless at such things, provided I don't feel like I'm wasting my time.

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