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[SJ] SJ's, what are your thoughts on responsibility?

Giggly

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I'd like to hear directly from SJ's about what you think about responsibilities.

My thoughts are that responsibilities suck in a big way. Seriously.

BUT, and I thought I would never say this but for some twisted reason, I've noticed that I'm happier having responsibilities, than without having them. Without them I just feel... blegh, not good about myself. The trick for me that I figured out is that I do best when I pick the responsibilities myself, rather than someone else dumping them on me without me even asking, or when they are delivered/given to me in a caring and respectful way. And although I may get tired, I still feel compelled to do them, and I am happier for it while I'm taking care of my responsibilities and afterwards.*

I think being an SFJ vs STJ might be a little different but I am curious about what other SJs think.




(* please note that I did not mention in this post about dumping responsibilities on others. This thread isn't about that and should not be inferred from what I've said here)
 

Giggly

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bumped for SJs attention
 

EJCC

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I'd like to hear directly from SJ's about what you think about responsibilities.

My thoughts are that responsibilities suck in a big way. Seriously.

BUT, and I thought I would never say this but for some twisted reason, I've noticed that I'm happier having responsibilities, than without having them. Without them I just feel... blegh, not good about myself. The trick for me that I figured out is that I do best when I pick the responsibilities myself, rather than someone else dumping them on me without me even asking, or when they are delivered/given to me in a caring and respectful way. And although I may get tired, I still feel compelled to do them, and I am happier for it while I'm taking care of my responsibilities and afterwards.*

I think being an SFJ vs STJ might be a little different but I am curious about what other SJs think.
I think it is different for SFJs, just in that STJs are less likely to have problems with people dumping responsibilities on them. In that situation, I would agree that they suck, but I think it might be an IxFJ problem in general to feel like you have to do everything for everyone, and resenting that. xSTJs, on the other hand, are more likely to say "It's their problem and not mine" and avoid the responsibilities that they know they can't handle. (I dunno about other ESTJs, but I'm pretty good about not overburdening myself -- I am very aware of when I start to get burned out and I avoid it at all costs. My family sometimes worries that I'm a potential slacker, because I'm so protective of what little free time I have. But it's my way of staying sane, with all the work I do!*)

I agree with everything you said about being happier with responsibilities, though. I know from experience how depressing it is to be without them. It's good to have a purpose, you know? :) Makes you feel good about yourself.


*btw I blame that persistent miscommunication for the fact that I turned into a type 1.
 

Giggly

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heh Thanks, [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]. I didn't even think about the ESTJs having the "it's their problem, not mine" attitude but that's so true. ESTJs rule!
 

EJCC

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heh Thanks, [MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]. I didn't even think about the ESTJs having the "it's their problem, not mine" attitude but that's so true. ESTJs rule!
Thanks! :)

Key exception to that rule: when other people's f*ck-ups could potentially mess with the ESTJ -- i.e. when it becomes our problem. In which case we bust out the Te and lay down the law. :cop:

(Also -- and I think you'd agree with this -- most of the time, SJs have a very, very strong sense of responsibility towards close friends and family, which means that the "not my problem" thing almost never applies to them.)
 

tinker683

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Thanks! :)

Key exception to that rule: when other people's f*ck-ups could potentially mess with the ESTJ -- i.e. when it becomes our problem. In which case we bust out the Te and lay down the law. :cop:

I seem to find myself doing this a lot these days and it is so. freaking. hard. I HATE yelling at people and being the bad guy, even when I know I'm in the right.

(Also -- and I think you'd agree with this -- most of the time, SJs have a very, very strong sense of responsibility towards close friends and family, which means that the "not my problem" thing almost never applies to them.)
True. The exception to this rule for me however is my younger brother who has consistent proven himself to be a mooch and a user. I don't deal with moochers, especially ones with a sense of entitlement :thumbdown:

To answer the OP: How I feel about taking on a responsibility depends who and/or what it applies too. I like being responsible for caring for a friend who is sick. I do not like being responsible for watching over a group of irresponsible, immature coworkers. The former because I care about my friends and want to see them get better and the latter because I intensely dislike it when people don't take their duties seriously. My opinion is that if you're going to take a job then do the best you can at it. When I'm working with someone who doesn't want to be there, who isn't interested in doing the best they can....well, it just makes me think, "Why are you wasting my time?".
 

Cimarron

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Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great. :)
 

EJCC

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True. The exception to this rule for me however is my younger brother who has consistent proven himself to be a mooch and a user. I don't deal with moochers, especially ones with a sense of entitlement :thumbdown:
When I'm working with someone who doesn't want to be there, who isn't interested in doing the best they can....well, it just makes me think, "Why are you wasting my time?".
These are good points. :yes: There is that element of "Does this person deserve my help?" or "Would it do any good to waste my energy on this person?" If no, then that person needs to gtfo and deal with their problems elsewhere! I don't want to have to pick up after you -- that shouldn't be my job.
Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great. :)
:yes: ! Exactly!
 

Ant17

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Responsibility is mandatory. I will be a parent soon and if I didn't believe that I had to be responsible, then my child or children (it's till too early to tell) may end up really screwing up, because I didn't take responsibility and raise them like a healthy parent.
 
T

The Iron Giant

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Despite the stress of added expectation, I find myself kind of enjoying more responsibility. I've got to wonder why. Really, I think it's the way people have entrusted me, putting their faith in my competence, skill, and effort. Having that extra trust from others feels great. :)

Yeah, this is how I feel. Commitments give me direction, and with them, I feel like I'm being put to some use. In fact, I think I'm effectively tireless at such things, provided I don't feel like I'm wasting my time.
 

Alehand

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Hmmm.

It is a tiresome burden. You get worn down, chewed up and left to ponder the depressing meaning of it all, especially when you try and meet your responsibilities but cannot see the end of the task. Many times I have contemplated running off into the wild and living like a bushman.

Yet...in a sense, it gives me a little bit of structure, a goal to achieve (knowingly or not) and a drive to face and conquer a new challenge. Without it, I feel a little lost, off track and unnecessary. Maybe it is the STJ in me.

The thing is I can see or derive a sense of responsibility from anything, doing the dishes to making sure my friends and family can rely on me.

I have found the trick to the burden of being responsible, is fighting the right battles, the right way, at the right time. That is a trick, that I learn and adapt to constantly.
 

Giggly

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Hmmm.

It is a tiresome burden. You get worn down, chewed up and left to ponder the depressing meaning of it all, especially when you try and meet your responsibilities but cannot see the end of the task. Many times I have contemplated running off into the wild and living like a bushman.

Yet...in a sense, it gives me a little bit of structure, a goal to achieve (knowingly or not) and a drive to face and conquer a new challenge. Without it, I feel a little lost, off track and unnecessary. Maybe it is the STJ in me.

The thing is I can see or derive a sense of responsibility from anything, doing the dishes to making sure my friends and family can rely on me.

I have found the trick to the burden of being responsible, is fighting the right battles, the right way, at the right time. That is a trick, that I learn and adapt to constantly.

I think that you deserve a lot more appreciation.
 

tinker683

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Hmmm.

It is a tiresome burden. You get worn down, chewed up and left to ponder the depressing meaning of it all, especially when you try and meet your responsibilities but cannot see the end of the task. Many times I have contemplated running off into the wild and living like a bushman.

Yet...in a sense, it gives me a little bit of structure, a goal to achieve (knowingly or not) and a drive to face and conquer a new challenge. Without it, I feel a little lost, off track and unnecessary. Maybe it is the STJ in me.

The thing is I can see or derive a sense of responsibility from anything, doing the dishes to making sure my friends and family can rely on me.

I have found the trick to the burden of being responsible, is fighting the right battles, the right way, at the right time. That is a trick, that I learn and adapt to constantly.

I think that you deserve a lot more appreciation.

+1! Thats definitely a good bit of insight there :)
 

Alehand

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Just got home from a live show, slightly drunk...you guys mind telling the girl I like that I she should like me back?

Night from my timezone and thanks for the appreciation.
 

RaptorWizard

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I'm no SJ but I would imagine there are probably some NFs who are ultra uber responcible because of their strong desire to serve society and their rigid codes of ethics whereas some SJ and in particular STJs might be more pragmatic and rebellious in their thoughts and actions.
 

EJCC

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Hmmm.

It is a tiresome burden. You get worn down, chewed up and left to ponder the depressing meaning of it all, especially when you try and meet your responsibilities but cannot see the end of the task. Many times I have contemplated running off into the wild and living like a bushman.

Yet...in a sense, it gives me a little bit of structure, a goal to achieve (knowingly or not) and a drive to face and conquer a new challenge. Without it, I feel a little lost, off track and unnecessary. Maybe it is the STJ in me.

The thing is I can see or derive a sense of responsibility from anything, doing the dishes to making sure my friends and family can rely on me.

I have found the trick to the burden of being responsible, is fighting the right battles, the right way, at the right time. That is a trick, that I learn and adapt to constantly.
Great, great post. I relate completely, and agree wholeheartedly.
[MENTION=4398]Giggly[/MENTION] is right, too. :yes:
I'm no SJ but I would imagine there are probably some NFs who are ultra uber responcible because of their strong desire to serve society and their rigid codes of ethics whereas some SJ and in particular STJs might be more pragmatic and rebellious in their thoughts and actions.
Totally. The reason why I tend to befriend NFs is because so many of them are extremely principled. My INFJ friends -- especially the 1s and 9w1s -- fit your description to a T. And the NFPs I know might not necessarily be "responsible", but they try extremely hard to be, when they find it necessary.

On the other hand, I know an ISTJ whose moral code involves the principle that it's every man for himself in the end, and who constantly rebels against her family, her friends, and society as a whole. She's the perfect example of how an ISTJ under particular circumstances can come across as disloyal and self-involved -- as opposed to self-sacrificing and loyal to a fault, as is the stereotype for most ISTJs.
 

Sil

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I'd like to hear directly from SJ's about what you think about responsibilities.

My thoughts are that responsibilities suck in a big way. Seriously.

BUT, and I thought I would never say this but for some twisted reason, I've noticed that I'm happier having responsibilities, than without having them. Without them I just feel... blegh, not good about myself. The trick for me that I figured out is that I do best when I pick the responsibilities myself, rather than someone else dumping them on me without me even asking, or when they are delivered/given to me in a caring and respectful way. And although I may get tired, I still feel compelled to do them, and I am happier for it while I'm taking care of my responsibilities and afterwards.*

I think being an SFJ vs STJ might be a little different but I am curious about what other SJs think.

(* please note that I did not mention in this post about dumping responsibilities on others. This thread isn't about that and should not be inferred from what I've said here)

They're a byproduct of having goals, so they're fine with me.

Personally, I don't let people dump their responsibilities on me. I did when I was first starting out in my career, but no mas. I'd rather let things fail then pick up the work of someone else. At the end of the day, most things that seem like a big life-breaking issue aren't. Things break, the world keeps moving.

My biggest issue is keeping an interest in my goals. If I lose interest in whatever it is I'm pursuing, the responsibility part also flies out the window.

#thisonehascommitmentissues
 

-Beatriz

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I think responsability is VERY important. When you're responsible you do better in life, period. By being responsible you get the best careers, the best relationships, the best future possibilities. There's no disadvantage about it. People who are irresponsible and don't care about anything and think life is just one big party annoy the heck out of me. Sorry not sorry.
 

Yama

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I amm all teh reponzibles.

Actually, I'm probably too responsible sometimes. I'm easily subjected to social obligation/pressure and it makes me kind of bitter, but I can't complain because I don't speak up about it, so I have to suffer to fate I set out for myself.
 

ceecee

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They're a byproduct of having goals, so they're fine with me.

Personally, I don't let people dump their responsibilities on me. I did when I was first starting out in my career, but no mas. I'd rather let things fail then pick up the work of someone else. At the end of the day, most things that seem like a big life-breaking issue aren't. Things break, the world keeps moving.

My biggest issue is keeping an interest in my goals. If I lose interest in whatever it is I'm pursuing, the responsibility part also flies out the window.

#thisonehascommitmentissues

Because I test as an ISTJ enough for me to think it's applicable, I'm going to comment here. I don't let anyone dump things on me - your problem is not my problem, is how I look at it. On the flip side, I sometimes have a tendency take responsibility for things that I'm not responsible for, such as things with our children or things in my own environment/surroundings. I often wonder how much being an e8 has to do with that and while I don't identify with many SJ traits, this one I do.
 
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