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  1. #1
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    Default ISTJ males: How do you feel about INFJ women?

    I'm just curious because I just realised that two guys, one who has liked me forever, and one who I liked forever were very ISTJish. But recently my type changed from ESTJ to INFJ and I'm wondering how I can hope to expect our relationships to change from here. I get the feeling like they won't like me, that ISTJ males and INFJ females don't get along. Is this true?
    Thank you for any/all responses.

  2. #2
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    I would delete this thread if I could.

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Yea, its pretty unhealthy to think that because you yourself colored your hair a different color that wouldnt change you. If I'd tell you that I think you are ISFJ, it wouldnt as well change the fact that you will always be you
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Yea, its pretty unhealthy to think that because you yourself colored your hair a different color that wouldnt change you. If I'd tell you that I think you are ISFJ, it wouldnt as well change the fact that you will always be you
    yes But people can change.

  5. #5
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    yes and people can never be put into boxes too. Therefore your type code only says about you what you give into it and seen from that perspective you're free and dont serve type code boundaries
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #6
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    yes and people can never be put into boxes too. Therefore your type code only says about you what you give into it and seen from that perspective you're free and dont serve type code boundaries
    Yeah, I see what you are saying. Kind of the same reason I dislike the "NFs what do you think of ENTPs" thread.

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Type theory is good for finding yourself, just go beyond type theory at some point and create your singl own type. Dont end up like some people stuck here trieing to explain the whole word in 4 letterts having 10k posts
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Type theory is good for finding yourself, just go beyond type theory at some point and create your singl own type. Dont end up like some people stuck here trieing to explain the whole word in 4 letterts having 10k posts

  9. #9
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I'm ISTJ, and my girlfriend is INFJ.

    So far, we seem to be a very good match. We being introverted and judging, we find it easy to get along. Neither of us is overtly dominant or assertive, nor too easy-going to be distressing. We both are perfectly fine spending weekends just by the two of us, on a sofa, maybe watching a film or talking about a book (Game of Thrones). I also understand that INFJs can be highly neurotic people, so I try to give her the space she needs with that (like being patient while she checks the windows and doors for the 3rd time before going out).

    On the otherhand, she's NF and I'm ST. I find she's quite often concerned with how she's feeling about people around her, or how they're feeling about her. She really likes to overanalyze whatever people say to her. This can cause problems with ST people, who often just say things without hidden agendas. It's like NF people are very personal and emotionally attached to anything they do or say. ST people on the other hand are the complete opposite. We rare emotionally attach ourselves to things we say or do. We merely say what we have observed.

    Here's an interesting pattern:

    INFJ: "So, how was it?"
    ISTJ: *long explanation, telling what was there and what happened*
    INFJ: "...so how was it? :| You never told me how you felt about it."

    S-N barrier can be a huge thing, but can als be worked over if both sides are willing to listen the other. Luckily my girlfriend is also interested in psychology (well, atleast in dog personality But I've almost felt that if I was an animal, I'd be dog), so it's quite easy to explain the concepts of N and S. Together we have even read some pseudo-psychology books (such as "Is he your TYPE?", a book which takes a look in dating through four temperaments), and that makes it easier to understand each other.


    INFJs like ISTJs because they find ISTJ's dependability to be something out of this world. Because INFJs can be neurotic, a safe ISTJ is a welcomed sight. ISTJs are also often humble and down-to-earth, which may appeal to INFJs who hate faking more than anything. However, ISTJs might be seen as boring and unwilling to speak about their feelings in a romantic relationships. This can be a huge turnoff for an INFJ, who seeks to understand and improve relationships all the time. They could really feel like ISTJs would not be willing or able to develop a deep relationship.

    ISTJs like INFJs for their ability to express/analyze/handle emotions. ISTJs also appreciate people who can stand for something, and INFJs can be as idealistic as they come. ISTJs like people who can commit and be dependable. While INFJs are as not dutiful as ISTJs, they can still go great lengths to help their friends. But ISTJs can feel that INFJs are constantly overreacting and misunderstanding them on purpose all the time. Their idealism can also seem petty and naive to a pragmatic ISTJ, who just wants to get the things done, regardless the scenario.

    Strengths: Dependablity, trust, matching energy levels
    Dangerers: Miscommunication, feelings of trapment and being controlled by the other, nagging
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  10. #10
    Senior Member amerellis's Avatar
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    edit: paranoid
    Last edited by amerellis; 09-05-2011 at 08:24 PM.

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