So here are some thoughts I had about my own INFP 4w5 views on ISFJs. Maybe it could be a sort of guide?
Talk to us about how things should be.
We're both good at doing this and we both enjoy it, so just talk about it. We both want life to slow down and we both want everyone to stop and smell the roses. Our reasons for doing this may be different, but we both agree on the fundamentals. We see you as a type of MBTI cousin; the same, but different. You would do well to make good use of us in an intellectual and imaginative sense. We know that you already know this, but it's worth reiterating. We can judge your Se and can tell you when it's taking you overboard. You're nice enough not to let our admonishments hurt you too much. When this happens, talk to us about why we both got bent out of shape, about how things should be and why you think you overindulge in Se at times. We can give you good, useful and friendly advice.
You want to be all things to all people but remember to put us somewhere near the top of your list - we will not betray you, which is your secret fear. INFPs have their core principles and one of them is integrity. Don't ever arrive late to meet us because you were busy trying to please all and sundry. This makes us think that other people are higher on the list than us. We realise that you enjoy other people for the various qualities they bring you, but do not spurn us. You'll never find a more loyal ally. When you're backed into a corner, you'll find us already hiding in the shadow. That's where we like to hang out. No-one bothers us there.
Don't look at us like freaks because we'd rather stay at home and read than go out all night!
We know you're in Se overload all the time but understand that we recharge by being alone or by doing quiet activities. Going to watch 10 bands play all-night long is good once in a while, but most of the time it just sounds like a terrible drain! Don't look at us as killjoys; just respect our quiet time. You can come back and tell us about your adventures - we always like to hear about them.
Don't worry about letting us down.
I know we're quite aloof but we like you a lot. You're a lot less effort than a lot of other people and you never get annoyed at us if we want to talk about poetry or wax lyrical about the injustice of life. If you're an ISFJ 7, then we like your fun, optimistic attitude because it's inoffensive and you don't make us feel bad about feeling down. If you're an ISFJ 9, then your softness is enjoyable and it's fun to tease you a little bit about your desire to play "happy family!!!" We don't worry about you letting us down; you shouldn't worry either.
You're quite good at doing that and we INFPs always need reassurance! Don't be fake about it, though; we can spot that.
Collude with us!
Come and find us hiding in the corner at a house party. You'll enjoy our wry commentary on everything and everyone. You fancy our iNtuition and we know it. Come and stroke our ego. Flattery gets you everywhere. You are immediately disarming because we know that you are not deceptive. We've got your number right from the start...
Teach us about Sensing. Please.
We know it's good for us but it's so bloody hard to get out of bed or off the sofa. We need your enthusiasm about life and we need you to talk to us in a language we understand. Tell us how great it'll be and how we can forget about all the other fuckers in life who don't know what they're missing. We want you to take us out or play some sport - as long as you're not too competitive - because we secretly know it'll do us good. The easier you make it for us, the more likely we are to join you in your Sense-fest.
Don't be upset if we're moody.
It's probably not your fault. In fact, it's almost certainly not, or we would've told you by now. Wait for an hour and then ask us what the problem is; any earlier and you'll just get Fi rage. Nobody really likes that. Not even us.