[MBTI General] I may have a problem with SFJ men......

[Giggly]

You don't have to lie to kick it, it makes you Si doms feel strong and confident. "Oh dear you lost little ENFP, I have to help you. Why, how did you even manage to survive before you met me, you cute little silly thing?"

Real conversation had with an Si dom a few days ago, "I am your savior. I am saving you."

Our ideas are cool sometimes too, dammit.

It happens in Si-aux, too. My ESFJ used to call me his stray kitten.

Maybe this is Fe combined with Si,though.

Maybe STJs are more annoyed by it.

This isn't the reason I like Ne. I'm attracted to Ne playfulness and creativity, especially when it's positive. Can't get enough of that. I also love Se.

I do have the natural tendency to take care of my loved ones, and to take in the "stray dog", but I don't find myself ever attracted to a man for a romantic relationship BECAUSE of those reasons. It's usually something else that attracts me.

 

[Thalassa]

This isn't the reason I like Ne. I'm attracted to Ne playfulness and creativity, especially when it's positive. Can't get enough of that. I also love Se.

I do have the natural tendency to take care of my loved ones, and to take in the "stray dog", but I don't find myself ever attracted to a man for a romantic relationship BECAUSE of those reasons. It's usually something else that attracts me.

Yeah I was semi-joking. I think there's truth to it, but obviously it's not the whole story.

 

[Giggly]

Yeah I was semi-joking. I think there's truth to it, but obviously it's not the whole story.

I do too. I've experienced it before from the ENFP angle you described, except that I'm ISFJ and it was a Thinker man who did it. I think maybe some men just do that with women? But I can definitely see how Si would make that tendency even more pronounced. I know I feel extremely protective and nurturing of my loved ones.

 

[Thalassa]

I do too. I've experienced it before from the ENFP angle you described, except that I'm ISFJ and it was a Thinker man who did it. I think maybe some men just do that with women? But I can definitely see how Si would make that tendency even more pronounced. I know I feel extremely protective and nurturing of my loved ones.

I think, specifically, with the ENFP female - SJ male dynamic there's a compliment of the switching of the dom and inferior functions. Ne is my dom, an ISxJs inf, and vice versa, so there can be this appreciation of each others opposing strengths. Si doms seem more grounded and sensible to me, and they usually are more physically structured/stable than me, so I feel like they actually provide something I need, and I don't just mean they should physically take care of me...lol...I mean they can look at things from a different angle and just remind me to see things in a different way, and I appreciate it sometimes because I have Si-inferior so I'm able to see the validity in it?

For some reason I find it more stifling in STJs though for some reason. STJ seems more rigid to me, maybe it's the combination of Si and Te, so with SFJs the Fe softens the Si and meets my need to feel like someone "understands" or whatever.

So yeah I'm sure this dynamic happens most often with men acting this way toward women, and I could see thinker male acting that way toward feeling female, and just the entire thing playing itself out in slightly variable ways depending on the functions and how they compliment or clash with one another.

 

[Giggly]

I think, specifically, with the ENFP female - SJ male dynamic there's a compliment of the switching of the dom and inferior functions. Ne is my dom, an ISxJs inf, and vice versa, so there can be this appreciation of each others opposing strengths.

That's a cool theory. I could see how the appreciation could be increased when the dom and inferior functions are opposites.

 

[Thalassa]

That's a cool theory. I could see how the appreciation could be increased when the dom and inferior functions are opposites.

It's one of the compatibility theories, there are schools of thought that say you should be with your total opposite because they have the same exact functions, just flipped.

However, I prefer SFJs over STJs, and I think that's because Feeling is my most prominant function. I too often feel like NTs think I'm crazily emotional and STJs just want me to be more grounded and "act right."

I feel more frustration with being judged by Ts, in my experience.

There's no one right way to decide compatibility, though. Some ENFPs would rather be with INFJs, INTJs, or ISTPs.

 

[EJCC]

You don't have to lie to kick it, it makes you Si doms feel strong and confident. "Oh dear you lost little ENFP, I have to help you. Why, how did you even manage to survive before you met me, you cute little silly thing?"

Real conversation had with an Si dom a few days ago, "I am your savior. I am saving you."

Our ideas are cool sometimes too, dammit.

It happens in Si-aux, too. My ESFJ used to call me his stray kitten.

Maybe this is Fe combined with Si,though.

Maybe STJs are more annoyed by it.

I think it is more Fe. STJs are also very protective, but they don't "adopt" people like that. Fi and Si shows itself most when something actually threatens their SO - then you get anything from a gravely and seriously spoken "Can I do anything to help? Let me know and I'll do it, no questions asked." to a righteously indignant "They have no right to treat you like that! I'll make sure they NEVER get away with this again!! SO HELP ME GOD!"

Tinker's avatar is a great example of Fe/Si protectiveness. Whereas with Fi(/Te)/Si protectiveness you get this:

"You hurt my loved one and I will fucking KILL you!"

Like angry Te-bitchslapping ENFPs

 

[Thalassa]

Yep, when ENFPs are in Te bitch slapping mode it pretty much does manifest as the STJ "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU HURT MY LOVED ONE."

Yep.

And there's supposed to be some understanding with that, like yes, I get that way too.

I often felt like my ISTJ grandfather and I had some weird unspoken understanding of each other when I was growing up, until I was a teenager then I felt like he wanted me caged.

 

[Giggly]

It's one of the compatibility theories, there are schools of thought that say you should be with your total opposite because they have the same exact functions, just flipped.

Oh yes I've heard of it. From of all people, simulatedworld. At one point, he commented about how he wanted to date an ISFJ. I was like why, and he said because they were his functional opposite. That sounds like crazy talk to me and a recipe for disaster.

There's no one right way to decide compatibility, though. Some ENFPs would rather be with INFJs, INTJs, or ISTPs.

dont forget ISTJs! lol

I feel more frustration with being judged by Ts, in my experience.

Some TJ males and ENTP males give me this feeling. Not all but some do. It's very intimidating to me.

Tinker's avatar is a great example of Fe/Si protectiveness. Whereas with Fi(/Te)/Si protectiveness you get this:

"You hurt my loved one and I will fucking KILL you!"

Hilarious.
I dunno, if the right buttons are pushed, I can get like that to (think mother bear) and then afterwards I'll want to cuddle and nuture the person I'm protecting. If the offender happens to be my loved one then it takes a lot more before be angry with them but when I show it, it'll be swift and then I go back to normal afterwards. I only really hold grudges against someone if there's been prolonged and persistent irritation.

PS - look at what we've done to IZ's thread. hehe

 

[EJCC]

Oh yes I've heard of it. From of all people, simulatedworld. At one point, he commented about how he wanted to date an ISFJ. I was like why, and he said because they were his functional opposite. That sounds like crazy talk to me and a recipe for disaster.

From my experience with Fi-doms, I agree. It would be a ticking time bomb; I accidentally walk all over their sensitive Fi, they don't say anything about it for a long time and then they explode at me, and I get so freaked out that I pack up and leave -- or I walk all over their Fi, they start barraging me with passive-aggressive remarks, and I explode at them, and one of us packs up and leaves.

Not good. I think I'd do better with an xNFJ, personally. I get along well with them. I just "get" them, for some reason. As long as they aren't passive-aggressive.

Hilarious.
I dunno, if the right buttons are pushed, I can get like that to (think mother bear) and then afterwards I'll want to cuddle and nuture the person I'm protecting. If the offender happens to be my loved one then it takes a lot more before be angry with them but when I show it, it'll be swift and then I go back to normal afterwards. I only really hold grudges against someone if there's been prolonged and persistent irritation.

@bold: That's actually really good to know. ISFJs remind me so much of INFJs that I always feel like if you wrong them once, they will react like INFJs and never forgive you ever for the rest of your life and even after you're dead and they SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

PS - look at what we've done to IZ's thread. hehe

It's the Ne!

 

[Thalassa]

It's the Ne!

Totally.

 

[tinker683]

Most of the time adorably wrong? :steam:

*sighs* I'll let it slide...this time. Because you're so nice. *pouts*

Oh Marmie...if you're this easily provoked then I'm going to have way too much fun with you

(All in good fun of course)

That being said...I don't like making you pout

I wasn't insulted by the stray kitten comments he made, I thought it was sweet and it made me feel safe. He didn't say it in a condescending manner.

I could see that....I just always felt like it was kind of demeaning, like I was someone implying to her that she wasn't this strong, independent woman. But I suppose that's just me

 

[Thalassa]

Oh Marmie...if you're this easily provoked then I'm going to have way too much fun with you

(All in good fun of course)

That being said...I don't like making you pout

Ha ha I'm just joking. If that really bothered me I could never talk to JTG as much as I do. I get taunted with "ISFJ knows best" on a weekly if not daily basis.

I could see that....I just always felt like it was kind of demeaning, like I was someone implying to her that she wasn't this strong, independent woman. But I suppose that's just me

No demeaning is telling me I'm crazy, my way of going about things is wrong, blah blah blah.

I kind of like being taken care of, in a way, as long as I'm not imprisoned.

 

[tinker683]

Ha ha I'm just joking. If that really bothered me I could never talk to JTG as much as I do. I get taunted with "ISFJ knows best" on a weekly if not daily basis.

I was hoping so. When I get really comfortable with someone my Ne-inferior rears it's head in the form of impish humor. Anyone whom I'm that comfortable with knows though that I'm only joking

No demeaning is telling me I'm crazy, my way of going about things is wrong, blah blah blah.

Oh yes...this I know well. My ENFJ was the same way and she got quite scary when someone told her she was crazy

I kind of like being taken care of, in a way, as long as I'm not imprisoned.

You and I would get along very well then! I tend to get a little intense in that respect

 

[Thalassa]

I was hoping so. When I get really comfortable with someone my Ne-inferior rears it's head in the form of impish humor. Anyone whom I'm that comfortable with knows though that I'm only joking

Yeah I love it when I provoke Ne in SJs, and they just become silly and provocative themselves. Or when they show an obvious "shadow," some ISFJs can almost seem ENTP-ish in that mode.

Oh yes...this I know well. My ENFJ was the same way and she got quite scary when someone told her she was crazy

You want to see crazy? I'll show you crazy!

You and I would get along very well then! I tend to get a little intense in that respect

lol

 

[IZthe411]

It's funny,

There's an ENTP dude at work who always fools me about MBTI, yet he can't seem to shake this ISFJ chick. (she works there, I know her type as well). I tell him she's got what he's lacking, that's why he can't get enough of her.

Yeah you have derailed the thread.

 

[IZthe411]

You don't have to lie to kick it, it makes you Si doms feel strong and confident. "Oh dear you lost little ENFP, I have to help you. Why, how did you even manage to survive before you met me, you cute little silly thing?"

Real conversation had with an Si dom a few days ago, "I am your savior. I am saving you."

Our ideas are cool sometimes too, dammit.

It happens in Si-aux, too. My ESFJ used to call me his stray kitten.

Maybe this is Fe combined with Si,though.

Maybe STJs are more annoyed by it.

That's so not me. I love me some Fi+ Ne/Se. They take me there!

Even at work, I roll with the ISTP on my team to lunch and stuff. He's chill. It's funny when we go to certain stores, he's so impulsive that he'll spend $30 easy on stuff.

He's typical ISTP too, drives a fast car, loves to kayak, collects WWII stuff, is into MMA and all that.

 

[tinker683]

Yeah I love it when I provoke Ne in SJs, and they just become silly and provocative themselves. Or when they show an obvious "shadow," some ISFJs can almost seem ENTP-ish in that mode.

I'm not sure it's something that's 'provoked'. My shadow (if such a thing exists) tends to come out in weirdest and often most unpredictable ways. Sometimes it's angry and chaotic, other times goofy and carefree, other times a massive control freak. My Ne-inferior tends to scare me a bit honestly.

Buuuuutt...yeah, I like feeling comfortable enough to be goofy and silly around people. I'm always so controlled, trying so hard to put on an "acceptable" front so that people will like me...it feels wonderful to be able to have the security with someone where I can let my guard down, where I don't have to be afraid of showing someone my inner most thoughts and feelings and not worry about getting hurt or (worse for me) hurting them in someway....

You want to see crazy? I'll show you crazy!

Nooooooooooooo!!! No scary Marm!

 

[tinker683]

It's funny,

There's an ENTP dude at work who always fools me about MBTI, yet he can't seem to shake this ISFJ chick. (she works there, I know her type as well). I tell him she's got what he's lacking, that's why he can't get enough of him.

Yeah you have derailed the thread.

Yeah...I know. Sorry about that man.

 

[IZthe411]

Yeah...I know. Sorry about that man.

You don't mean it.