[SJ] My theory on why SJs are perceived as closed minded

[ICUP]

I think you got the wrong impression from my post. it's not that I go around pre-judging people, I meant 70% of the people I know. being like "hmph, you're a low class brute" when you're first meeting someone would be extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful. that being said, I do have a lot of behavior filters that are kind of disqualifiers if you will. for instance, if someone beats his wife, there is no way I'm going to like them. if someone tried to be controlling with me, no other additional combination of traits can make me like them. if a woman is bitchy with me when I don't know her or a guy is an inconsiderate douche that I don't know, those are disqualifiers too.
PS: that doesn't mean I'm rude, condescending or ignore them, I've actually learned a lot from people I find repulsive, it just means that their presence is highly unsavory

Yea, well I don't understand why you are here right now anyways. If you have continually found all of these things unsavory, then why haven't you gotten to the point where this thread is useless? Your existence in itself seems unusual and therefore, fake.

 

[ajblaise]

Not all SJs are closed minded, but if you're closed minded.... you're probably an SJ (or an ENTJ). That's fair enough right everyone, even SJs?

But yeah there's tons of creative open-minded SJs too..... Martha Stewart, Sinatra, etc (alright that took me too long to come up with). Most ESFJs I know are open-minded about certain things, and definitely not rigid. An SJ with a lot of extroverted sensing will usually be open to experience... etc.

 

[Elfboy]

Thinking that 70 percent of people you know are in the list of five adjectives that you mentioned means that 1.) You don't know a lot of people/wide variety Or 2.) You haven't spent any time trying to get to know them. If the second it true, the pattern will continue, and you will be able to continuously confirm what you already think to be true.

that's fine with me. I have no desire to be around a lot of people. I had no friends in high school because my overall vibe was "leave me the fuck alone". when giving the chance, I like to dress in a way that says "no, I'm not relatable or common. please don't approach me unless you are extremely confident and have at least some sense of integrity" I've been considering being a 3w4 for this reason

 

[Elfboy]

Yea, well I don't understand why you are here right now anyways. If you have continually found all of these things unsavory, then why haven't you gotten to the point where this thread is useless? Your existence in itself seems unusual and therefore, fake.

that was only the point of my last post, which was a reply to shortnsweet. the point of the OP was a theory that I proposed in an attempt to understand SJs. just because one doesn't like the majority of a group of people is no excuse not to try to understand them. routinely asking for the input of groups of people I for the most part don't like is something I've been doing since highschool

 

[King sns]

Thinking that 70 percent of people you know are in the list of five adjectives that you mentioned means that 1.) You don't know a lot of people/wide variety Or 2.) You haven't spent any time trying to get to know them. If the second it true, the pattern will continue, and you will be able to continuously confirm what you already think to be true.

People have real lives and problems, jobs, circumstances, sickness, pain, families, feelings, knowledge, and thoughts. They're not cartoon characters.

that's fine with me. I have no desire to be around a lot of people. I had no friends in high school because my overall vibe was "leave me the fuck alone". when giving the chance, I like to dress in a way that says "no, I'm not relatable or common. please don't approach me unless you are extremely confident and have at least some sense of integrity" I've been considering being a 3w4 for this reason

So, you're saying in response that you don't have desire to get to know a wide variety of people, therefore, these threads asking about SJ's open/closed mindedness to give them a chance, are actually not about wanting to know people. (It sounds like it probably has more to do with wanting to confirm that you yourself are unique and different than SJ's, who make up a large portion of the population.) You are the dynamic human made up of many facets and 70 percent of people that you know fit into simple negative categories.

(The underlying message here is that being different, dynamic, and uncommon is actually normal.) In getting to know people's many facets, you're uniquness/individuality would be largely threatened as you found out that many other people are just as quirky. I think that you are afraid.

 

[ICUP]

that's fine with me. I have no desire to be around a lot of people. I had no friends in high school because my overall vibe was "leave me the fuck alone". when giving the chance, I like to dress in a way that says "no, I'm not relatable or common. please don't approach me unless you are extremely confident and have at least some sense of integrity" I've been considering being a 3w4 for this reason

hey, there's no reason on earth why you shouldn't be anything you weren't meant to be. the only thing that i see that i "wrong' with you, is that you won't give up being an attention whore. you are fine in every other way, and probably above. be what you are and love it. there are some people who never see the need to tell the truth.

 

[Elfboy]

So, you're saying in response that you don't have desire to get to know a wide variety of people, therefore, these threads asking about SJ's open/closed mindedness to give them a chance, are actually not about wanting to know people. (It sounds like it probably has more to do with wanting to confirm that you yourself are unique and different than SJ's, who make up a large portion of the population.) You are the dynamic human made up of many facets and 70 percent of people that you know fit into simple negative categories.

not true. wanting to understand does not mean that I want to like people or be their friend. you're trying to lump the 2 together. however, I'm open to be being friends with those I understand if I like them after I understand them in an unbiased manner (I've made a lot of acquaintences that I would have thought I would absolutely despise on first glance) , but that doesn't mean that I'm looking for friends. true desire to understand is neutral of the outcome (ie liking or disliking) even if my impression of them is good, I usually wouldn't work with them as a friend. for instance, I know of several FJs whom I think are great, respectable, intelligent people, but the truth is, I usually just can't relate to them.

 

[Elfboy]

hey, there's no reason on earth why you shouldn't be anything you weren't meant to be. the only thing that i see that i "wrong' with you, is that you won't give up being an attention whore. you are fine in every other way, and probably above. be what you are and love it.

if you're suggesting that is the reason I made this thread, it isn't. my attention whorish tendencies are usually much more subtle (ie dressing and walking in a certain way that makes people go "whoa. who's that guy?") and I don't like to mix attention whoring with intellectual discussion out of principle because it creates a huge amount of bias

 

[King sns]

not true. wanting to understand does not mean that I want to like people or be their friend. you're trying to lump the 2 together. however, I'm open to be being friends with those I understand if I like them after I understand them in an unbiased manner (I've made a lot of acquaintences that I would have thought I would absolutely despise on first glance) , but that doesn't mean that I'm looking for friends. true desire to understand is neutral of the outcome (ie liking or disliking) even if my impression of them is good, I usually wouldn't work with them as a friend. for instance, I know of several FJs whom I think are great, respectable, intelligent people, but the truth is, I usually just can't relate to them.

I actually never said wanting to be friends. I'm saying that someone with true desire to understand people could not have possibly lumped 70 percent of known people into five simple words. (Good or bad words.)

 

[Elfboy]

I actually never said wanting to be friends. I'm saying that someone with true desire to understand people could not have possibly lumped 70 percent of known people into five simple words. (Good or bad words.)

it was overlly simplified, I'll give you that, but I do think the majority of people have at least one thing about them that disqualifies them from being a good friend. of course, I am talking about a very high calibur almost shakespearean level of friendship like Sam and Frodo from Lord of the Rings or something like that

 

[Thalassa]

I had no friends in high school because my overall vibe was "leave me the fuck alone". when giving the chance, I like to dress in a way that says "no, I'm not relatable or common. please don't approach me unless you are extremely confident and have at least some sense of integrity"

Oh, but SJs are closed minded? Yeah...about that...

 

[Elfboy]

if you're suggesting that is the reason I made this thread, it isn't. my attention whorish tendencies are usually much more subtle (ie dressing and walking in a certain way that makes people go "whoa. who's that guy?") and I don't like to mix attention whoring with intellectual discussion out of principle because it creates a huge amount of bias

self congratulation and attention whoring are certainly part of my behavioral patterns, but they really only constitute about 10%combined. any more than that and actually being productive would be near impossible

 

[Elfboy]

Oh, but SJs are closed minded? Yeah...about that...

I've never claimed they were. did you read the original post? it was about how I think the idea that SJs are close minded is a misinterpretation and go into why I think it isn't usually true

 

[Thalassa]

I've never claimed they were. did you read the original post?

What you said right there doesn't even make you sound ENFP, it makes you sound like an insecure INFP or INTJ or something.

I'm serious, bro. AN ENFP THAT HAD NO FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE "ALLOWED" TO APPROACH YOU? WTF

 

[Elfboy]

What you said right there doesn't even make you sound ENFP, it makes you sound like an insecure INFP or INTJ or something.

I'm serious, bro.

introversion is certainly possible, but could you elaborate about why that particular quote sounds insecure?
PS: I added a little to that post via editing if that changes you analysis

 

[Thalassa]

Hey, it's good to meet ya'. I enjoyed the interaction, and I appreciate your talents. You have some interesting thoughts. I appreciate you addressing mine. That doesn't mean I'm going to be irrational about it lmfao. Go figure.....

So far, pretty much believe most of you fu**s are either sociopaths or messed-up people. Sorry to say it, but i will never pretend. I will always tell the truth, no matter what the cost. It's the only way I can hold onto myself and guess what? ME is more important than you can ever be. I will give you this: you are here, and that is good enough. I like the fact that you are here. I find it interesting.

...is there a particular reason you felt a need to assert this? I didn't invest anything into this interaction. Settle down. LOL.

 

[Thalassa]

introversion is certainly possible, but could you elaborate about why that particular quote sounds insecure?
PS: I added a little to that post via editing if that changes you analysis

It's insecure no matter how you word it because you feel a need to keep talking about how superior or classy you are.

 

[Elfboy]

It's insecure no matter how you word it because you feel a need to keep talking about how superior or classy you are.

I'm not talking about how I'm superior or extremely classy, but I do frequently bring up how I value superiority and class and how lack of it in others in offputting to me. subtle but very important distinction
even then, it's usually related to the conversation as opposed to me just feeling compelled to saying it when I do say it since people frequently ask me why I have very negative opinions on a few subjects in particular.

 

[King sns]

I'm not talking about how I'm superior or extremely classy, but I do frequently bring up how I value superiority and class and how lack of it in others in offputting to me. subtle but very important distinction
even then, it's usually related to the conversation as opposed to me just feeling compelled to saying it when I do say it since people frequently ask me why I have very negative opinions on a few subjects in particular.

OHH I see, so you're not making a comment about your own class. If I read between the lines a little more, you may have actually been saying that

"I, Elfboy, have an equal possibility of being lower class or upper class, classy or classless, inferior or superior, or just average. However, I only like people who are classy and superior. Low class, inferior people are offputting." Gotcha.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm not talking about how I'm superior or extremely classy, but I do frequently bring up how I value superiority and class and how lack of it in others in offputting to me. subtle but very important distinction
even then, it's usually related to the conversation as opposed to me just feeling compelled to saying it when I do say it since people frequently ask me why I have very negative opinions on a few subjects in particular.

My high school experience involved knowing and talking to people from various social groups and backgrounds, from living in upper-middle class houses and having a brand new car their parents bought them, to high school dropouts whose parents lived in single-wide trailers in gravel parking lots and received welfare.

While I don't like stupid or obnoxious people, it's true, I'm pretty accepting of people, and I've noticed that other ENFPs tend to say similar things, about being able to adjust, or about being accepting or tolerant to a degree.

Your insistence on "class" seems really rigid to me for an ExFP, ENFP or ESFP, especially for one as young as yourself.

Of course your Fi could just have very particular values, but like dude, I dunno.