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  1. #11
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    ...or just plain wrong?

    Differences I've noted between Te and Fe:

    * Te expects people around him to voice their opinions, atleast when asked. Only what is said, matters (well, in a perfect Te world)
    - Fe is more inclined to find out what others are thinking without asking, and then tries to ask in a way that no one has to disagree or object against greater majority.

    * Te is more prideful
    - Fe tries to fit in more

    * Te laughs at funny stuff
    - Fe laughs to connect

    * Te is never right or wrong, facts are.
    - Fe sees being wrong embarassing.

    I know some very intelligent Fe persons, and they can totally outlogic many Tes. And I know many Tes who know how to be much more empathic than Fe persons. So I think T-F thing is more about person's relationship to facts and logic than person's skills with logic and empathy. I feel that Tes detach themselves more from the matters of fact and truth, while Fe seem to personalize them more.

    EDIT:

    Oh, concrete examples were asked...

    Well, I'm ISTJ and I used to know one ISFJ (male too) too.

    Whenever we (me, him and our girlfriends) tried to find out a restaurant to have a dinner, he would _always_ say "I'm okay with everything" and not once did he make suggestions where to eat. I, on the other hand, stated very clearly what I did and didn't want to eat. I guess he didn't want to ruin the night by being too picky, but I didn't want to ruin my night just because someone wanted to go place I didn't like.

    Also, the girls loved to sing karaoke with Singstars... and few times they tried to force us to sing too. I said that I didn't like any of the songs in the game (pretty much all the songs were mainstream rock/pop, which I don't listen to at all), while ISFJ often would agree to sing (even if he was the worst singer in the history of lousy singers... and he didn't really know much english either).

    All in all, he was always trying to be nice, while I was always trying to make things go the way I liked them.

    Oh, and he was studying maths at local university, while I studied computer sciences. Board games were a shared hobby, and I think he had an advantage when it came to more mathematical games, while I had the advantage when it came to more "game"-like games (in which you have to know what others are doing, rather than trying to optimize your own game).
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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  2. #12
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    ...or just plain wrong?


    Differences I've noted between Te and Fe:

    * Te expects people around him to voice their opinions, atleast when asked. Only what is said, matters (well, in a perfect Te world)
    - Fe is more inclined to find out what others are thinking without asking, and then tries to ask in a way that no one has to disagree or object against greater majority.

    * Te is more prideful
    - Fe tries to fit in more

    * Te laughs at funny stuff
    - Fe laughs to connect

    * Te is never right or wrong, facts are.
    - Fe sees being wrong embarassing.

    I know some very intelligent Fe persons, and they can totally outlogic many Tes. And I know many Tes who know how to be much more empathic than Fe persons. So I think T-F thing is more about person's relationship to facts and logic than person's skills with logic and empathy. I feel that Tes detach themselves more from the matters of fact and truth, while Fe seem to personalize them more.
    I agree with pretty much all of this, except for the bolded, because I am very easily embarrassed by being wrong. But it's a different kind of embarrassment than an SFJ would feel - i.e. the SFJ might feel embarrassed because they don't want to be judged or looked down upon for being wrong, and they don't want that interpersonal harmony to be lessened/destroyed. Whereas I would feel embarrassed because being wrong would make me a hypocrite, because one of my high standards for myself is that I be factually correct, and I wouldn't be meeting that standard.

    Also, your example is really good It shows really well that ISTJs are more independent and less susceptible to peer pressure than ISFJs.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post



    I agree with pretty much all of this, except for the bolded, because I am very easily embarrassed by being wrong. But it's a different kind of embarrassment than an SFJ would feel - i.e. the SFJ might feel embarrassed because they don't want to be judged or looked down upon for being wrong, and they don't want that interpersonal harmony to be lessened/destroyed. Whereas I would feel embarrassed because being wrong would make me a hypocrite, because one of my high standards for myself is that I be factually correct, and I wouldn't be meeting that standard.
    What I mostly meant with that was that ISFJ wouldn't like to point out that someone is wrong, as they feel like they'd be embarassing that person. Therefore they are more willing to see some good in all ideas.

    Another example came to me... Few years back I chatted with a girl, and she was upset about a girl on her class. She was a big lizard fan herself (had a pet lizard) and was thinking of getting a tattoo on her arm. It would be a lizard, of course... and she was upset because that other girl actually went and did take that tattoo before she did. She felt as if her idea was stolen. I was bit confused why would that upset her... and did point out to her that "Well, doesn't that just prove how good idea you had? You should be proud of it, rather than jealous".

    Wouldn't that prove how much more attached Fe people are towards their ideas than Te people. I feel that ideas are all out there, we just have to find them... and no one really owns them, so no one shouldn't be judged by them either (it's actions that count).
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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