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  1. #31
    Senior Member knight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Fe is the devil. It sucks you in and makes you feel safe. Cared for. Next thing you know you're hooked on the SFJ like heroin. You don't even know how it happened. They were just there a lot, hanging out. Now you're hard pressed to manage without an SFJ in your life, the idea of not having one around makes you feel a bit oxygen deficient. How will I get up in the morning and manage through my day, eat and dress myself, without an SFJ?



    It's the worst when they turn to you and say, "I don't know what you're on about. I'm just being myself. I didn't do anything to provoke this dependency or attachment."

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    That would be right about the time the SFJ would chastise you about something or dump some expectation on you and make you run away for dear life. ....Kidding.

    I hear that ENFJs have the real manipulative skillz, but I wouldn't know because I don't know any in real life. I know ESFJs though and they couldn't act like you described for the life of them. I almost wish they did. The ones I know are more overbearing, albeit fun to be around.
    That's weird because my ENFJ sister has the total subtle manipulation skills. My sister is the messiah, I swear. So yeah, I agree with that.

    But my ESFJ ex could pull that off, and yes I think ISFJs can too.

    You don't realize the power you have on people who susceptible to Fe. Maybe I am an Fi dom. Fe is like my kryptonite.

  3. #33
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think a lot of the comments here already have been pretty accurate.

    I have one friend who I'm pretty sure is ISFP and another who I'm pretty sure is ISFJ (or maybe ISTJ...but if so she's an F-ish ISTJ.)

    The ISFP has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, likes going out dancing and for drinks (relaxation-wise, she'd rather do that than sit around gabbing for hours), loves children but is a bit cynical about men/commitment, is a bit ditzy on occasion and even a tad flaky. (She admits, for instance, that she gets antsy if people don't answer her text messages pretty quickly, but if I text her I don't expect to hear from her for quite a while...) She really comes across quite extroverted but what she really loves is going off and getting stuck into her painting and drawing - she's a very talented artist. She occasionally gets upset about things (inconsiderate behaviour, that sort of thing) but usually moves on from it pretty quickly. She's almost the definition of laid-back inside and outside, to me (she tells me I'm very laid-back too, but she knows me well enough by now to know that I can get very wound up and anxious internally.) She's in her late twenties (a few years younger than me) and she said to me not long ago "You know, recently I had basically my first crisis ever...I think it has to do with 30 getting closer." She said it very matter of factly. LIke, she's never really been depressed or worked up or agitated or really disturbed about something...man...I can believe it, but I felt jealous.

    The ISFJ has a quirky sense of humour and has areas of speciality where she collects, knows everything on the subject, etc (including ABBA, Hercule Poirot and horses!). She knows quite a lot of people but has few who she actively spends a lot of time with or devoting energy to their concerns. With those, though, she will put in a lot of time and caring effort. As someone else said already, though, she can be very caring and supportive and then get quite hardcore/tough love sometimes (probably for a good reason, though she has misinterpreted me sometimes) and that can be a bit of a shock. Similarly, she's very understanding and tolerant in some areas but can be rigid and almost narrow-minded in others. And for the most part, she LOVES sitting around gabbing for hours.

    I think myself I'd be more likely to mistake an ISFP for an INFP or maybe an ENFP. In the case of the one I know I've also considered ISTP since she can be quite hard-nosed but I think she is too sensitive to the needs of children, for one thing. She's not really a thrill seeker either (how I think of ISTP) though she does love to have fun.

    I would be more likely to mistake an ISFJ for an ISTJ or INFJ. (In my case, if I sometimes come across as a type other than INFJ, I'm pretty sure it's ISFJ rather than INTJ, although INTJ is probably a more common mistyping for INFJ.)
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  4. #34
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    There's the whole JiPe vs PiJe thing to consider when it comes to being laid-back or stubborn. ISFJs are like ISFPs flipped inside-out and vice versa.

    My parents are ISFJ & ISFP....my ISFP step-dad seems easy-going on the surface, but he's actually waaaaaay more stubborn & ornery with family & close friends. My ISFJ mom seems very rigid in her beliefs & serious in her demeanor with acquaintances, but is very easy to, er, influence if you're close to her.

    Examples: If in a conversation, a stranger states a belief my ISFJ mom finds offensive, she'll get all huffy puffy & state her opinion firmly in response. But with close family, she'll bend over backwards to accommodate how we feel, adjusting her own feelings to meet ours. She's suddenly quite flexible & adaptable. My ISFP step-dad will just laugh & smile at a stranger who says something offensive. He'll appear indifferent, even amused by it. But with family, he's stubborn, serious, & way more sensitive. He then seems immovable when it comes to what he wants or how he feels.
    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think a lot of the comments here already have been pretty accurate.

    I have one friend who I'm pretty sure is ISFP and another who I'm pretty sure is ISFJ (or maybe ISTJ...but if so she's an F-ish ISTJ.)

    The ISFP has a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, likes going out dancing and for drinks (relaxation-wise, she'd rather do that than sit around gabbing for hours), loves children but is a bit cynical about men/commitment, is a bit ditzy on occasion and even a tad flaky. (She admits, for instance, that she gets antsy if people don't answer her text messages pretty quickly, but if I text her I don't expect to hear from her for quite a while...) She really comes across quite extroverted but what she really loves is going off and getting stuck into her painting and drawing - she's a very talented artist. She occasionally gets upset about things (inconsiderate behaviour, that sort of thing) but usually moves on from it pretty quickly. She's almost the definition of laid-back inside and outside, to me (she tells me I'm very laid-back too, but she knows me well enough by now to know that I can get very wound up and anxious internally.) She's in her late twenties (a few years younger than me) and she said to me not long ago "You know, recently I had basically my first crisis ever...I think it has to do with 30 getting closer." She said it very matter of factly. LIke, she's never really been depressed or worked up or agitated or really disturbed about something...man...I can believe it, but I felt jealous.

    The ISFJ has a quirky sense of humour and has areas of speciality where she collects, knows everything on the subject, etc (including ABBA, Hercule Poirot and horses!). She knows quite a lot of people but has few who she actively spends a lot of time with or devoting energy to their concerns. With those, though, she will put in a lot of time and caring effort. As someone else said already, though, she can be very caring and supportive and then get quite hardcore/tough love sometimes (probably for a good reason, though she has misinterpreted me sometimes) and that can be a bit of a shock. Similarly, she's very understanding and tolerant in some areas but can be rigid and almost narrow-minded in others. And for the most part, she LOVES sitting around gabbing for hours.

    I think myself I'd be more likely to mistake an ISFP for an INFP or maybe an ENFP. In the case of the one I know I've also considered ISTP since she can be quite hard-nosed but I think she is too sensitive to the needs of children, for one thing. She's not really a thrill seeker either (how I think of ISTP) though she does love to have fun.

    I would be more likely to mistake an ISFJ for an ISTJ or INFJ. (In my case, if I sometimes come across as a type other than INFJ, I'm pretty sure it's ISFJ rather than INTJ, although INTJ is probably a more common mistyping for INFJ.)
    Thanks OrangeAppled and Silkroad. These were helpful to read. Again, it seems I relate more to the ISFJs in these stories.

  5. #35
    Senior Member NegativeZero's Avatar
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    My girlfriend is an ISFJ and one of my best friends is an ISFP. My advice would be to determine whether they are introverted or extroverted sensors.
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  6. #36
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I think ISFPs are also more "in the moment" and ISFJs can get "stuck in the past" emotionally more often or take longer to get over things. It's not to say that ISFPs never think of the past, but ISFJs are Si doms so look to the past for the best course of action to take in the present.
    Is this a common J/P traits that applies to NFs also?

  7. #37
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ISFPeaceOut View Post
    other than the fact that ISFPs are supposed to be artists, what are some other ways of telling the difference?
    I agree with Marmie above that the ISFJs can also be quite aesthetic. This not only matches my experience of them, it correlates with the fact that the ISFJ, as an E1w2 personality, starts to deteriorate to 4 at the average levels of functioning.

    And I wonder how many ISFPs really are artistic. I know one who is, and one who isn't. The one who is artistic works as a carpenter to make money, and side-lines as a window artist on the holidays. He dresses like a beach bum most of the time, although there is no real beach around, and reads magazines about Hawaii. He plants a garden every year and started some bamboo growing in his backyard - big mistake.

    Two ISFJs that I've known were both females. Their households were neat as a pin, and one of them preferred antique over modern furniture. The other one played piano really well and in college majored in voice. The first one was a social worker, the second one just took various jobs to lend a little financial support to the household on top of her husband's income. She was also chairman of the local Chamber of Commerce.
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  8. #38
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    - ISFJs are organized, ISFPs are messy
    - ISFJs plan in advance, ISFPs are spontaneous
    - ISFJs are usually pretty conventional, ISFPs are not
    - ISFPs can be very flamboyant
    - Se vs Si
    - Fe vs Fi
    - ISFJs are more likely to want to talk to you just to be polite and friendly, ISFPs usually won't show interest in you unless you have something in common. they're not likely to talk to you out of sheer social obligation
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  9. #39
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    - ISFJs are organized, ISFPs are messy
    - ISFJs plan in advance, ISFPs are spontaneous
    - ISFJs are usually pretty conventional, ISFPs are not
    - ISFPs can be very flamboyant
    - Se vs Si
    - Fe vs Fi
    - ISFJs are more likely to want to talk to you just to be polite and friendly, ISFPs usually won't show interest in you unless you have something in common. they're not likely to talk to you out of sheer social obligation
    I agree with everything there. I just want to add that although ISFJs are conventional, they tend to tack on a unique perspective to their fashion tastes and housing decor. It's just a little something to say, as it were, "I may be conventional in most of my tastes but I do save a little individualism back just for my own personal enjoyment."

    The ESFJ, on the other hand, is more fully conventional.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

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