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  1. #11
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    I have an ISFJ friend who will sit back and criticize other people, and what they do wrong and if he was to be in that situation he'd do xyz. Well he found himself in a situation and he didn't do xyz, he messed up. After that he wanted to cry and have people see how tough the situation was and wanted some forgiveness.

    One potential problem that XJs, especially XFJs face is by being so strongly convinced in their perspective and regarding others as absolutely wrong, you run the risk of seeing yourself in the same lens, setting up very high expectations for you and your conduct, and beat yourself up when you can't meet them. Others are naturally attuned to not making a big deal aobut everything thus are easy on themselves. I think for some people it takes a hard lesson to realize this. But once you let go, it's very liberating.

  2. #12
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    One potential problem that XJs, especially XFJs face is by being so strongly convinced in their perspective and regarding others as absolutely wrong, you run the risk of seeing yourself in the same lens, setting up very high expectations for you and your conduct, and beat yourself up when you can't meet them.
    And that ^ creates a very special kind of crazy
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  3. #13
    All Natural! All Good!
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    ESFJ just told me he's terrified of 'public humiliation' and 'being rejected'. He calls this 'paranoia'. He also referred to himself as 'pathetic' and talked about his 'low self-esteem'. (Words in quote are his.) Then he tells me that if people stop talking to him abruptly he calls that intentional rejection. Damn. I was hoping I could eventually cut him off, but now my conscience is going to get in the way. This isn't about me, though. I still can't exactly convince him that there is something wrong with a malevolent standard. I can't convince him there is nothing worthwhile there to live up to. I think this is a major Ji (me) vs. Je (him) clash going on. I get the impression that he is so unhealthy (not necessarily in the MBTI sense) that if the standard dictated that he should jump off a bridge, 'cause everyone else was doing that, he would. It's hurting him and that's not enough to make him think something is wrong with it. :S

    Edit: He says he has no skills or interests to base his self-esteem on. And this is because, as he says, other people are good at academics, music, sports, etc. But I think these are all pre-defined fields. He isn't really looking for his niche in terms of skillsets, he's trying to beat other people at their game, when IMO he would do well to invent his own game... but that goes against the standard so it'll never happen.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?


    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator


    A different type everyday - so no need to type me anymore. But feel free to enjoy the sound of your own asscrack.

  4. #14
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    Well yeah, I'm too terrified of public humiliation and have perceived others' thoughts often on my mind. Nowadays I don't care so much, but I can hardly make assertions to any direction because of FEar(of looking stupid mainly). Even though Si is a perceiving function, it seems more like judging because it can probably distort a situation quite much and so powerfully.
    I think I'm sub-par too, but not for ESFJ-related reasons really. These Fe and Si things are way more instinctive than self-deprecation, and others' opinions don't get me to think badly about myself they just have powerful hold on me and it doesn't really enter the realm of thinking for me.
    ESFJ doesn't necessarily care about the most popular standard though: I believe Fe can relate to pretty much anything and if you don't have shared positivity with others and you're bullied or something like that, you could relate to a single friend, fictional character and live through his/her qualities. What would he do in that situation-type of thing. As such it can lead to a disconnection from your real self with total conviction, which can have bad consequences because the identity is not on solid ground.

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