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  1. #31
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    If you want to get along with an ESFJ, validate, flatter and enable them.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Ok, in light of posts that appeared while I was writing my last post:

    I have actually told him about being an introvert and how sometimes I just want quiet. I don't know if I could have said that without knowing him, though.

    Sometimes he'll go on about something and I'll give him a look and he'll say "you stopped listening, didn't you" and I'll just give him another look and start humming a tune. "Maybe."
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #33
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    so talk to her, tell her what I want without being offensive?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #34
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    well, in my case, i'm a bit of a jerk, but sure. i chide him, playfully, that's my style.

    i'm also male, which makes a bit of a difference in some ways.

    but essentially, what you are saying is right. maybe you can bring up the subject. "oh, so do you think you are more the type of person who is energized or drained by lots of conversation?" as if you just read it off a test and were wondering about the question in general.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    If this is someone you live with, then it's ok to just spend time apart or find an activity to bond over. Just let them know you generally like them and things will probably be ok.


    my mom's ESFJ. we don't have tons of theoretical discussions or whatever but i love doing stuff with her, just running errands and grocery shopping and going on walks and cooking. maybe you could find some stuff you and your housemate could do together, even if it's just cleaning to music or working on your homework in the same room.

    oh and as for biting your tongue... you might want to just try to limit it to good-natured sarcasm... some of the ESFJs i know are excellent at sarcasm!

  6. #36
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    My mother is an ESFJ. Much of the time, it's like our minds are in different universes.

  7. #37
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post


    my mom's ESFJ. we don't have tons of theoretical discussions or whatever but i love doing stuff with her, just running errands and grocery shopping and going on walks and cooking. maybe you could find some stuff you and your housemate could do together, even if it's just cleaning to music or working on your homework in the same room.

    oh and as for biting your tongue... you might want to just try to limit it to good-natured sarcasm... some of the ESFJs i know are excellent at sarcasm!
    Yeah one time we were playing cards with some guests, and she kept texting and holding up the game, so I finally went "if you don't go refill your drink right now, I'm throwing your phone off the balcony" and than one of the guys hid it from her she got mad about that. But I would never throw anyone's phone off the balcony, because than I'd feel obligated to replace it. So even though I wasn't being serious, the combination of me saying that and her phone being hidden, and one of the rules I live by, is never rat anybody out. ok maybe that doesn't have to do with type....bad example.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #38
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    so talk to her, tell her what I want without being offensive?
    Just say "SHHHHHHHHH!"

    lol!

  9. #39
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    If you want to get along with an ESFJ, validate, flatter and enable them.
    Incidentally this works well with ISFJs too.

    Just saying....

    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  10. #40
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    If you're up for a challenge, try getting them to stop projecting their personal feelings/ opinions on everything.

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