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  1. #81
    Senior Member uberrogo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tish211 View Post
    I like a ISTJ guy just wondering what are the signs for them liking/being attracted to you?

    Do they try and talk to you? Or become silent around you? Observe you?
    Try to be near you? Listen on other conversations? stare? etc.

    Do you make the first move?
    And do like shy/quiet people?

    How would you know if a ISTJ likes or is attracted to you?
    I'm a male ISTJ, and I can be shy with girls I like or over the top flirtatious with them, but there isn't much middle ground. It depends on the lady that I like as to how I would approach her. I think the only constant give away is that I want to be alone with the person or at least be around them often. I dont have many tools in my dating toolbox besides cheesy affection and that generally turns out to be either funny or creepy with 99% of people.
    If Men's Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue.

  2. #82
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    I keep backing out trying to talk to him and get shy

  3. #83
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    I keep wondering if I've typed him wrong and hes a INTJ not an ISTJ.
    Does he seem ISTJ to you?

  4. #84
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Not enough information, honestly.


  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    With me, it's more of that a girl breaks nearly every rule I maintain when dealing with the general public. With most strangers or people, I'm constantly watching for timeliness, I'm standoff-ish, critical, looking for actually meaningful conversations to engage in and tend to avoid a lot of conversations. When I'm talking to a girl I like, all that is thrown out the window. I'll find any stupid reason to talk to you. I start teasing them. I try to stay in your general vicinity. I risk being late for something just to be near you for 2 more minutes. It's more of observing how conversations and interactions differ between people. To put it short, I minimize contact with strangers and cut conversations short because I just lack the desire for small talk. With a hot girl, it's different. Like a girl yesterday at work, came in looking for a shirt for work in the men's dept since it's a button down shirt she couldn't find in ladies. I spent a few minutes joking about a SHIRT with her because she was young, cute and playful. If I saw 2 people joking about a shirt, I would sit there thinking, "These people are idiots, laughing about something as trivial and meaningless as a SHIRT, WTF."
    Dragging up an older thread if that's okay.
    I met someone through a mutual friend. About 90% sure he is ISTJ (dependable, genuine, into social group membership for the community good, dedicated to his work). Highlights from our only date so far and question follow.

    He played a joke on me at the very beginning and teased me a bit more throughout the date. Shared about his family, 'confessed' about a change in his hobbies and added that he used an existing obligation as an excuse. Presented himself as being more similar to me than he probably is. (Example: Saying his emotions can interfere with task-completion after I said I work better when I enjoy my work.) He agreed to moving the night of said date after checking his assignment deadlines. I found out during the date that he had a test the following day.

    I am obsessing a little because I see so much potential here that I can't quite bring myself to just move on yet. I have also heard ISTJ prefers traditional gender roles so I'm leaving him be. He's taking forever to follow up with me. (Forever in ESFP language means it's been 3 days). I sort of expected the call today since that's the mainstream pacing for follow-up after a date. He said he would call me (which can be the kiss of death with many guys but he has expressed being a man of his word... like a fool I took him at his word and now I'm squirming).

    I'm trying to figure out which is more likely: He is interested, but the ISTJ can take longer to make social contact than many other types, or he's not really that interested and only asked me out because the mutual friends thought we might hit it off so he felt obligated.

    I quoted the post above because some of those details seemed to match. Considering the combination of that match, and how I still have not heard from him, I'm confused.

    Thanks in advance for any insight or feedback

  6. #86
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    Do ISTJs flirt online? but more of a humour flirt?
    I've met this other ISTJ guy who I know is one for sure.

  7. #87
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparkleyESFP View Post
    Dragging up an older thread if that's okay.
    I met someone through a mutual friend. About 90% sure he is ISTJ (dependable, genuine, into social group membership for the community good, dedicated to his work). Highlights from our only date so far and question follow.

    He played a joke on me at the very beginning and teased me a bit more throughout the date. Shared about his family, 'confessed' about a change in his hobbies and added that he used an existing obligation as an excuse. Presented himself as being more similar to me than he probably is. (Example: Saying his emotions can interfere with task-completion after I said I work better when I enjoy my work.) He agreed to moving the night of said date after checking his assignment deadlines. I found out during the date that he had a test the following day.

    I am obsessing a little because I see so much potential here that I can't quite bring myself to just move on yet. I have also heard ISTJ prefers traditional gender roles so I'm leaving him be. He's taking forever to follow up with me. (Forever in ESFP language means it's been 3 days). I sort of expected the call today since that's the mainstream pacing for follow-up after a date. He said he would call me (which can be the kiss of death with many guys but he has expressed being a man of his word... like a fool I took him at his word and now I'm squirming).

    I'm trying to figure out which is more likely: He is interested, but the ISTJ can take longer to make social contact than many other types, or he's not really that interested and only asked me out because the mutual friends thought we might hit it off so he felt obligated.

    I quoted the post above because some of those details seemed to match. Considering the combination of that match, and how I still have not heard from him, I'm confused.

    Thanks in advance for any insight or feedback

    Hopefully he has callled. He might have his own internal rule for the number of days it takes betweeen contact. Don't sweat it.

  8. #88
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    SparkleyESFP (cute name btw ), my thinking is that as an I, he's a bit less likely to initiate, and also, that even if he doesn't initiate, you've got to be in it to win it. He might be thinking that you're so outgoing, surely you'd have poked him by now if you were interested. Just be your natural self--even if that disregards traditional gender roles a bit. He might like that as long as you don't go overboard.

  9. #89
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    Thank you very much, IZthe411 and sciski, for the replies!

    Yes, he called, thank goodness. Just talked to him a moment ago, in fact. Half an hour of wonderment for me.

    I took sciski's suggestion... guy had talked about his availability with me but hadn't actually asked me out. So when we were talking and he said he was free I finally asked if he wanted to do something.

    He jumped on that question in a way that pleases me And then took it upon himself to figure out something for us to do. Which is absolutely perfect because, well, I dig that in a partner.

    It seems maybe he just wanted confirmation that I would say yes before he suggested another interaction. Which is kind of cute and wonderful.

    Thank you both again! Happy to report it all seems to be going better than I thought.

  10. #90
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Yeah that sounds about right. ISTJs want some kind of confirmation before they put themselves out there feelings-wise. We'll do the rest once we get the nod! Let me know how it goes!

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