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Thread: Male ESFJs...

  1. #81
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_lawyer View Post
    Well, as I have reached my mid-twenties and am still not married, I try to avoid casually dating anymore and try to only date girls that I could see myself marrying. That kind of requires having some common beliefs on spiritual matters before jumping into a relationship. I think with that mentality I respect women a lot more and therefore no longer think constantly about my lustful desires but rather strive for sexual purity in relationships, and pursue God together. I realize that I have come to these conclusions because of my past experiences and relationships and not everyone else has come to the same conclusions I have. To me, being the spiritual leader in a relationship means taking the initiative in keeping the relationship pure, sometimes taking the initiative in avoiding situations that could lead to impurity. It means taking the initiative in praying together, and in bible study. I'm sorry to get all spiritual on here, I didn't mean for that to happen! I hope I don't sound too naive...
    Hmmm, interesting. Again i am not a hard core ESFJ, i am more ESfj so i am reading what you are saying above with a kind of look on my face .. Each to their own so i am not slamming you here.

    If you only date girls you can see yourself marrying, then are you not limiting possibilities with the other sex? It seems like narrow thinking to me.

    Anyway, good luck with that.

    I am a leader also ..
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #82
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    Hmmm, interesting. Again i am not a hard core ESFJ, i am more ESfj so i am reading what you are saying above with a kind of look on my face .. Each to their own so i am not slamming you here.

    If you only date girls you can see yourself marrying, then are you not limiting possibilities with the other sex? It seems like narrow thinking to me.

    Anyway, good luck with that.

    I am a leader also ..
    Perhaps he just sees it as pointless. He can speak for himself but I will say that's the main reason I've been in hardly any relationships, even though I've had opportunity. Some people may enjoy recreational dating (which is fine) but it never appealed to me.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  3. #83
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southern_lawyer View Post
    Well, as I have reached my mid-twenties and am still not married, I try to avoid casually dating anymore and try to only date girls that I could see myself marrying. That kind of requires having some common beliefs on spiritual matters before jumping into a relationship. I think with that mentality I respect women a lot more and therefore no longer think constantly about my lustful desires but rather strive for sexual purity in relationships, and pursue God together. I realize that I have come to these conclusions because of my past experiences and relationships and not everyone else has come to the same conclusions I have. To me, being the spiritual leader in a relationship means taking the initiative in keeping the relationship pure, sometimes taking the initiative in avoiding situations that could lead to impurity. It means taking the initiative in praying together, and in bible study. I'm sorry to get all spiritual on here, I didn't mean for that to happen! I hope I don't sound too naive...
    Is the ENTJ you have a crush on spiritual/religious? Because NT's have a tendency towards atheism.


    Don't get me wrong though. There are still quite a few religious NT's out there.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #84

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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post
    I have a lot of the same views myself so I understand what you're saying. Is the girl you are pursuing on the same page as you are with Christianity? If so, she is likely to appreciate these things.
    Yes, we are on the same page when it comes to Christianity.

  5. #85

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    Quote Originally Posted by SubjectA View Post
    Is the ENTJ you have a crush on spiritual/religious? Because NT's have a tendency towards atheism.


    Don't get me wrong though. There are still quite a few religious NT's out there.
    I have heard that about NT's. However she doesn't seem to have that tendency.

  6. #86
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubjectA View Post
    Is the ENTJ you have a crush on spiritual/religious? Because NT's have a tendency towards atheism.


    Don't get me wrong though. There are still quite a few religious NT's out there.
    My ENTJ also follows the Christian faith. In fact, I know quite a few NTs who do. However they do tend to view their faith from a more logical viewpoint that others I know do, including myself. My ENTJ can debate Christianity from different viewpoints, including as an atheist, agnostic, and Christian and see logical viewpoints to all sides but in the end he accepts Christianity by faith.
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  7. #87
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    Default I'm an esfj

    I am the male esfj. I am definitely generous and giving, I dont expect much back though which is odd. I'm am definitely feminine but just metro. very manipulative, very social and easily liked

  8. #88
    Member Srho's Avatar
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    I know one, he's not exactly mean but kind of outgoingly cliqueish, i.e. nice and warm to his many acquaintances and... hot to everyone else. I don't know how else to explain it. I don't hate him, but I don't like him either. I much prefer ISTPs of either gender, at any rate.

  9. #89
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    I Know quite a few and they are all very similar. They are nice, but very guarded and hard to read. Very very normal, (they fit and try to fit societies expectations for them, including gender roles), and so are thus pretty masculine and often become uncomfortable doing anything that comes off as too feminine.

  10. #90
    Senior Member Trentham's Avatar
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    I used to work with a male ESFJ. Super nice, strait laced, deeply religious, family oriented guy. He acted as if he was the only man in the history of the world who had ever fathered a child and wanted EVERYONE to know everything about what was going on with his family at all times. He kind of gravitated to me around the office, even though we had very little in common. I think he saw me as a project he could work on, i.e. that he could bring me out of my shell and help me find religion (although I had no desire to and made that clear to him on more than one occasion). I think he had good intentions, but his methodology could get very annoying. He suggested we hang out outside work on a number of occasions but I never agreed to that. He was fine in small doses, but extended contact would have had me climbing the walls trying to get away.

    Oh, and he wasn't effeminate. Just very, very bubbly and enthusiastic. Seemingly happy and carefree all the time.
    83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good

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