User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 14 of 14

  1. #11
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,364

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    learn to say 'no' and be okay with it.
    I agree with this. My father is an ISFJ, and his biggest problem is that he never says no to requests on his time, money, and/or energy. My ISTJ mother doesn't like taking him shopping, for instance, because he will seriously be talked into buying every last thing the sales person offers. It's not because he's naive, but rather because he really does feel bad for them. He's always like, "well, this is how they make commission money. I don't want to deny them that..."
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  2. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I agree with this. My father is an ISFJ, and his biggest problem is that he never says no to requests on his time, money, and/or energy. My ISTJ mother doesn't like taking him shopping, for instance, because he will seriously be talked into buying every last thing the sales person offers. It's not because he's naive, but rather because he really does feel bad for them. He's always like, "well, this is how they make commission money. I don't want to deny them that..."
    This is me, haha. I hate letting people down! Let's just say it's good I live in a small town and am hours away from the Galleria. I would be in bad shape if my trips weren't so limited, ha.

    I have a good friend whose Mom is an ISFJ and for years was taken for granted by her kids and people at her job. She is an elementary principal. She is like a second mother to me and is one of the kindest people I know. I remember growing up her kids were so rude to her and she did everything for them. She had a full time job, and still cleaned their rooms and put their folded clothes away. My friend was impossible to get up and every morning through the fifth grade she would have to carry him from the bed to the breakfast table! It was always an eye opening experience for me to go to their house because my friend would often tell her to "shut up" and be very rude and he never really got in trouble. It was shocking to me coming from a house where I once told my Mom to "be quiet" and got slapped into the last week. My INFJ Mom has always taken everything so, so personally, so being used to that and going to my buddy's house was different. Her husband is really easygoing so I never really noticed him taking her too much for granted, although she went several Christmases without anything under the family tree. However, a few years ago, there was a situation with her school Superintendent who had taken advantage of her for years and the school board got involved, and what seemed over night, she changed her whole demeanor. She finally began sticking up for herself when mistreated and asserting herself, as well as expressing her regrets of how she raised her kids, i.e., spoiling them too much and not instilling in them respect for her. She is still as nice as can be, though. My friend in recent years is realizing how much he has taken her for granted and has actually developed a good relationship with her.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Posts
    998

    Default

    Being taken for granted.. if you think about what it means for a moment, you might figure out the following:

    - People give little credit to your opinion, and expect you to adjust... like you always do.
    - People don't think you as a problem maker, and thus are not afraid to make decisions that are not beneficial for you.
    - They often expect you to do your thing for free, because you never ask anything in return.

    So, in order not be taken grated for:

    - Attract attention
    - State your opinions, strongly
    - Challenge authorities
    - Demand what's rightfully yours
    - Do not babysit other people behind their back, let them sort out their own problems.

    I think everything I listed here has to do with assertiveness. I think it's the one skill that ISFJ lacks the most.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  4. #14
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    ^ That's an interesting take, Habba. I just wish I had less fear in general. Sometimes I feel riddled with it and just pray for someone to help me. I guess that's the opposite of what I should be doing.

Similar Threads

  1. The Ego and the Taken-For-Granted
    By Mole in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-05-2013, 10:35 PM
  2. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-20-2010, 03:36 AM
  3. Being social for it's own sake - a few questions for you and a backstory
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-20-2010, 05:15 AM
  4. Amazing Inventions and Scientific Phenomena That Are Taken For Granted
    By LunarMoon in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-22-2010, 08:33 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO