[ISFJ] Understanding ISFJ friends! (Questions)

[Serenes]

I'd like to know more about ISFJ friends! So if you have the time to answer these questions, please do

Just answer the ones you want to

Do you ever Want to befriend someone, if so, do you ever put in the effort to hang out with them more often or find time to spend with them? Do you often try to invite them out or wait for the other person to ask instead?

Are you usually kind and say things out of politeness instead of what you really think? (like compliments and such)

Are you usually direct in your thoughts or do you usually try not to hurt your friend's feelings?

What kinds of people annoy you? If someone were annoying you, would you ever confront them about it? What would you do if you didn't like someone's company and yet they kept trying to talk to you?

Do you share personal thoughts often? Would you feel threatened/annoyed if it seemed like someone kept asking about your personal life?

Do you trust your friends easily, how do they gain your trust?

How long does it take for you to open up and feel comfortable around a friend? What kinds of people do you open up to easier or gravitate towards?

What do you enjoy most about your friends? What kind of qualities do you like in your friendship?

What qualities do you Not like in your friendships? Any deal-breakers?

How do you usually act when you're having a good time? How do you usually act when you're having a bad time?

If your friends had a totally different view on something that you believed to be important and right, would you think of them differently?

Do you ever feel like you have certain obligations to your friends and try to fulfill them? Or do you usually do it because you want to?

In turn, do you usually have any expectations of your friends? What if they don't fulfill them?

How do you usually make friends? How did you meet your best friend, and how long did it take before you acknowledged them as a 'best' friend?

What makes you feel close to a friend or view them as such?

What do you think of INFPs as friends?

Thanks!

 

[Giggly]

At the moment I don't have time to answer all of the questions but I will come back to this. I will say before I leave though that I like INFP's and really want to get to know some as friends.

 

[tinker683]

Do you ever Want to befriend someone, if so, do you ever put in the effort to hang out with them more often or find time to spend with them? Do you often try to invite them out or wait for the other person to ask instead?

I usually wait for them to ask instead. Friendship tends to happen by accident for me. I do try to spend some time around a person and engage them if I'm interested in a friendship with a person.

Are you usually kind and say things out of politeness instead of what you really think? (like compliments and such)

I usually say things out of politeness. The only time I've ever frank is when referring to myself or if my friends asks me to be blunt. When they do ask me to blunt, I'll immediately follow whatever I say (if it's negative) with, "But that doesn't mean you're a bad person!" or something like that.

Are you usually direct in your thoughts or do you usually try not to hurt your friend's feelings?

Try not to hurt there feelings, but I also do try to articulate what I'm saying so that there isn't any misunderstanding.

What kinds of people annoy you? If someone were annoying you, would you ever confront them about it? What would you do if you didn't like someone's company and yet they kept trying to talk to you?

Really juvenile behavior irks me, particularly when it's coming from someone my own age. Most of the time I just ignore them and hope they'll get bored with me when I'm not giving them any feedback.

Do you share personal thoughts often? Would you feel threatened/annoyed if it seemed like someone kept asking about your personal life?

I do if asked, but people rarely ask. It also depends on the topic. If there are social ramifications then I'll either phrase what I say into PC terms or avoid the topic all together.

Do you trust your friends easily, how do they gain your trust?

I'm initially very kind and polite with everyone I meet but in order for me to actually trust and open up to someone takes time...that's just how I've always been.

How long does it take for you to open up and feel comfortable around a friend? What kinds of people do you open up to easier or gravitate towards?

See above. I've found that Feelers generally tend to give off this aura that makes me feel at ease around them but more or less it's a warm, gregarious attitude that I really respond too the most.

What do you enjoy most about your friends? What kind of qualities do you like in your friendship?

That they want to spend time with me, that they engage me, that they think I'm useful to them. I like friends who think I'm interesting

What qualities do you Not like in your friendships? Any deal-breakers?

See above about attitudes that annoy me. Douchebaggery is liable to get me to want to avoid you at all cost.

How do you usually act when you're having a good time? How do you usually act when you're having a bad time?

This is actually a problem some of my friends have with me....I tend to be neutral either way, but for different reasons. If I'm having a good time, it's because I have a difficult time expressing my feelings in a manner that I consider to be appropriate. What this means though is that when I do show excitement, it's because I'm really excited about something!

My friend Charlie used to call me his, "nice Vulcan friend".

If I'm having a bad time, then I won't say anything as I don't want to be rude and/or hurt anyone's feelings.

If your friends had a totally different view on something that you believed to be important and right, would you think of them differently?

I admit I'd be a little shocked and a tad disappointed....but only at first. After a short while I would file it under the "things to agree to disagree on" and move on.

Do you ever feel like you have certain obligations to your friends and try to fulfill them? Or do you usually do it because you want to?

It depends on the task requested and how much I particularly like said friend. Tasks that center around me being there for them in some sort of emotionally supportive role I usually like doing....tasks that are fairly mundane I'll consider obligations. If I get a mundane request from a friend that I like well enough to consider them a friend but not something I really don't want to do...then I'll usually make up some excuse as to why I can't or don't want to go. Most of the time I'm truthful but I will admit to telling white lies

In turn, do you usually have any expectations of your friends? What if they don't fulfill them?

Not to betray me, to act against me. If a "friend" does betray me, then they get blacklisted and while I may end up forgiving them....I won't forget for the rest of my life. I know that ISFJs have a very bad habit of holding grudges and I'm no exception. My friend Carey stole money from me 7 years ago...her and I have since reconciled and are on good terms...but I haven't forgotten that and I don't trust her with money and probably never will.

How do you usually make friends? How did you meet your best friend, and how long did it take before you acknowledged them as a 'best' friend?

To the 1st part, as I said before: it usually happens by accident. Like one day we'll be chatting the next we're hanging out somewhere.

As to the 2nd...she doesn't consider me as such but I consider my dance partner my best friend though I admit that's primarily because I work so much and she's the only person I hang out with on a regular basis (as such, she kind of gets the title by default ).

Her and I work together and I realized she was my best friend when I realized that I'm so comfortable around her that I feel like I can tell her ANYTHING about me and it will be OK. I really, REALLY like having that level of emotional intimacy with someone

What makes you feel close to a friend or view them as such?

As stated above, emotional intimacy...when a friend opens up to me about themselves. As such, it's no real surprise to me that I have more female friends than male as women open up MUCH easier than guys do.

What do you think of INFPs as friends?

I'm not sure if I know any in real life...I'm sure I probably do. From what I've read of you guys and the posts from INFPs, you guys seem like really good people so I'm sure we'd get along great