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  1. #1
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Default ISFJ Views of INFPs?

    I've got an ISFJ friend and I just want to ask some ISFJs about how they view INFPs?

    There don't seem to be too many problems between ISFJ & INFP (based upon this friendship) - similar interests and a firm acceptance/understanding of the need for time alone. One thing I've noticed about him is he often seems unable to accept my answers about something, as if he doesn't believe i'm actually fine with he is proposing.

    A typical conversation may be something like:

    - Hey, is it okay if I pay you that money I owe you in a couple of days?
    - Yeah, no problem.
    - Really? Are you sure?
    - Yeah, really, I don't mind.
    - Really? Because if it's a problem I can go to the bank later today and get you the money, it's just that...
    - Seriously! It's not a problem.
    - Oh, ok then.

    Anyway, back to the original point: what do ISFJs think of INFPs?
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves. We had very similar taste in clothes, men, music, movies and humor. We were fundamentally different so we were careful to avoid full-out arguments over religion/etc. Her Si helped keep me straight although sometimes it's blunt. Her Fe is very warm and nurturing without being overbearing. She thought I was the cutest little thing who needed her help/guidance without being patronizing. We understood and knew each other like no one else. She was my best friend.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves.
    That's a great way to put it.

    I always found this line from an English comedy show to sum up the relationship quite nicely.
    (NB. A swear world is involved!)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KnZbZbdJJg#t=1m9s
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  4. #4
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    I've got an ISFJ friend and I just want to ask some ISFJs about how they view INFPs?

    There don't seem to be too many problems between ISFJ & INFP (based upon this friendship) - similar interests and a firm acceptance/understanding of the need for time alone. One thing I've noticed about him is he often seems unable to accept my answers about something, as if he doesn't believe i'm actually fine with he is proposing.

    A typical conversation may be something like:

    - Hey, is it okay if I pay you that money I owe you in a couple of days?
    - Yeah, no problem.
    - Really? Are you sure?
    - Yeah, really, I don't mind.
    - Really? Because if it's a problem I can go to the bank later today and get you the money, it's just that...
    - Seriously! It's not a problem.
    - Oh, ok then.

    Anyway, back to the original point: what do ISFJs think of INFPs?
    Regarding your convo, it's not that he or she doesn't believe you.. He or she is probably concerned with you maybe feeling that he or she is taking advantage of you. I personally *HATE* it when someone takes advantage of my kindness so I never want my friends to feel like I'm taking advantage of them.

    I'd just sit them down and explain to them that you really don't like having to repeat yourself and if you tell them it's OK, then that's that. You may have to tell them this several times but it's usually what works for me

    As for INFPs, I'm not sure if I know any or not....but if you're anything like your Extroverted counterparts, then I have no doubt that we'd get along swimmingly
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  5. #5
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    My ISFJ and I were tight like thieves. We had very similar taste in clothes, men, music, movies and humor. We were fundamentally different so we were careful to avoid full-out arguments over religion/etc. Her Si helped keep me straight although sometimes it's blunt. Her Fe is very warm and nurturing without being overbearing. She thought I was the cutest little thing who needed her help/guidance without being patronizing. We understood and knew each other like no one else. She was my best friend.
    I need an INFP like you.

    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    Regarding your convo, it's not that he or she doesn't believe you.. He or she is probably concerned with you maybe feeling that he or she is taking advantage of you. I personally *HATE* it when someone takes advantage of my kindness so I never want my friends to feel like I'm taking advantage of them.

    I'd just sit them down and explain to them that you really don't like having to repeat yourself and if you tell them it's OK, then that's that. You may have to tell them this several times but it's usually what works for me
    Hahaha spot on.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Does the INFP tendency to focus on the abstract irritate ISFJs at all?
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  7. #7
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    The ISFJs I know do seem to get a little tired of my tangential waffling but they're nice enough to pretend they aren't

    I find it hard to work out what ISFJ really think of me because they are so naturally accommodating. I'm interested to see what the responses are from ISFJs - I often wonder what goes through their heads.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #8
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    ^ Mainly....

    "I don't get what she's talking about. Maybe I misunderstood; I'll listen better."

  9. #9
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    ISFJs seem to go out of their way to make sure that I am not upset about things that wouldn't really affect me much anyway. The example I gave initially is a good one. Perhaps one which doesn't involve money (which, sadly, affects us all) would be something like "Hey, I borrowed that book I asked you for the other week, but you weren't around to double-check that it was okay, so I took it anyway. I hope that's alright?"

    I suppose what I really want to understand in this ISFJ/INFP dynamic is how best to implement the commonalities which obviously share.

    We both seem quite able to talk about the present or the future and come up with mutually enjoyable ideas about what to do etc or how we view situations/people. However, I get the feeling that there is a greater need on the part of the ISFJ to go somewhere in a literal sense. For example, agreeing to go to a place with an ISFJ (e.g. we'll go out to that new club on Friday night together) seems to entail definitely going there no matter what. If I were to say "Look, I really don't feel like going anymore", I get the feeling that there would be a grudging acceptance but still deep disappointment for the ISFJ. Being an FP, however, means that this in turn makes me feel bad to the point where I would rather go even if I didn't feel like it if only to ensure that no-one gets upset - after all, I don't really care about going to the club anymore, so it's no big deal if I do go, I might just zone out a bit.

    Is it the case that ISFJs need to be shown that what is agreed in theory will occur in practice? For me, agreeing in theory is usually enough, which is where this potential divergence may arise.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  10. #10
    Senior Member DJAchtundvierzig's Avatar
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    I have 2 co-workers who are an INFP and ISFJ and from my experiance, the ISFJ has the upmost respect about him. They like MANY similar things, and both are very artistic. The ISFJ will usually make creative little gifts for the INFP for no reason. The INFP gives nothing back but being a good friend and some advice here and there. Personally I think she gives the INFP too much credit, but whatever.

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