User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 21

  1. #1
    Junior Member Vika's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    29

    Default How can you tell if an ISTJ loves you?

    will they say it?
    show it?
    or just expect you to know?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    I talk quite regularly with an ISxJ who says that he prefers to show love through service and gifts rather than words and excessive affection, and even that he felt that his last serious girlfriend didn't understand that and he thinks that's part of what went wrong in their relationship.

    My ISTJ grandfather was the same way.

    Some people only think the words "I love you" should be said on special occasions, and aren't comfortable with gushy displays.

  3. #3
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    8,024

    Default

    The ex-ISTJ said it and showed it. But not often or effusively, which worked for me. He showed his caring in doing small services to keep life running smoothly. His gifts were low-key but relatively thoughtful, things that he thought I would enjoy.

    Just read your response marm. We've illustrated almost identical points.

  4. #4
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTx
    Posts
    10,552

    Default

    Ask and then physically torture us until you get a straight answer. Why would I divulge such a thing so openly? Dammit.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Vika's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    29

    Default

    So you mean I can get more than just: "Maybe. Would you want me to tell you if I did?" with use of physical force?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,591

    Default

    You'll know it in the way I treat you vs the way I treat others. That includes my attention, time, and other resources.

    To say "I Love You" all the time- just to say it -cheapens the meaning.

  7. #7
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,591

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Some people only think the words "I love you" should be said on special occasions, and aren't comfortable with gushy displays.
    This isn't exclusive to SJs, either.

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    This isn't exclusive to SJs, either.
    You're right. I presume it's also common with NTJs, ISTPs, and some very reserved INFJs.

    But we're talking about ISTJs here.

    And I would speculate (in fact I know) that ESFJs are more affectionate and expressive, so it's definitely not an "SJ thing."

  9. #9
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Well, my hubs is ESTJ, so I'll share here fwiw:

    He says "I love you" to me everyday. He always kisses me before he leaves for work, and when he gets home, with some hugs too. Calls me from work almost everyday somewhere in the afternoon.

    He does the dishes after dinner, always takes part in chores around our home together. Does the laundry (but that's more because he likes his laundry system .)

    Always remembers the special days, wants to please me and make me happy by doing what I would like to do (but I know what he likes to do too so I combine my ideas with his and keep the man happy. I buy his favorite foods and cook his favorite stuff and he loves to walk so we do that too ...)

    Those are the ways ... next month will be 22 years for us.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,128

    Default

    mine is much more for showing it... as he asked "why do I need to say it when I make it perfectly clear in other ways?"... he's thoughtful, he's always there to help me with anything, he listens to what I say, he looks at me like I'm the only girl in the room, he gets me small thoughtful gifts and he willingly is dragged along with me to things he doesn't really want to do and pretends to enjoy them because it makes me happy (he doesn't HAVE to by any means )

    I think he'd rather be nailed to the wall by his ear than to have to verbally say it though

    I'm not really one to go around saying "I love you" either though... I feel that saying it cheapens it in a way- anyone can SAY I love you, but you really have to love someone to SHOW that you love them
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-27-2015, 12:14 PM
  2. [INFJ] How can you tell if an INFJ likes your company?
    By briochick in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 10-20-2013, 12:35 PM
  3. [MBTItm] How can I tell if I'm and INFP or ISFP?
    By ItsAlwaysSunny in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-08-2011, 03:45 PM
  4. [ENFP] How can I tell if an ENFP is into me?
    By ed111 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 01-05-2011, 05:58 PM
  5. [INFJ] How can I tell if a female INFJ likes me or not?
    By ldzpplin518 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-17-2009, 03:10 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO