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  1. #1
    Member Dizzy's Avatar
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    Default How to coach an ISTJ?

    Hi there, I am an ISTJ working in consultancy. I have a coach, which is standard at my organization, who helps me with my personal development during my job. We talk about once a month. I am myself always involved with developing myself and this goes okay.

    She is an ESFJ.

    The problem I face is that I feel that she is not really able to help me further. I realize she feels this also, the conversations we have usually last around two hours and at times feel awkward. She is not really pushing me to change points of views and I feel that the problems I come across in my work, are mine to solve myself. Another problem is that she asks me what I expect from here and then I think, you are the coach so you tell me how we set this up. She is really nice and caring but I fear that we don't make enough progress.

    I really wonder how she should coach me in order to be effective. I would like someone to tell me point blank what they think and point out negatives, that stimulates my thinking and will to change things. Since I am constantly involved with developing myself, maybe sometimes there is no need for a coach. however I do like to talk to her, but we have come at a point where is getting a bit strange.

    Anyways, how could I change the situation? Can ISTJs be coached on career and stuff and what should one do?

    Bye hope to hear from you

  2. #2
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
    Anyways, how could I change the situation? Can ISTJs be coached on career and stuff and what should one do?

    Bye hope to hear from you
    I'm not sure I understand what it is exactly you want to change about the situation, because at the same time you seem to feel that things with this coach have come to a natural pass. If it feels weird just try not seeing her for a while and if things are going positively without her. Maybe you are just used to her now and comfortable with the familiarity and someone to talk to but don't actually need help any more.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  3. #3
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
    Hi there, I am an ISTJ working in consultancy. I have a coach, which is standard at my organization, who helps me with my personal development during my job. We talk about once a month. I am myself always involved with developing myself and this goes okay.

    She is an ESFJ.

    The problem I face is that I feel that she is not really able to help me further. I realize she feels this also, the conversations we have usually last around two hours and at times feel awkward. She is not really pushing me to change points of views and I feel that the problems I come across in my work, are mine to solve myself. Another problem is that she asks me what I expect from here and then I think, you are the coach so you tell me how we set this up. She is really nice and caring but I fear that we don't make enough progress.

    I really wonder how she should coach me in order to be effective. I would like someone to tell me point blank what they think and point out negatives, that stimulates my thinking and will to change things. Since I am constantly involved with developing myself, maybe sometimes there is no need for a coach. however I do like to talk to her, but we have come at a point where is getting a bit strange.

    Anyways, how could I change the situation? Can ISTJs be coached on career and stuff and what should one do?

    Bye hope to hear from you

    You probably know as much as she does and she can't tell you anything new. I have an ESFJ manager that relies on re-stating the obvious and speaking from his experience. In my field, there are really no 'right' or 'wrong' answers, it's all based on reasonability. So experience does count. The problem is my experience runs contrary to his, but my reasons are just as valid. So he can't teach me anything new in that respect. I do try to find new things out based on his experience.

    He says he loves to teach; I think he's better suited to teach newbies with no experience.

    You can coach me based on experience, and helping me see something from an angle that I probably would have not reached myself.

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