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[ISFJ] isfj's being boring

skylights

i love
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Sometimes I can't keep up with my ISFJ when he launches into detailed discussion of a situation I am very unfamiliar with. He tends to use a ton of clearly implication-heavy "keyword" language; it's clear that it really evokes something for him, but because I don't have any experience in that, I haven't attributed any significance to those words, so I struggle to keep up with whatever he's getting at.

I can't imagine finding him boring, though. He's open to new things (gasp, I know - important to remember that Je rigidity is more external than internal), he enjoys travelling, he's always up for fun little adventures, he's interested in politics and current events, he's great with people, he teases and flirts with me, he's always willing to listen and comment on my theoretical ramblings, he's quite aesthetic and creative, and he's got biting humor. Maybe people miss all of these sorts of things on the surface because of the IxxJ. I think that combination tends to keep a lot locked down underneath.

You've got to probe!

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W

WALMART

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They're less boring than istj's, at any rate.


Not saying I'm implying anything.
 

UniqueMixture

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I don't think isfjs are necessarily boring. They just tend to avoid risky behavior. I usually find them funny and often sexy
 

ehcriktic

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Of course when someone says something is interesting it's implicit that they're stating that they find it interesting, nothing wrong with that; unless one wants them to specifically point out that the person in question is talking only for themselves. However, that's quite tedious and I personally think that such a thing is boring, but that is just my opinion, or rather a belief that I have; actually maybe a personal value that is inherently factual.
 

miss fortune

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most people are rather interesting if you give them a chance and actually find interest in a variety of subjects... sometimes it's you that makes other people seem boring just because you don't know how to participate correctly in a conversation and you write topics off... :shrug:
 

tinker683

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most people are rather interesting if you give them a chance and actually find interest in a variety of subjects... sometimes it's you that makes other people seem boring just because you don't know how to participate correctly in a conversation and you write topics off... :shrug:

THIS! +1

I don't think I'm a boring individual, I think a lot of people are just too lazy and/or disinterested in doing the hard work of connecting with someone. They want people to be OUT THERE so they don't have to do any work.

If I'm quiet and keeping too myself, it's either because I don't find you to be particularly interesting or it's because you are discussing something I know little to nothing about so I have nothing worthwhile to add to the topic. Switch to a topic I know a lot about or ENGAGE me: Ask me what I think about XYZ topic or how I feel about something and I'll be happy to open up.

But if you're not willing to exert the effort to do that then I'm not interested in opening up
 

miss fortune

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THIS! +1

I don't think I'm a boring individual, I think a lot of people are just too lazy and/or disinterested in doing the hard work of connecting with someone. They want people to be OUT THERE so they don't have to do any work.

If I'm quiet and keeping too myself, it's either because I don't find you to be particularly interesting or it's because you are discussing something I know little to nothing about so I have nothing worthwhile to add to the topic. Switch to a topic I know a lot about or ENGAGE me: Ask me what I think about XYZ topic or how I feel about something and I'll be happy to open up.

But if you're not willing to exert the effort to do that then I'm not interested in opening up

it's amazing how easily conversations work when people ask questions of one another! :holy:

:cheese:

one of the first things I remember my dad saying is that if you want to learn anything or talk to anyone, the only real rule that there is is to ask questions... it's always worked :)
 

Chiharu

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For me I don't find ISFJs boring so much as... conventional, in a way?

One of my friends, for example, is an ISFJ. She's very liberal and open-minded and likes art, so she likes to classify herself as a highly original misfit. But she spouts the same spiel and redraws and writes about other people's characters rather than making her own. She over-identifies with whatever group she feels part of and discerning her own unique qualities is nigh impossible.

She a very immature ISFJ, but these qualities are present in the mature ISFJs I know as well, just not to the extreme.

So in that sense, to me with my ENFP type 4 bias, ISFJs can be boring to talk to.
 

Orangey

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For me I don't find ISFJs boring so much as... conventional, in a way?

One of my friends, for example, is an ISFJ. She's very liberal and open-minded and likes art, so she likes to classify herself as a highly original misfit. But she spouts the same spiel and redraws and writes about other people's characters rather than making her own. She over-identifies with whatever group she feels part of and discerning her own unique qualities is nigh impossible.

She a very immature ISFJ, but these qualities are present in the mature ISFJs I know as well, just not to the extreme.

So in that sense, to me with my ENFP type 4 bias, ISFJs can be boring to talk to.

Yeah, I have an ISFJ friend who is obsessed with this certain obscure branch of philosophy so much that she's decided to try and make a career out of it. The only thing is she rarely has anything original to say about the subject because she will not deviate from what her favorites have already said, and she treats them almost as gospel.

I think it's less an issue of inherent creativity (of course, since that would be stupid), but more one of willfulness and loyalty. That is, I think ISFJs have the tendency to be self-abnegating to the point of unsung martyrdom and often feel undeserving of the opportunity to put themselves forward, and they value loyalty so highly that they will have issues detaching themselves from something to which they have emotionally adhered (whether that's a particular school of thought, style, or worldview), and these two things together can result in the stifling of creative energy.
 

tinker683

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Yeah, I have an ISFJ friend who is obsessed with this certain obscure branch of philosophy so much that she's decided to try and make a career out of it. The only thing is she rarely has anything original to say about the subject because she will not deviate from what her favorites have already said, and she treats them almost as gospel.

I think it's less an issue of inherent creativity (of course, since that would be stupid), but more one of willfulness and loyalty. That is, I think ISFJs have the tendency to be self-abnegating to the point of unsung martyrdom and often feel undeserving of the opportunity to put themselves forward, and they value loyalty so highly that they will have issues detaching themselves from something to which they have emotionally adhered (whether that's a particular school of thought, style, or worldview), and these two things together can result in the stifling of creative energy.

That...may be part of it. I can't speak for other ISFJs but for me it's more of a matter of that I'm far more comfortable working within existing systems than attempting step outside of what is known and try and figure something out wholly original. The whole idea of trying to do that actually is both incredibly intimidating and a little scary....I wouldn't even know how to go about doing that. I think it's an Ne-inferior thing myself.

What I AM good at is using pre-existing systems and finding ways to make practical use of them. I think this is where the idea of SJs being "grounded thinkers" originates from, not necessarily because we have common sense (we may not) but because we think well within the box and well within whatever the established parameters are.

This doesn't mean I'm not capable of being creative....it's just all going to be expressed using preexisting methods and nothing outside of the box. But thats just me.
 

Giggly

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think it's less an issue of inherent creativity (of course, since that would be stupid), but more one of willfulness and loyalty. That is, I think ISFJs have the tendency to be self-abnegating to the point of unsung martyrdom and often feel undeserving of the opportunity to put themselves forward, and they value loyalty so highly that they will have issues detaching themselves from something to which they have emotionally adhered (whether that's a particular school of thought, style, or worldview), and these two things together can result in the stifling of creative energy.

That's probably true, and I can see how that can come off as boring.
 

roastingmallows

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ISFJs are by no means boring! I am more or less obsessed with them. Perhaps to some types they are boring, but those types probably suck to you too. One of my favorite people in the world is an ISFJ and she is a RIOT. Only thing that bugs me about her is that I love her so much and always want to party with her but she always wants to go to bed too early when the party has just begun. She'll be extremely entertaining for about two hours, but is quickly exhausted by socializing. She is kind of a mother hen, over reacts about messes and noise level, etc, but I find this very endearing and hilarious about her. She is fiercely intelligent, loyal, and extremely witty. She is also artistically talented as well as responsible, and somewhat emotionally vulnerable.

All types suck in some way, and some have worse reps than others. Join the club, man! They don't know what the're missing out on. ;D
 

Giggly

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ISFJs are by no means boring! I am more or less obsessed with them. Perhaps to some types they are boring, but those types probably suck to you too. One of my favorite people in the world is an ISFJ and she is a RIOT. Only thing that bugs me about her is that I love her so much and always want to party with her but she always wants to go to bed too early when the party has just begun. She'll be extremely entertaining for about two hours, but is quickly exhausted by socializing. She is kind of a mother hen, over reacts about messes and noise level, etc, but I find this very endearing and hilarious about her. She is fiercely intelligent, loyal, and extremely witty. She is also artistically talented as well as responsible, and somewhat emotionally vulnerable.

All types suck in some way, and some have worse reps than others. Join the club, man! They don't know what the're missing out on. ;D

Awww thanks!
 

Il Morto Che Parla

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I think many ISFJ's would be a good girlfriend. Maybe "boring" to some, but a good influence. My friend has one, she's a nice girl, I'm jealous.:(
 

Giggly

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I think many ISFJ's would be a good girlfriend. Maybe "boring" to some, but a good influence. My friend has one, she's a nice girl, I'm jealous.:(

That's really nice. :)
 

Giggly

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I'm super exciting. The highlight of my day today was getting some dental work done. Now I'm about to read some stuff about accounting.
 

Kayness

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I know quite a few ISFJs in my life and I never thought they're boring! My brother, for instance, recently teased me for having a runny nose..he poked my nose and squealed, "snot dispenser!" and giggled. I mean he's usually quiet and serious but he does have moments of playfulness like that.
 
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